My cousin and I

Last night I had a reoccuring dream, this time just a little different. I don't remember all the details. But it started at my cousins house, not his real life house. But in my dream it was his house. I was showering and he was downstairs by himself just watching tv, like he does normally. I got out of the shower, put my towel on and walked into the room where he was. Then I asked him what would he do if i dropped my towel. I don't remember how he answered but I dropped my towel and i remembered that we had had sex. And I remember that after I liked it. But I don't remember all the in between stuff. I remember in the dream that me and him were a consistent thing but i don't remember seeing anything else happen between us before i woke up. And i know in the dream that we were together and that we were hiding it from our family.

I've had this dream at least five times, but this is the first that i've actually remembered details of. My cousin and I are really close, he's only a couple years older. I'm 18, he's just turned 20. And we've grown up together and were close as children as well. I've never thought of him sexually but I have wanted him to want me. Because i like the feeling of guys wanting me.

I think you've answered your own question. You clearly feel comfortable with your cousin, and isn't it natural to want sex with someone with whom you feel comforatble and you trust? Easy in dreams, of course, but I guess problems start in the real world where you would face a moral dilemma if you started thinking sexually about your cousin. Is it an incestuous thought or not? It's legal and it happens not infrequently but who is to say? You are hiding it from your family (in the dream) presumably because of the guilt associated with it.

Are you wondering what to do with the dream? I guess it sounds confusing for you. In fact I would suggest welcoming the dream, because it shows you what sort of relationship you are looking for in a lover. Further, remembering that this isn't really your cousin but only something your mind has conjured up in a dream, you have got in touch with your "inner lover". By that I mean the feeling, not the person in the dream. And people in real life never quite match up to our inner lover anyway.

Maybe you will find it easier now to let go of your need to have guys wanting you now that you know the feeling driving that comes from within and can only really be satisfied from within. You will then be able to see people more for who they are rather than for what you want them to be.

(sighs) Wouldn't the world be a much happier place if everyone managed to do that?