My Life Decisions and My Last Dream

Here is my personal situation:

I have been living in Washington for 16 years with my husband. While here we have had 2 children. I have been trying to leave (to go back to CA) off and on for 11 of those years, while 5 years ago we actually left to travel the US, most of the time in CA, but soon returned to gather our things, then never left out of fear of being able to make it in CA. I have been trying to get my whole family on board, but when my son turned 12, I promised that I would never move him again. He is now 13 and I have been suffering even more with guilt and despair (yes despair) since I created a beautiful house and garden in a lovely community that I basically feel dead in for no reason. Another interesting side note is that although my 27 years in CA I never was at a loss for close friends, I have had few friends here most not from here and for the past 2 years, I have no close friends.

Last night I dreamed:
We were all on a hike in a cool place that looked like a Washington forest. I was in the back of the line, while my husband was in the front. We kept walking and suddenly I noticed that one of the trees was a redwood. I couldn't believe we had walked all the way to CA and I threw my arms around the redwood as though it was a family member I had lost. I swung into the air with the tree yelling, "I am so glad to be home and I will never leave CA again!" Yes, it was pure joy! I remember the family walking ahead, while I felt I needed to call my whole family to tell them the good news.

Overall the dream was extremely detailed in color and almost real for I thought I was awake. I woke up so excited in emotion, but immediately sad to be in my bed back in WA.

I guess my question is do I make a life decision on this? Is this destiny or am I being selfish?

First of all, thank you for sharing the story. I would read into your dream as this: Obviously, you feel there is a place (California) that holds a special memory to you. It is a place you love. It seems like that is home to you. I interpret your dream as a signal to rediscover your roots. Often in dreams we go to places that are comforting to us, especially if we cannot physically be there. I think this was a healing dream for you.

Personally, I do not think you are being selfish. I think that if moving back to California is viable option for you and your family, you should explore it. I take it you are a loyal woman and a woman of your word, and I know it is not hard to feel guilty if you made your son a promise. However, find solace in knowing that you are likely a great parent and not only taking your personal needs and wants into the equation, but others as well. Your two children will come to understand in time. They too, at a point in their life, will spread their wings and fly too.

Your son is at an age where he is still developing a concept of self. His years forthcoming (in high school) will be extremely important to his forming and foundation. If you do make a move, I would think it would be appropriate before an integral part in his life journey begins.

Feel free to send me a private message or respond on this if you have any other questions or comments.

Wish you and yours all the best.

-- Chris

Thank you so much for your kind words and thoughts. It has helped me tremendously.

No worries, I hope that you and your family enjoy all that is to come. Feel free to private message me if you want to ever chat about things. Take care, OK?