Confusing dreams about giving birth (I'm male!)

[ReluctantLondon]

[I know I've still yet to respond to the responses to the first thread I began… :/ ] I'll begin by writing that I'm male, heterosexual, in my thirties, English, and have not – yet..? – been able to become good enough to even date. I've read that dreams about giving birth are often associated with new ideas- and/or new beginnings-, but I've recently had several dreams about giving birth that have left me a little confused – so, as far as I'm able to remember… In all the dreams I'm female, although I couldn't describe myself, besides being younger than my actual age (in one of the dreams I was young enough that I was still in secondary school o_O ) I think that the major common element to the dreams is that the birth is difficult if I'm in the "traditional" birthing position (I don't know if it has a name, but the "missionary" sexual position, more-or-less): in one dream, for example, the birth became easy as soon as I made to minor change to assume an asymmetrical position (I lowered one leg); in another dream, for example, the birth became easy as soon as I assumed the "doggy" sexual position, more-or-less. The birth then leaves me feeling mostly proud, but with a bizarre desire to do it again o_O I couldn't describe the babies – not even their gender. In all the dreams I've a male partner who assists with the birth, although I couldn't describe them; and I feel a little like I'm taking advantage of them – I'm useful to them in their day-to-day life, and I'm giving them companionship and sex, but I value them more for their being able to father children than I do as a person.

[Sivason]

Could be a comboof feeling like you yourself would like to father a family, but have no dating in your life, and a feeling of negativity towards woman, feeling that in order to have your family you must 'offer' tangible benefits to the woman.

[ReluctantLondon]

@sivason Thank you for your thoughts To clarify, the element of the dreams that are confusing to me are the births being difficult if I'm in the "traditional" birthing position, and easy if I'm not. I don't know if I'd want to father a family – but I do wish I were good enough (and am at least trying to become better )that I could/could have the opportunity to, so you're correct that I do think that I'd have to become better to offer something to a girl for her to want me to be her friend/date/lover/mate. And to clarify further, whilst I'm a "incel", I don't hate girls – my hatred is reserved for myself for not being good enough for any girl ;P

[Sivason]

You must feel certain things are holding you back from that. It sounds like low confidence and self judgement.In what way are you not good enough (temper control, weight, low IQ, you know the kind of stuff)?

[ReluctantLondon]

@sivason Well, it's not only my judgement that I'm not good enough for a girl – whilst in the past I generally made friends with girls easily, I was always told by my family and friends that I wasn't good enough to date or anything akin to that and, indeed, I never met a girl who wanted me as anything more than a friend. The ways in which I'm not good enough are (too…) many, and myriad, but a (likely abridged…) list is that: * I'm poor; * I'm unintelligent and uneducated/unqualified; * I'm not sufficiently social and/or outgoing; * I'm not sufficiently good-looking – I'm fit, but it's possible to be both fit and ugly * I'm (kind of…) a "nerd", so I'm uninteresting, shy, quiet, and awkward; * I don't have a temper, so I don't have any problems controlling it – instead, for good and for ill, I've been habituated to not express (and often to not feel) any passion, negative or positive – to the extent that years ago a teacher of mine accused me of using drugs because of my indifferent attitude – and to not be spontaneous; * I'm almost wholly ignorant – and am wholly inexperienced – of dating and anything akin to that – I've never gone on a date/held hands/kissed/had sex/et cetera.

[Sivason]

that is all valid to some degree. I think much of that does not matter so much, except for the 'wholly ignorant' part. There is a certain way guys go about getting girls, and it is not easy to learn. Those skills are far more important than money, looks, or intellect. Sounds like your family and friends are not at all supportive.

[ReluctantLondon]

@sivason Hehehe, I'm not interested in the slightest in learning to become a PUA(rsehole), if you'll please pardon my language ;P And just because my family and friends aren't supportive doesn't mean that they're wrong – as I've written, I'm also well-aware that I'd be a bad date and a worse boyfriend/lover/partner, and that I'm kind of a creep for having those kind of desires :/

[Lang]

A desire of a family, doesn't everyone? We accept the love we think we deserve. Honestly, we have no idea what we want until we try. I mean People with low self-esteem think no one cares about them when in reality they just can't accept the love of those who do because it feels undeserved and surreal. We tend to gravitate towards people that treat us similarly to how we treat ourselves. If we think little of our own worth, we find people that treat us accordingly. It all boils down to our CHOICE that is in turn determined by the self-worth we attach with ourselves. We all do it at some points in our lives. Good luck with someone you desire.