Hey! This is my first post on here, so I'll try to do my best based on the Dream Interpretation guidelines.
A little bit about myself: I'm a twenty-something male, American, English teacher. I arrived in Russia a few months ago. My dream life has become a little more stimulated since arriving in Russia, so I think it would be a good idea to try to explore this part of myself a little more. I recently graduated from university in the states. I studied philosophy. I've been interested in questions concerning personal identity for quite some time, but I haven't really explored the connections between this and dreams. Anywho, I'll give a little info about last night/recent events. Maybe that will give a little context to the dream? I'm not sure.
When I was a little younger, love and relationships were the main focus of my life. Over the past couple of years, I've tried to focus more on other goals rather than the often times unstable endeavor of love. Somewhat ironically, this shift in priority has left my love life often times filled with uncertainty, emotional pain (inflicted on myself and others), and scarred friendships. However, since being in Russia, this hasn't seemed to be a problem...yet. I'm hoping for the best here I guess. But I can't help but see myself falling into patterns that I repeatedly fell into back home. ANYWAYS, this does relate somehow, I swear.
So, 'tis the season in Russia. In the states as well. I was one of the few (actually the only in my group of friends) to stay in Russia for the holidays. This left me spending the past week mostly with strangers. I decided last night, to hell with my pride: I'm going to go to the bar by myself. (Side note: the girl I have been seeing is out of town for the week). I saw a girl I met a few weeks ago. One thing led to another. We didn't spend the night together, but mutual feelings were exchanged. At any rate, I can't help but feel that this may have been the cause of my intensified dreaming. Also, my sleep has been completely out of whack. The sun is only out from 10:30am-4:30pm, and it's usually dark and cloudy. Because of this, my sleeping patterns are not anywhere close to what they used to be. So, last night I only slept from 5:30am-8:30am, when I awoke from this dream, and couldn't fall back asleep. I wrote about it when I woke up, before I found this site. So I'll just paste what I wrote, and add in any details that seem necessary.
I was in a large building. The air felt very thin. People were passing by and I was moving from room to room without ever actually moving my feet. My aunt was there (I ran into her in one of the rooms), and she was very upset with me. I’m not sure what about, but she was threatening to never speak to me again. I think she was packing a suitcase, or re-arranging some things on a bed. When I looked at her face, I saw my grandmother. And quickly, her face changed into that of my mother’s. I made a quick apology. I don’t think I actually said anything, but my shame was assumed. Then I realized I was dreaming. All I could remember from my waking life was one of my students, Alexander, saying so calm and collectedly in his kitchen, “if you ever find yourself aware that you are in a dream, look at the palms of your hands.” So I did just this. But as soon as I looked down, my aunt was introducing me to a young girl in a white gown. My aunt said, “look at her. She is always looking at her hands, but she’s always looking away.” I looked at the girl, and she didn’t really have a face. I heard another voice say, “she talks to you without ever making a sound, and she never looks you in the eye.” My body disappeared, and I started floating around the building. The young girl was with me, but not physically by my side. I could feel that she was flipping her hands back and forth, palm-up, palm-down, at an extremely fast rate. I can’t remember what she said to me, but it pushed me out of the dream. (The more I think about what she said, the more I think I distort what I actually dreamt. So, I'll just leave it at that) I jolted in my bed, and looked up at the coat hanger at the foot of my bed. It always looms over me while I sleep, and I always think it’s a person. The other night I thought that it was a tall nun. This morning I thought it was a man dressed in all black.
[I rarely see my aunt (one of 7). I have never, that I can remember, been in a confrontation with her. I was close with my grandmother. She passed away 3 years ago. I am close to my mother, and we have a good relationship. I didn't recognize this girl from anywhere. I mean, she didn't have a face. She was just wearing a white gown. It was kind of shabby. She had to have been 6 or 7. The coat hanger thing may or may not be relevant. It just always plays tricks on me when I wake up.]
If anyone took the time to read this, thank you. I've never really written about myself online to strangers, so this is new to me. It seems really easy to ramble on for a while, but I tried to include anything that may be useful. Thanks!
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