Falling in Ocean to Save my son...

Many years ago I had a dream that I had died in a car accident. I posted my dream in a forum like this and a woman not only interpreted my dream, but told me things about myself that I never mentioned. I had a fear of dying in a car accident for many years but what she told me cured me completely. It was amazing.

I recently had another dream that has scared me to pieces and was hoping for some insight on this as well.

I have two boys, a 2.5 yr old and a 5 year old.

In my dream, I am sitting on a pier overlooking the vast blue ocean. The lighting in the dream made it seem as if it were right before sundown. No sunset could be seen, the the sky was bright with a greyish cast. The ocean was cobalt blue. I was sitting on the pier with my feet dangling off the side where the railing had a small opening, and a ladder went down into the water. My youngest son is to my right, and (not at all out of character) starts to play around and swing by one arm around the railing. He is dangling over the water, hanging on with one hand to the railing when I tell him to stop because he could fall in. He slipped, but was close enough to me where I could wrap my arm around his waist and pull him on my lap. My older son (who is always in competition with the little one) goes to the railing and starts to do the same thing. He is normally much more cautious, but he wont hesitate to copy his brother if he thinks it will get him attention. I told him to stop playing on the railing because he could fall in and he cant swim. He ignores me, dangles with one hand on the railing over the water...looks at me and smiles, and lets go. I see him falling many feet and I immediately jump in after him, with my little one still in my arms. He hits the water, I'm right after him. We both fall through the water as fast as we are falling through air, and all I can think is I have to save him. He is about 3 feet out of my reach. He is looked at me, terrified. I try to reach for him, but when I do, the little one starts to slip from my arms because the force of the water is so great. I have to hold him with two hands to keep him from flying out of my arms. I keep trying to reach for my oldest, but the little one slips every time. We are falling so fast, Im terrified we will go to deep and we wont have breath to make it back to the surface. I reach my hand one more time, I cant reach him. The little one slips..I grab him tight again. I look at my oldest and I can see on his face he's just realized what he's done. Terror washes over his face and he screams "MOMMY!!!!"

I woke up. Nearly in tears. I have had dreams of my boys drowning or choking before because they can't swim, and when they were both about a year old they would eat like they are starving and shove entire sandwhiches in their mouths instead of taking bites. I even had to dislodge a while strawberry from my youngest's throat because he tried to swallow the entire thing instead of taking a bite like I expected. This dream was different though. Much different. The look on my son's face when he realized I could not save him has haunted me for the last two weeks. I have found it hard to get it out of my mind, and have to distract myself at night so that I can fall asleep.

Any thoughts on this at all? Input would be much appreciated. Through my research Im just not finding much.

Your older son is 5 years old. Is he starting kindergarten this fall? If so, this may be in part what this dream is about I think. Sometimes as mothers we fear letting our kids go, we worry that letting them out of our sight will put them in harm's way, and we won't be there to protect them. But part of letting our kids grow up, involves letting them go gradually, into a deep world where we will not always be able to save them from everything because they need to learn independence. And that is at times as scary for them as it is for us, but we need to trust that they will be safe even if they are not within our arms' reach at all times. I think in your dream your son only starts to be afraid when he sees the fear in your eyes. I too have two small boys though one of mine is in elementary school already, and I have been told that on first day of school it is our task as parents to not show our concern, so that we do not exacerbate the fear of our kids.

Of course, this may not be what your dream was about at all, just one possible interpretation given the timing of this dream and your older son's age.