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    Thread: 05/04/2010 - Serious Business

    1. #1
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      05/04/2010 - Serious Business

      Link to entry.

      As this is a gallery piece, I will provide stars for the entirety of my rating system at the end of this post.

      04.05.2010
      Serious Business (DILD)
      ★★★★★
      NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID






      CRASH!

      I burst through the glass, quickly drawing my blade. Still arcing in the air to the grass below, I shout "Bankai!" releasing the true power of my sword. As I looked down on the lightsaber battle ensuing in my backyard, I see several friends caught up in the fray. Still falling, I bring my hand up to my face and tear down my Vizard mask, enjoying the rush of power. Landing skillfully on the grass, everyone notices my entrance. The clash of sabers ceases as I look up through my red and white mask. I pick a target.

      Walking casually into the battle, I relieve someone of his fight, pushing him to the side. Taking a relaxed stance, my blade in one hand, the young 'Jedi' acting as my opponent stares back at me, terrified. He makes a cautious pass at my left side with his green lightsaber. Sneering behind my mask, I parry, flick his weapon away, and stab him in the shoulder, all in one motion. As he staggers backwards, it's easy to see how pissed he is. He charges at me, letting loose a guttural cry.

      Still relaxed, I deflect each of his thrusts and slashes, but my complacency gets the better of me. The saber cuts through my side as I jump away, avoiding the brunt of what would have been a fatal blow.

      FZZSHHEEWW!

      A sharp pain shoots up my right arm as I finally take notice of the other 'Jedi' who have come to aid their comrade. Surrounded, a feeling of panic blossoms at my core. Sensing my moment of weakness, the group attacks as one. I do my best to defend myself, but a few blows end up getting through. I shout violently, emitting a wave of energy that pushes them all backwards. My fiery rage burns away any previous inhibition. "That's it. No more of this fucking kiddie shit."

      In a flash, I cut down a 'Jedi' to my left, severing his body into 5 pieces instantaneously. Fear strikes the others as I stand there, bloodied blade in hand, 20 feet from where I was less than a second ago. Before the pieces of the man I just killed could hit the ground, they begin to run, but not fast enough. I speed from one victim to the next, dismembering and mutilating their bodies as I go. My speed and precision is unparalleled. And yet, despite my rampage, save the first, I leave them all alive. . . mostly.


      _________________________


      Full Rating Details:

      Importance: ★★★★☆

      This was the first instance I used my Vizard mask in combat, a longstanding goal of mine. I also was able to demonstrate my vast improvement in dream combat.


      Action: ★★★★★

      The whole thing was action oriented, from beginning to end.


      Control: ★★★★★

      I had seemingly full control.


      Vividness: ★★★★☆

      There is only one part of this dream that lost a bit of focus, near the end, everything else was remarkably vivid.


      Writing: ★★★★★

      One of my better entries in terms of writing.


      Humor: ★★☆☆☆

      Not the funniest thing ever, but I find it amusing that I thought I was being considerate leaving them all alive.


      General Awesomeness: ★★★★★

      It really was.


      Bad-Assery: ★★★★★

      Especially that one line.


      Overall Score: 35/40

      For a 5-Star rating an entry has to get at least a 33 out of 40.

    2. #2
      http://bit.ly/GoToCME Clyde Machine's Avatar
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      Woo! Mind-blowingly great dream!
      Mzzkc likes this.
      DV Dictionary. / Verious: a definition. /

      I'm not on DV much these days, but I'll try to toss a cool dream or two into my DJ.

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