Twist on recurring dream

Hello everyone.
So when i was around 4 years old my parents got divorced. And on the court was decided that I should live with my dad because my mum was incapable of
taking care of me. But since he was in the army I was living with my mum and grandma at that time. And I remember that it was kinda weird since they didn't really take good care of me. So for example on one occasion i ran out of the building naked and was running around the neighbourhood. One time I got on top of the closet and started making a huge hole in a wall with a hammer and noone stopped me. Though I am not a troubled person, I was always very good student of a great behaviour and so on. But at that time i did a lot of crap like that. Those memories from that part of my life dont really bother me, they never did.
Only thing is I had this recurring dream where I go to that building where I used to live with my mum and grandma. It's always night and I always have pretty hard feelings of sad nature, but really easily explainable. So i go to the entrance of the building and there is always some yellow light/lamp that i always notice. I dont know what that means, it doesnt make me feel in any particular way. Then i go inside the building to the floor where i lived and where my mum and grandma should still live. But then it's always something like this. Either they're not there, and i dont know where did they go. Or i see bunch of boxes and some workers who tell me that they moved out, but i cant find them, or sth like that. That usually makes me feel very bad. Then i go outside and i dont really know what happens then, i think dreams usually end there.
So this time, I had the dream that started of exactly the same as those recurring dreams, except, this time i was like a guide, i was leading some person through that dream and i was explaining to him everything thats happening in a dream, and telling him how it's always like that e.g."And here is always this light on the entrance...". I dont know who the person i was leading was. Then we go inside the flat where there should be no mum or grandma, but this time they are here. And i first notice grandma, but she soon transforms into some big creature, I was very scared, bunch of mixed emotions here, then we started fighting. I managed to defeat her and i was happy about that. I killed her. Then i saw my mum. She also transformed into some creature, except she was much much stronger then grandma. I was fighting her and i think i managed to defeat her, but then she transformed into another creature, it had glowing eyes, and it was putting its hand towards me smiling. I was scared. I dont remember what happened after that. I think I woke up.
So anyway, if anyone knows what this dream might mean please, please help. It's been bothering me for couple of days now.
Also if there are some more details you would like to know that i might missed please ask, i would happily write them down for you.
Thanks in advance!

I am thinking that the reason why your mother and grandmother usually are not there in this recurring dream is because you feel that they were not there for you or not there enough when you needed them, and you feel bad about that. But maybe in the current dream they got transformed into monsters that you have to fight because maybe your mind is asking you, something like: So you blame your mom and grandma for not being there for you when you were a kid, but does this make them monsters in your mind? Now remember dreams exaggerate, so when your dream says monsters it does not literally mean monsters, but rather it may mean bad people or bad parents. The dream may also be asking you whether your memories of how little attention your mom and grandma paid to you are accurate and fair to them or whether your memories are vilifying them to some extent, whether your memories are exaggerated. And before you say "of course not", consider that two people remembering the same event will tell it differently. Have you talked with your mother and grandmother about your childhood? Are they still alive, and if so, can you contact them and talk about this time? You may be surprised when you hear their side of the story.

Stories like this are never one sided, and there is always a different way of looking at what happened, who is to blame and how much and for what., and even whether it is right to blame or better to understand the other's point of view even if that is at times very difficult. When my parents divorced, I hated my mother. Years later, I am much closer to her now then I used to be. I am still not fully comfortable with the divorce of course, but I can understand my mother's point of view better now. Also for years I used to think that I was not like my mother at all, and it is only recently that I have started to admit to myself in how many ways I am my mother's daughter. Family is often complicated.

While I do not know what the light in your dream represents, as a Christian myself I cannot help but think of light in a spiritual sense. We have a song for kids that goes like this "This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine." And I think it is about goodness and hope, about children being a light for others to see and feel better about life through them, about everyone being called upon to be a light for others - to help others see/understand/love better - and this applies to everyone including kids and adults, and it's about being a good example and having a loving soul, or about enlightenment. Even if you are not a Christian, maybe thinking about it that way will help you as well.

Of course, if what I wrote does not sound right to you, please feel free to discard these ideas and look for different ones.