Two very different dreams about my hands in the same night. Both were very vivid and emotional.

I'd like to start by explaining the relationships I have with the three people in these dreams. First, my boyfriend of 8 months. We live two hours apart, but have been doing quite well until the past 3 weeks or so. I suppose the distance and constant long drives just for a visit, are really starting to take a toll on us emotionally. But we are still taking things slow and communicating very well. Second, my ex-husband. We have a wonderful relationship. There is no negativity about our divorce, and we work perfectly raising our 3 year old together. Third, my ex-boyfriend from 7 years ago. He was a very emotionally abusive and neglectful person. I've had no contact with him in almost 5 years.

The first dream really stood out to me.... I was sitting at a picnic table with my boyfriend, when I noticed two brown spiders crawling by my right hand. My hand lay palm down on the table and the spiders stopped just before touching my hand. I had no fear of them at all. I noticed they were doing something that looked almost like a dance with their attention focused on my hand. It was amusing and made me feel comforted, yet confused as to why they were "dancing". My boyfriend then told me to move because he thought they would bite me. I couldn't understand why he was telling me to be careful when I felt so safe. I reassured him that they meant no harm. After that the spiders disappeared. I looked down at the side of my hand below my pinky finger and realized I had two very deep holes and swelling. My boyfriend also had a bite on his left hand, although the spiders never touched us. I was shocked and felt almost betrayed by these spiders who made me feel safe (as crazy as that sounds). That was the end of that dream.


The second dream was experienced the same night, which is why I'd really like to get some sort of answer as to what these could mean. It started with me opening a little box which held two rings. One was my engagement ring from my ex-husband, only it was brighter and looked like it was almost glowing. The other was the ring that my ex-boyfriend proposed with 7 years ago, only it actually wasn't. For some reason in my dream I just "knew" that it was the same ring. I placed the ring from my ex-husband on my right ring finger, and then placed the other ring on my left ring finger. The ring I placed on my left hand wouldn't go past my knuckle, and started to grow into a gold vine which delicately wrapped around my finger from my knuckle to the tip of my finger, and back towards my palm. That was the end of it.

Any help interpreting what these could mean would be greatly appreciated.

Dream #1: Eating at a picnic table would reflect the idea of having satisfaction from food for thought that is being seen realistically, since this would be an outdoor scene. Here you see yourself doing this when using the perspective of your boyfriend or using your thinking pertaining to this boyfriend and the relationship.

The spiders represent an emotional aspect of your own nature which enable you to be self-deceiving. Here such a feeling/idea is seen as negative and wrong (2 spiders) but also as having some practicality. (brown) {This would suggest that you are feeling that you are “not” deceiving yourself about a current relationship and this seems to be a practical feeling at the moment. But, at the same time you could be thinking that this feeling is a wrong one. There are split feelings about the possibility of deceiving yourself.}

The right hand represents those acts and deeds that are correct. The hand being palm down on the table, would imply not being receptive to a feeling of not having the ability to deceive yourself where this could pertain to the things you do or have done. As the 2 spiders stop just before touching your hand, it would suggest that while you may not “feel” the reality of there being no possible self deception you consciously have no fear of such a possibility.

The spiders “dancing” can imply that any feeling of self deception pertains to the “mating dance” or mating ritual. Using the perspective of your boyfriend, you may need to tell yourself to be careful where you have a wrong idea about self deceptive feelings; that a negative or wrong feeling about the possibility of deceiving yourself might not be working in your favour. (he thought they would bite me) Because you feel quite safe from any self deception (as you feel you are NOT deceiving yourself) you feel reassured that you cannot be harmed by such feelings.

Because you later find that you have been bitten, though not consciously aware of this happening, it shows that having a wrong idea about the possibility of deceiving yourself on a subconscious level (a subconscious level is implied by an animal image) is not working in your favour. A wrong feeling about the possibility of deceiving yourself is not working for you nor for your boyfriend. It may be shocking but your feelings can betray you on a subconscious level. [The problem here is that when you focus on feeling that you are not deceiving yourself, it involves fighting against the possibility that, “yes, I could be deceiving myself”. If you were truly certain of the relationship, the issue of self deception would not even arise. The split feelings are hurting you both on an emotional level. It is not the distance between you in this case that is your problem, but rather your own uncertainty about the relationship. Your split feelings are affecting and hurting your boyfriend by giving him a subconscious sense that his actions could be wrong. (he is bitten on the left hand)]

First of all I disagree with ElizVanZee's statement that "the right hand represents acts and deeds that are correct." As a left handed person I strongly object to this right handed person bias which unfortunately is quite common but luckily not universal. With rings it actually depends on the religious denomination and culture on which hand is the correct hand for rings, but in many traditions the left hand is the correct hand to wear a ring.

I think the two dreams likely mean that you are thinking about relationships, which makes sense given what you told us about how your relationship with your boyfriend is suffering probably due to the long drive. The spiders could be a representation of your feelings about your relationship: it makes you feel safe and comforted and happy. However, perhaps you perceive that not all is well, and that there is something to worry about. Perhaps you are worried that your boyfriend does not find the same comfort in this relationship, and yet you find this a betrayal of your own feeling of safety in this relationship. You want to be safe and comforted in it, but think that it is actually not as secure as you had hoped.

The second dream: it is only natural when you are evaluating your current relationship to also recall your previous relationships and how they became a part of who you are now. Do I understand correctly that the ring that turned into the vine was from the abusive relationship? This would make sense since just like a ring turning into a vine is not natural and takes you over way more than expected and comfortable, that's what the abusive relationship was like, and it still continues to influence in someway who you are and how you perceive relationships.

The abusive relationship may also have caused you to not be as comfortable with relationships as you would like to be, you may have trust issues (it would be expected if you did - I know I would if I were you). So even though you'd like to find those spiders amusing and comfortable, part of you expects to be bitten of course, as you have been bitten before. And you may not be as comfortable putting a ring on your finger any more because you expect that it may smother you and take you over too much like a vine or you may expect it to break up like a divorce. Rings may not be safe for you any more, not as safe as they used to be before those two relationships which did not work out.

How does that sound? If it feels wrong, please ignore. Remember that ultimately the best interpretation of your own dream would come from you / needs to feel right to you.