A hummingbird

First time here, here's my dream:

I was standing around outside, not doing anything special, when a big flying bug smashed in to my head. It didn't hurt, and I waved my hands around to make the bug go away. It did, and I noticed it landing behind a low wall. I peeked over the wall to see the bug, but it wasn't a bug at all, it was a black hummingbird. It sat on the ground and looked at me, and I could feel that it was hurt - not physically but emotionally. Still, the bird was beautiful and shiny.

I couldn't remember this dream until later on in the morning. And somehow, it scared me. I've had a knot in my stomach since remembering the dream. I feel that a life crisis might be starting.

(And I live in Finland and have never seen a hummingbird except for on tv.)

I can't interpret beyond symbols, so here's my take:

The hummingbird/bug is something (or more likely somebody) who you find unnerving or annoying on a surface level. They're not meaning to be this way - it's the best of intentions, as they appreciate you - but nevertheless it occurs and they're hurt by this rejection which they can't really understand. The dream's encouraging you to look beyond that to eliminate all the hurt that's currently occurring.

Thank you, Lseadragon, for your answer. The dream is still bugging (ha!) me, and I have huge knot in my stomach.

I know what the dream refers to, but somehow I had hoped that a dream this symbolic would give me guidance. But I feel that it's only confusing me.

Something has happened in my life, and there are two people who I do find unnerving at the moment. And somehow I feel that it's ok to open up here, among dreamers. So here goes...

I'm 31 years old, no kids. Been with the same guy for 10 years, married for 4. We're quite happy, there's nothing really wrong with our lives or our relationship. I love him dearly. But our sex life has died down, although I'm a very sexual and passionate person. I don't know what it is on his part, but he just doesn't seem to be interested in having sex with me. And this has been going on for years. I want more, he doesn't. And until now, I had been willing to submit to this. And I've always been very faitful, I've never even felt the need to look for someone else.

But last weekend I went to visit my friend, who lives in Switzerland. She had to fly abroad for work, but she let me stay in her appartement. So I got to hang out by myself. I had arranged to meet another friend, but she had to work too. This friend, though, had set me up with a male friend of hers. It was supposed to be a night of hanging out, drinking wine and listening to live jazz. But it turned out to be so much more.

As you might have already guessed, I spent the night with this guy. We really hit it of, had so much fun, I enjoyed it (as did he), and I didn't feel guilty in the morning. Quite the contrary, I wanted to just stay with him. But my plane was leaving and I had to go. We decided to become good friends and maybe see each other again.

And as soon as I left, I started missing him. At first I thought that this could have been just my little adventure, but it was something more. For him too, I think. I haven't told anybody and I'm not going to. But I feel that something has shifted. The hummingbird won't leave me be.

I also feel, that this doesn't actually have anything to do with my husband. Although I have to say, that after I've come home from my trip, he hasn't made any sexual advances towards me.

I've left some part of me with this other guy. We've sent some emails, and I think about him all the time. I'm a very grounded person, I don't easily get overwhelmed. But all of a sudden I'm kind of infatuated, I feel that I have to get know this new person better.

So, this is my emotional crisis. This might all be my fear of really committing to my life and starting a family. But for some time now I've been wondering, if this is the life I truly want.

I'm so happy there's this great forum where the anonymity gives me a chance to be open. I'm a big dreamer, but usually my dreams are just entertaining, not perplexing. But then again, my life has been quite simple up until now. But being among fellow dreamers makes me feel safe.

And sorry if my English is a bit lacking...

That changes my interpretation substantially. It seems to me that the bug/bird would instead symbolise the part of your psyche that's bothered about the lack of activity on your husband's part. It doesn't actively hurt, so it's not enough to spur the change in your consciousness; but it's an irritant that you keep swatting away, finding it annoying and insectile.

When you went over to the wall, and peeked over (possibly as a symbolism of the night you spent; just a peek, one look) such pleasures were not seen as the bug - an issue to suppress - but the bird, a thing of beauty. I'm unsure where the emotional hurt is coming from - it could be a number of sources - but based on that I'd say the issue with your husband has perhaps been bothering you more than you care to let on. Without a look over the wall there might not have been another situation to compare it too, however.

Have you ever brought up the issue properly?

Yes, your interpretation seems to reflect my emotions of the moment. I'm really confused and scared, but I've decided to find out what I really want and need.

The lack of sex has been an issue for years, and I've tried to fix this every possible way (for him it's not a problem that needs fixing - or not even a problem). But now I feel that the situation hasn't changed and will not change. Actually I think there are three possible solutions: the situation will stay the same; it will get worse; it will get better. But of these three the last one is the least probable, because I can't ask him to want me more...

Earlier I thought that the hummingbird was disturbing me, but now I'm really grateful for its appearance.

I know birds are gods messengers good sign I believe

I truly hope so. And I believe that if I'm true to myself, life will be good.

If you believe then you can achieve.