Dreaming about the same person

I have been keeping a dream journal for a while now, and since I have gone through what I have written this person keeps popping up. I know them in real life. Me and him definitely have a one of a kind connection but are stuck in rather difficult positions as to where we can't explore this further. He keeps appearing in my dreams with the feeling of this exact same connection we have in real life. Although his appearance does change from time to time there is no doubt in my mind that I know it is him. I have looked into different theories and interpretations of what this dream could mean. I have considered that he could be the animus, the male side of me, and I have unconsciously chosen this person to fill this spot. I have considered that it is just my mind filling in something I wish could be in real life. This just feels like it's more than that though.

It would be nice to hear some opinions or similar experiences.

Hello miranduh29

What you describe certainly sounds to me what Jung would call the "animus". It's nothing mystical, it's how our mind handles the strongly-defined opposite-sex archetype in our culture and society. People sometimes dream of random strangers and other times people they know. But it's not just the image, it's the whole construct with all the emotional and cognitive characteristics present too.

Look at it like this. If you and this person were to start an intimate relationship of some sort, would the relationship live up to the fantasy or would it be fraught with the usual problems of being let down by the other person all the time, because they don't behave as we would like them to? Many of us have been through that love-anger-hurt cycle at some time in our lives, because we project our animus/anima onto the other (using Jungian terms - other psychologies have other ways of talking about much the same thing).

I've been there too and, believe me, it doesn't work and you could find you'll tear yourself apart trying to make it work. Far better to accept these dreams for what they are and enjoy them. If you can start to integrate your dream-love into your daily life, by remembering that you are the you you already know as well as the you expressed in the animus then you'll find you will forge more wholesome relationships with other men, without projecting your animus onto them. Maybe this man can be a good wholesome friend anyway, but the challenge is to separate your fantasy of him with the person you experience in the here-and-now. So, if it's not too late, don't fall in love with this man quite so readily!

This all may sound like some kind of curse, but it's quite the opposite, I believe. Better to accept the animus for the part of you it really is, than to carry on thinking it's someone else (through projection).