Four Dreams; Insight Needed
Short backstory: I am currently going through some personal transformation, refocusing my daily life on over-all health and spiritual well-being, working to acheive some personal goals, one of which is nurturing my talent as a musician. I am married eight years with one child, a three year old boy. our relationship has been rough lately and I have been seriously considering seperation, on and off again, but I am still hoping that things may smooth over. He is very committed and I am on the fence. The effects of these recent dreams were very strong, but the meaning is puzzling to me. I would appreciate any and all insight that could be given!
DREAM 1: My brother-in-law is in my kitchen, accusing me of being a fake. I can't hear his exact words/accusations. I fly into a fit of terrifying rage and agony, screaming, crying, and pleading my case. I tell him that he doesn't know the real me at all, etc. He doesn't argue with me, but is smiling and calm. When I am finished, he responds placidly; He tells me that everything will be all right. He tells me, "He isn't your father. He can't help you. He can't give you what you want, what you are looking for." I look to the side, to see my husband sitting and staring at the computer. I suddenly overcome with immense relief and feel purged, cleansed, full of joy. I look at my brother-in-law and he is beautiful and smiling. I feel love for him and almost embrace him, but I remember who he is and hold on to myself instead. I tell him, "Thank you, thank you." and I am grateful from the bottom of my heart, and then I awaken.
DREAM 2: I am traveling with my husband and a good friend (an old friend, artist and fellow musician). I decide that I want to go on vacation, and am suddenly am on some tropical island. I am wandering through the hotel, feeling amorous, looking for my friend. I want to be alone with him, and am talking to him/calling him, but can not see or hear him. I find myself on the floor of a hotel room, naked, tangled in a big blanket, but mostly exposed. I look up and see my husband in the kitchen, naked, making food, smiling, oblivious. My friend is sitting still and serene in a chair in a corner of the room; I crawl to him and he looks at me, calm, beautiful, smiling. I make myself prostrate before him, putting my head on his feet, feeling his shoes pressed against my forehead. He bends over me and I feel him kiss the back of my head. I am suddenly overwhelmed with sadness and loneliness, and then I awaken.
DREAM 3: It is the middle of the night and I am shopping with my son. I am looking for new clothes for myself and for him. We are in a very busy department store. I put a new pair of shoes on him and plan to walk out of the store with them on his feet; I feel sad and ashamed but not remorseful or hesitant at all; I just want him to have a nice pair of shoes which he needs badly. I don't remember if I actually took them or not.
I take him on a drive. Then we are standing on a dirt country road; it is very dark. I tell my son to look up, "Look at the sky, all of the stars! Isn't it beautiful?" I look up and the sky is very deep and very black, filling up with many, many stars; more than I have ever seen. They are clearer and the sky is bigger than I have ever seen. My vision expands and I see that this mass of stars forms a solid shape in the middle of an otherwise solid black sky; it was the distinct shape of a sheild or the shell of a turtle. I was amazed by this!
The next thing I remember, it was mid-day and I am walking around the grounds of the care home where my great grand-mother is currently living. I see my deceased grandmother, my mother, my sister, and my step sister are all walking hand in hand before me on a wide concrete path towards cars in a parking lot. My vision expands and in the distance are rolling green hills and beautiful trees. My vision expands again and I see that it is a flat image pinned to a surface by large thumb tacks. I become lucid and wake instantly.
DREAM 4: I am working in my garden in dead winter, cleaning out debris. Some plants have died back and many are dying. Someone had ripped some out of the plants our of the ground and the garden was very cold and ugly, but I felt fine with this. I felt nuetral and peaceful, clear-headed and feeling cold wind on my face.
A man (stranger) who was living across the street was showing off an old chair I believed belonged to my deceased grandmother (though I have never seen it before). I was very desperate and sad and pleaded with him to return it to me, but he refused vehemently, obviously very attatched to the chair, which is covered in hideously ugly blue and orange fabric. As soon as he left his house for work I decided to steal it, and it instantly appeared in my house, and I look for a place to hide it. When he returns he is outraged and breaks into my bedroom through the window, completely destroying one of the walls beside my bed, tearing through the house to find it. There are shard of glass everywhere. Then I am in the garage. The chair is hidden in my husbands car, which is stuffed with junk. He can't see it and I tell the man that I don't have it. I felt my husbands presence there, but I couldn't see him. I think my sister was standing there with me too, but except for a sideways glance of her red hair don't remember seeing her either.
I apologize for the long first post, but if you've come this far, thank you for reading! :} I look forward to hearing what you think, and will answer absolutely any questions!
