I haven't had any truly noteworthy dreams thus far for October, so I'm just gonna post me best-of-September dream a little tardy here:

9/27/08

ABUSE THE ELDERLY!

So here's strange for you. I was in this big building, participating in some weird kind of rally with Slip. We were sitting in a seat watching speakers come up and tell their life stories, having been ex-crackheads and such. Then Slip and I did something that I'm just not going to tell you, because I'd like to keep my dignity, thank you very much. Anyway, after that, I got up and had a look around the building we were in. I came across a door that looked like a bathroom door, only on the plaque there was a caricature of a long-haired man with a halo, and "Christ" written underneath it. Below the plaque was a laminated sign that said "Only the First Four Permitted". The whole "Jesus' Bathroom" thing just struck me as very funny and I had to laugh. Then, as if to tell me how this bathroom came to be, the dream brought me into the perspective of another man. I guess I was a designer, and had the task of designing bathrooms for the rally building. I was sitting at a table with whom I suppose was my girlfriend. Then, four old people (a short-haired, fit old woman; her sister, a long-haired, out-of-shape old woman; this huge "Igor"-looking man with a hunched back; and someone else I didn't get a good look at) approached me and told me to show them what I had done for the bathroom design. I led them to the bathroom I had designed - it was pretty nice, with polished granite lining the sinks and polished marble lining the floor, walls and ceiling. I seem to remember there being an empty McDonald's fry cup attached to the wall for no apparent reason whatsoever (design flaw, maybe?). They disapproved of my bathroom, so I got angry and stormed out, only to find myself in another, more cushy bathroom. Here, the lighting and color scheme were light teal. They ordered me to get out - this bathroom was supposedly meant for Christ when he returned, and that only "The First Four", which I'm assuming was them, were permitted to step foot in it. Then I realized that they were not implying Jesus Christ, but the anti-Christ. Then the fit old woman with the short hair procured a shotgun. I wrestled it from her hands; in response, the others had drawn similar firearms and, in a panic, I jumped out of the bathroom window (which was on the second floor...) and landed on a grassy yard below. It was nighttime outside, and I ran across the yard into a house that was deserted. Then I guess I was myself again, and Slip had somehow found his way there as well. The Four were shooting in our direction from various windows lining the rally building. The girlfriend of the designer guy (remember, the guy I just was) called out to me, dropping a whole crate full of shotgun shells out the window from which I had previously defenestrated myself. I ran out from my shelter, across the grass, and grabbed it, dodging bullets all the way. I ran back into the house, across the yard, where I began to load as many shells into my shotgun as would fit. From one of the house's windows, I aimed carefully at the fit old woman (whom I could see through one of the rally building's windows) and shot; I got her good. At that moment, Rocky the Squirrel broke in through a window and tried to attack me...I grabbed him and severed his head on the jagged remnants of the window pane he had burst through. I then went to find another one of the Four to aim at, but just then someone started shooting at me with a machine gun. It was the fit old woman who I thought I had killed. I turned the light on my shotgun off and ceased fire for a while. She went back into the building so I followed her quietly. Then there was this cheesy old song playing, and I heard the lyrics "We live forever in each other". I saw the long-haired, unfit old woman sleeping peacefully in a bed, with her sister's ghost watching over her and singing those lyrics. So I loaded in a round and shot the one in bed - the music abruptly stopped, and the ghost of the short-haired old woman I had killed looked horrified, then vanished. "Two more", thought I. I set out to find the huge Igor-like man next, but I was stopped by my cat, who jumped on my arm, teeth and claws ablaze. I easily subdued him...there was heavy metal playing in the background through all this, and when there was a pause in the music, the cat hissed at me, which I thought was pretty hilarious. Then I woke up.