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    Thread: I'm throwing up and the boss says: "We need you as you are"

    1. #1
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      I'm throwing up and the boss says: "We need you as you are"

      I had a dream the other night that made a big impression on me; I felt that it was an important message but of course I really can't read it. What's puzzling is that the dream appears at this point in time, I would not have been puzzled (in the same way) had it appeared a couple of years ago. If anybody could share some thoughts for me to work with I would be thankful.

      The dream
      It’s at work, but it looks nothing like it. I walk in a corridor with something disgusting in my mouth; it makes me nauseated. I’m walking fast to get to some place where I can spit it out.
      I meet my boss. He follows me, there is something he wants to tell me; as always he is in a good mood. I try to show him that I’m in a hurry and can’t talk right now, but he keeps following me closely through the corridor. I turn left and left again. There’s a room here, quite ordinary, as for workers rather than for clerks (I work at an office). I would have preferred a toilet but can’t hold it back any more. I spit it out and then I throw up.
      I’m on the inside of the doorstep and my boss on the outside. I try to puke in a black thing that looks like a vase to not make a too big of a mess. (The vomit is almost like water and puking is in itself not too disgusting.)
      I’m down on my knees while doing this, and my boss is squatting in front of me. He says nothing, seems not to care about me puking, rather makes a funny remark that I missed the vase a little there. This feels very supportive.
      When I’m done he puts his hands on my shoulders, leans forwards and says very low and sincere:
      “Do not change ... we need you like you are.”
      We rise. Once again, he is in a great mood as he usually is, with his suit on as always. I feel a little better, but need to throw up once more. I see my winter shoe, which I didn’t have on me but which apparently is here, in the vomit. I take it out of there. I throw up once more. (It is not as disgusting or sickening as it sounds, more like turning on and off a tap.)
      We sit at the table in this room. I write this dream down in my notepad. A colleague of mine comes in and sits down here. She is a young, nice and not unattractive woman. She is also happy, because she has just found out that she is pregnant. She says that she has been a little nauseous.
      ”Talking about nauseous”, I smile, and take a few steps into the room, throw up a little, and walks back to the table where I sit down again with my notepad. I see into the other room that two of my colleagues sit there in a sofa; once again it looks like a place where workers have their coffee breaks, rather than an office place.
      There’s a thought that this room might be my office, that I can work here. That would be great, I would get a lot done here.

      Some general remarks
      I’m in the middle of a career change which I’m very happy about. My new boss (the one in the dream is the one in real life) is great and the colleagues too. I really feel that this is a step in the right direction for me. I would say that I have a mostly uncomplicated attitude towards the new demands and generally feel comfortable with my position right now. It's nonetheless a bit of a challenge because I need to develop new skills and use parts of my personality I haven't had the need to use before, so to speak.
      This dream made a big impression on me. The words from my boss especially felt very important, and also very surprising because I do not feel that I’m changing myself right now, as I did a couple of years ago. I'm also puzzled by the "we need you as you are", that that is the reason not to change.
      The last three or four years I’ve gone through changes, certain conditions at work forced me to take a look at myself and I discovered important things about my own psychology, regarding identity in particular. So I’ve gone through changes and grown as a person. But I feel that that is a process that is behind me (temporarily) and therefore my boss’s words at this point in time is very surprising.

      Associations
      At work for me, when the job place in the dream is nothing like the real work place, has a meaning of “inner work”. (And so the room is an "inner room", I get to it by turning left repeatedly.)

      Having something disgusting in the mouth and throwing up means that there’s something in my body I can’t swallow, that I can’t digest.

      My boss is at the same age as me, he is from another background than me, a good leader, a mentor, always in a good mood; I like him and I trust him.

      To me “change” is something good; to go through changes is to grow, and to grow is to change. The last years I’ve changed, grown, through my experiences at work together with my inner work. I do not feel, however, that I’m going through changes right now, nor that I am trying to.

      My winter shoe: When I changed direction in my career last year, I got some new clothes to better fit in the new role, for instance the shoe(s) in the dream. Being able to buy the clothes I needed was a fine experience, and I was very happy about the shoes, not the least since I got a very good price.

      Writing down the dream. Of course, I do this in real life, and I usually use a notepad like the one in the dream when I can’t or won’t use a computer, for instance on the commuter.

      The colleague is a nice, young woman who I’ve worked with a little bit in my new position. She doesn’t have children in real life. She once expressed admiration for my general knowledge, which made me a little embarrassed.

      Pregnancy is the beginning of something new; a seed is planted and one day something extraordinary will grow from it.

      The workers’ place. I have a working class background and my young adult life was a bit troublesome. In my later professional life I have felt the need to hide that; these days I work in an upper middle class environment. The room reminds me of my background.

      Thanks for taking time reading, please don't hesitate to throw out some ideas.

    2. #2
      Member warriorof's Avatar
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      *brushes hands together* Well looks like my job is done. lol jk.

      In the dream, when you got to work you had a bad taste in your mouth. This may mean that there is something foul that you want to say in real life, but you may not want to. From what you've told us you indicated you had a interesting young adult life. Perhaps you feel that because you are hiding your past from everyone you feel the need to vent. Maybe everyone at work talks about what they did when they were 20, for example, and when they ask you you hold back. When you are seeking a bathroom and your boss is following you, you may be picking up on the vibes that everyone is trying to catch up with you. This is dream ad-libs for "lets catch up on getting to know you," and because your boss seems like a nice guy you may have noticed he is trying to get on a more personal level like he has with the rest of his employees, perhaps. However, you are escaping because you don't want to tell everyone your past.

      Vomiting can mean that you are projecting the feelings from inside of you, and it flows like water. Ever start talking to someone and you just can't stop speaking? The words flow like water, and you are doing this in the dream. The black vase is a container for your thoughts. Black is a color is mystery, new beginnings, and the unknown. This is true because you don't know what everyone will think if you were more honest about your past. Your boss bending down and saying he accepts you may be your subconscious picking up on the nonjudgmental aspects of your boss. He may know about your past (back ground checks) or may not even care because he knows you are a productive employee. Basically, he doesn't want you to be fake, but to be yourself at work. When he makes the silly remark about the vomit this may mean that he may feel your monkey shines are just insignificant, and your subconscious may be picking up on that, too. Winter shoes, if they are designed for snow treading, can mean that you'll feel refreshed from speaking your mind, and the shoes will allow you to cross over into a new aspect of your work life. Seasons of the year are transitions, so this is fitting.

      You are writing this dream down, perhaps you are aware you are dreaming, and your sub is telling you to record it for future reference. Seeing someone who is pregnant means you may be feeling a closer bond to this person. The woman you speak of may be a person that has made the most effort to get to know you, and you may feel that you can tell her a bit more than some about your past. If that is true be careful not to tell her conflicting information than what you've told others, because this may cause some mistrust with your coworkers. Seeing the coworkers on the sofa in the office you like reconfirms my affirmation that you are withholding the past from your coworkers. Everyone else at work may be closer and are more comfortable with telling their stories. You want to be part of that, but you are holding back.

      Overall, you may be holding back too much of yourself at work. Overtime, you may have picked up on the attempts of others to get to know you better, but you are holding back. However, you may be feeling the flood gates beginning to open and you won't be able to hold back much longer. Seems everyone at your job is good natured, and may not care that much about your history: they may even get a chuckle out of it. I know about undesirable past. I gave up a chance for a 4 year university 5 years ago, and I've always regretted it. However, I'm getting back on my feet and going for it again. I've always did things I've regretted in the past that have actually helped me get closer to people now. Don't discount the human ability to forgive. My advice would be to reveal minor and consistent details about yourself to those who ask, and be yourself in a respectable manner. If all goes well build up from there. Don't hold back your feelings if you feel so inclined to hold back, especially if the attitude at work is friendly. Just don't tell ridiculously personal info.
      Last edited by warriorof; 05-19-2013 at 07:03 PM.
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    3. #3
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      Hi....I have a couple of thoughts to add about the dream.
      Hallways or corridors represent a Transition time in our state of consciousness. Here while you are making this transition (mentally) you feel something disgusting in your mouth. I see this dream much like a bathroom dream...we have them when we are making good progress in our evolvement. In bathroom dreams we Release, Refresh and Let Go of things that no longer serve us. In the first part of the dream you must have been holding thoughts (thoughts are things) that you were personally embarrassed to know you felt or thought that way, but you've evolved and need to get that OUT of your consciousness. Your Boss (or your Higher Self) is watching over you, checking this progress. Remember that dreams can also represent the near future, so although you went thru a period of self work and progress, maybe there is more to come. The part about making a left turn and then another could suggest that at some point either in the past (if you feel the dream is more about the past) you got sidetracked, a couple of times but after that find yourself At The Doorstep, suggesting that you are at a point of New Opportunities. But perhaps you must let go of the past and all things negative,negative emotions, cleanse yourself of it, to move forward. The vomit being more like water could say that it was Emotional baggage that you were holding on to, and you found yourself at a time and place where you HAD to let it all go. The Boss telling you "we want you just like you are" is the Higher Self telling you, Spirit loves you just as you are and is happy with you being you and just be yourself always. Seeing the Winter Shoe.....shoes represent our careers , winter of course a time of frozen things...so that is letting go of the old position you once held as it is the past. The pregnant woman representing an aspect of yourself, the feminine , the receptive, giving birth to the new you, a new part of life. going into the room and approving thinking you could get work done there, means all in all, you are in a good place, happy with self and happy to know you will keep working on self to improve.
      Really a good dream...kinda a report card type telling you that you are doing great and making progress on your path.
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    4. #4
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      To me the boss saying "we need you the way you are" after you threw up may be a sign that you feel you are valued, that your work is important and appreciated, and that even when you are not doing so well your boss understands that you are needed there, that you cannot take time off from work now because you would be missed too much. Perhaps also a reminder that at this time in your new job you cannot take sick leave easily?

      Another thought: sometimes people throw up because of nerves like stage freight, maybe you are nervous about doing well in new job? Nervous about screwing it up because you are still new and making mistakes? And in your dream your boss (who is really just another part of you) reassures you that you are doing ok, you are needed the way you are, don't worry about being new and making mistakes - that's understood and expected at this stage.
      Last edited by JoannaB; 05-20-2013 at 02:21 AM.
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    5. #5
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      Wow, guys, thank your for your thoughts -- quite a few of them brilliant! Funny thing with dreams, what is hidden from you is sometimes obvious to others! There are a couple of eye openers here, for sure. I'll take a step back right now sincerely with this wow (or omg) feeling, and in a couple of days I'll return to your comments to digest them* properly. I appreciate your input very much.

      * See what I did here?
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