Almost Cheating...

**bigdave** · 04-28-2013 12:35 PM

Thanks for any replies in advance..

I started the dream in a room which I felt was a friends house. I'm talking to an old friend who when I was much younger had a bit of a crush on. We start talking about relationships and other sex related topics and after a while we start flirting with each other. I feel like I want it but know I can't due to having a girlfriend. (I have this girlfriend in real life and also in the dream). Throughout this time no moves are made and nothing is done about it. However there is a large amount of people staying in this house so we end up sharing a bed. After some time talking in bed the girl tells me how she always liked me and we start to kiss. I feel like I really want it but know it will have to stop soon. I then remember or realise that my girlfriend is in a room across the landing to me. After kissing for a while the girl tries to make things more sexual and I say something simliar to "I'm really sorry but I have a girlfriend". She then stops and I still feel like I really want it to happen. She then stands up and says "why won't you have sex with me?" As she says this I see my girlfriends shadow move across the landing in the other room. After this the girl leaves the room to talk to friends and shortly afterwards I follow. She seemed to be talking about what happened to a group who I felt like I know but only vaguely as acquaintances. They say that its a bad idea if we sleep in the same room and that I should sleep somewhere else. I felt almost down heartened about this however I knew that in the dream I still loved my girlfriend. I then think that I should go to my girlfriends room to sleep and here it gets a bit vague. On the way to my girlfriends room I start to follow one of my old friends who was a very good friend (as in one of my best friends in childhood). I follow for a while as he goes very quickly through corridors until we end up in some sort of shopping center which feels like a market in Africa (with street sellers etc.) but in a very modern building. He seems to be going to work as he is in a suit and tie plus he also seems like he is in a rush. He starts to quicken (not running but as if its in fast forward) and I struggle to keep up. I feel at this one moment that there is just one thing that I need to do and that is to keep up with him.

A bit of background, to start with I really feel like I love my girlfriend in real life and in dreams. I have had dreams about almost fully cheating on at least 5 occasions within the last 6 months. We are quite young, separated by a school year however I'm 20 and she is 18. We often talk about the future and how one day we will settle down and have kids etc. (talks of our dream house and what we will buy) We currently go to University in the UK but live approximately 3 hours apart and due to cost and difficulty of seeing each other we visit every 3 or 4 weeks and see each other lots in holidays. For the second part so to speak, I still vaguely know this old friend (would say hi on the street and maybe have a chat but nothing more than that) My life is going pretty well and I am proud of what I have achieved etc. I don't see this guy as being particularly successful which I assume would be the obvious thing to gain from this. (not sure any help would be appreciated!)

Was really wondering what the first bit (which is recurring unlike the second bit) means and whether there is any reason to have these dreams lead into each other?

Thanks, any more details can be given if need

**Phased** · 04-28-2013 12:44 PM

I have often found that dreams relating to cheating on someone that you feel really strongly about has nothing to do with the relationship or your feelings going away, it's more about you then anything else. To me it is usually these dreams that are indicating a bit of self guilt or something similar. So, have you done something you feel bad about lately? (Not necisceraly relating to your girlfriend.) if so, make it right, it may just fix your problems about these dreams.

**JoannaB** · 04-28-2013 01:05 PM

I am happily married. One of the worst nightmare's for me has been that I had a dream of asking a coworker of mine out on a date. I had this dream while my husband was away on a business trip. It was not a nightmare while it lasted, but I cursed myself when I woke up. Things I realized later on when analyzing this dream: part of the reason I had it was because I was lonely with my husband out of town missing him, I realized that there was no way I would cheat on my husband in real life, however I did realize that I did have a bit of a secret crush on this coworker finding him attractive - now I would never act on it, and I am embarrassed by it, and wish I could not consider him attractive but we are human and cannot control all our subconscious. I mostly decided not to be too hard on myself after all, and to concentrate on the fact that I love my husband and would never consciously be unfaithful.

**warriorof** · 04-28-2013 09:15 PM

I can relate, when I was with my ex (been together for almost 5 years) I had dreams of being with girls I've had attraction for. I never acted on them, and I never would have. These came from my loneliness, as there where nights she'd work late and I hardly ever got to see her. When she was becoming more distant from me emotionally towards the end of our relationship these dreams became more frequent. You may be going through the same thing, like JoannaB said, but I'm not implying you are having any trouble emotional with her.

As for you being in the friends house, this may represent your need for familiarity (perhaps you are very busy at school right now). Talking to your former crush and still having feelings for her means you may be desiring more intimacy in your life. The crush may be just a filler character in your dream, because you may still have feelings for her. (Nothing wrong with that as long as you don't act on it

) She would be the 2nd person you would think about next to your GF, as you may not know other girls to take this spot. It may also be your subconscious way of telling you "hey! I'm lonely!" and presenting another option for you. The subconscious solves problems irrationally, so this doesn't mean anything significant in real life.

Getting into bed with her emphasizes your need for intimately. Rejecting your crush's advances is your way of solidifying your relationship with your GF. Relationships often go through test to see if we can be with the person we're with, and because you don't see her very often this is your subconscious way of testing the mettle of your relationship. Your GF watching you represents guilt for having these feelings for your crush (I've felt guilty for having crush dreams when I was with my ex).

When you tried to go to your GF's room and ended up following your old friend this can represent your need to "catch up" with people you used to hang out with. Being young and in a steady relationship can sometimes make it hard to have a social life, especially if your attending college. The shopping center in Africa might be lit for "bizarre" as in "a strange thing" because you may feel like life is getting more strange as you grow older. The friend having a business suit and always being ahead of you is your anxiety about not being successful. You stated you don't feel he is as successful as you, so perhaps you are having trouble keeping up with studies. You don't want to end up like him! lol

By putting all of these things together, I can assess that you are still young and have a long (hopefully) life ahead of you. Some things in your life you may be having doubts about, and you don't want to make any wrong decisions. Over all, you are balancing relationship with work, and college has its fair share of temptations. Just do what you feel is right, and you'll make things work. Don't chase after whats flashy, but go after what is sincere in your heart. That's the key to happiness in my opinion. But remember not to stretch yourself too far, and don't go too far out of your way to please people if it affects your performance in life (Speaking from experience). I hope that helps.