I had a dream of being a hermaphrodite and I need an interpretation please.
I am a woman in my thirties in a long-term relationship with a man in real, waking life.
I have always considered myself to be a heterosexual person, and never had any lesbian experiences in my life.
The only time in my life that I ever had an attraction to the same sex was when I met my friend “Mary” over 11 years ago when I had moved to an entirely new state in the US on my own.
When I met Mary, she was a beautiful blonde with an incredible figure and a great sense of humor. She was generous, and friendly, and had no problem with any kind of personal intimacy. She was a very warm spirit, and as my friendship evolved with her, I found out that she was lying about the fact that she worked as a “data-entry clerk”. Mary was actually a stripper.
Well, as I was discovering my own self back then in my early twenties, I realized that I was actually starting to have an attraction towards Mary. She was gorgeous, and even though having to be very sexual for her job, I found her to be a protective person of me as a friend, and I just loved her.
In fact, in conversation I will admit to people that if I were to be a man and live my life over again, I would have made Mary marry me; I would have made her quit the sex industry business, and I would have never let her get away.
11 years later, I still talk to Mary, yet on the phone. We talk every so often. Mary has moved on from sex work to working in a restaurant. We talk about everything. Mary still battles alcohol and drug addiction, but seems to be in a better place than she was when I met her.
The strangest thing is that I had a dream about her last night, and I can’t figure it out.
In the dream I was living in a town with my real, waking life male partner. He was often preoccupied with male friends in this dream, and I wanted to move out and away from him.
I had plans to move to another state, but it would have been a costly move. In the dream (not in reality as Mary and I now live very far apart from each other - the both of us had moved again in our lives) Mary happened to live in the same town as myself and my partner, in a beautiful house in the suburbs with a converted basement apartment. When I told her that I was debating moving away to another state, she said I could rent her basement from her, and stay in town without having to live with my partner anymore.
Instantly I felt attracted to her in the dream. And then I looked down, and I had a penis! A big one, too, but it was not erect. I still had my female parts, all of them in fact, but just a penis and testicles added.
She left her house and left me there, saying she had to go to work. I went to my boyfriend and asked him why he never told me that I had a penis all this time. He said he just avoided it, because I had all my other parts. I told him I wanted to take this opportunity to find out what it would be like to be sexual with a woman, and then afterwards, I would decide to have a surgery to get the male anatomy on me removed, but only after being able to have a sexual experience with a woman. I said I would want the surgery because I have always identified myself as a female, and want to continue to.
But having a penis was very challenging. I went back to Mary’s house while she was still gone and looked through her things, hoping to find naked pictures of her to see if I could get an erection. Sometimes I had one, but then it went away. There was a lot of frustration, because I wasn’t feeling as satisfied as I thought I would, and it was difficult maintaining an erection, and then the other strange burden of having my female anatomy and how unnatural (for me, at least) it would be to be intimate with another woman with male anatomy, while still having female anatomy. The latter part of the dream, I was trying everything I could to try to get women in bed with me. But it was very frustrating, because things weren’t easy. The other thing is that I assumed in the dream that “Mary” would be okay with my extra appendage because she is a friend of mine, and that I thought she would agree to have sex with my new anatomy because she used to be a sex worker, but somehow in the later parts of the dream, she was surprisingly hard-to-get, and this frustrated me even more.
I am mystified. I only had a dream like this once before - about 10 years ago, Ihad a dream that I looked down at my body, and I had testicles. But that’s the only other time in my life that i had a dream like this.
What does this dream mean?