Any insight would be wonderful...

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12-16-2012, 11:33 AM
nrz242

Any insight would be wonderful...

I already have some idea of the emotional content and/or meanings in this dream but it hasn't left my mind in a few days and I was hoping maybe I'd found a place where someone could add some insight and perspective for me. First a little background: I lost my father to lymphoma in 2005 when I was 18. We both had our emotional shortcomings and it has taken me up until about a week ago to finally forgive him for the misunderstandings that caused me so much pain when I was younger. My mother is still alive and she and I are very close. I have a 14 year old sister with whom I'm also extremely close.

In my dream my mother had recently passed away and I was still in shock from the loss and fighting to keep it together. My sister looked to me for support and comfort and my father was still alive, although extremely ill and weak as he was near his death. My sister and I both knew that we would soon lose him as well. There was none of the animosity I felt towards my father when he was alive. The odd thing about the dream was that (and this is gonna sound weird) I alternately saw my father sick in bed and as a giant (elephant sized) skeletal vulture. When I saw him in the aspect of a vulture it was in some very surreal no-mans-land, and when I saw him as I knew him when he was alive it was in the home I grew up in, not the house we were living in when he died. When I first saw the vulture it was standing with its back towards me with its wings raised and I had an overwhelming desire to embrace it but I recognized as my father. As I got closer to it it continued to decay and disintegrate. We spoke but I don't remember what was said, the feature that stood out to me was the huge blind, orb-like eyes. I vividly recall seeing bits of tissue rotting away from the face and jaw, the whole image was gruesome and would have been horrifying in a nightmare but I only felt an odd catharsis, closeness, and a sense of loss.

At the end of the dream I saw my sister standing by my fathers bed and I broke down and began crying and apologizing. My father was trying to comfort me by making me repeat back to him a day and time we had agreed to meet for a date, and I cried even harder knowing that he wouldn't be around to meet me. I woke myself crying but felt an incredible sense of accomplishment when I remembered the dream.
So I know my subconscious worked out some big problems and I have plenty of ideas on the release of emotions and psychological hang ups after harboring resentment for 7 years. What I would really like is for anyone to take a crack at some of the symbolism in this dream (if there is any) and give me any insight into some possible interpretations. If you've had the patients to read this far and would be willing to help me break this down I would be very grateful, thank you
12-18-2012, 09:24 AM
blackbirdrising

Yes it has lots of symbolism. The first piece of symbolism is your mother dying. IRL, its your father who died. You're still trying to forgive him for some things, you said, and part of the grieving process is forgiveness.

Quote:

In my dream my mother had recently passed away and I was still in shock from the loss and fighting to keep it together. My sister looked to me for support and comfort and my father was still alive, although extremely ill and weak as he was near his death. My sister and I both knew that we would soon lose him as well. There was none of the animosity I felt towards my father when he was alive.

In the dream, your mind took on what it would be like if it was your mother dying, because its much easier for you to forgive her instead of your dad. That allowed you to feel the necessary feelings of grieving so you could process through them - for your dad.

Quote:

When I first saw the vulture it was standing with its back towards me with its wings raised and I had an overwhelming desire to embrace it but I recognized as my father.

The giant,starving, decaying vulture represented your feelings towards your dad. Was he over powering, controlling, needing to always be seen as "right", very critical, demanding perfection, and impossible to please? If so, he was very hard to be around, and I can see why you would choose hugging a monstrous vulture over him.

Quote:

At the end of the dream I saw my sister standing by my fathers bed and I broke down and began crying and apologizing. My father was trying to comfort me by making me repeat back to him a day and time we had agreed to meet for a date, and I cried even harder knowing that he wouldn't be around to meet me. I woke myself crying but felt an incredible sense of accomplishment when I remembered the dream.

You worked through the resentment you felt for the way he treated you and your mind let you feel the pain of the loss. I'm glad you were able to do that.
12-20-2012, 02:04 PM
Superman1

Agree and disagree in parts with blackbirdrising

At the risk of repeateing herself, lol, at points, here's mine:

No, your mother dying in the dream means she died in your eyes because her husband did.
Your dream is about the shock of her grief, but more importantly its affect on you and you trying to keep it together.

So, if you had this dream after your dad's death, your sister looked to you for support and comfort and your father was still alive in your mind, meaning it seems you had not accepted his death or held onto him, as you said you did til a week ago.
Him being extremely ill is probably his ill understanding of you and how close to letting it go you always were since 2005. How close to death he was in the dream.

perhaps you knew, or thought, your sister would soon lose that too, or let go. But your sister could be another, closest part of you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
YOUR TWO VIEWS.
Your view of him has alternated between sick and helpless, and an overbearing giant emotionally and mentally starved vulture - scavenging on you.
As the monster, he was in no man's land, mentally, as you thought of your early years growing up with him.

Perhaps, in life when you first saw your father as a vulture, with his back towards you, or facing away from you in defiance, you naturally had an overwhelming desire to embrace your father in his ill nature, as any son might.
But as you tried to get closer to him in this state he continued to decay and disintegrate, your relationship did.

Nothing memorable passed between you two.

You saw that he was hugely blind.

And that his expression was rotten.

Gruesome as he appeared, you felt an odd catharsis, closeness, and a sense of loss. For he was always your father.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~RECONCILIATION

The end of the dream was about you finally forgiving him.
You saw your sister, who may really represents a part of you in the dream, or as well, by your father, and you broke down and began crying and apologizing.
You wanted the thought of your father now to comfort you, and you thought to take it a day at a time, making a 'date' -a future time ~ when you would get together, making you even sadder your peace with him would not include him.
You woke up then to that reality, which was an incredible accomplishment for you.