Best friend repeatedly in dreams.

I was recently talking to my close and actually my best friend who is of the opposite gender. During our video chat she told me that I'm usually in her dreams. She thinks it could be because I am her best and close friend aswell, but I think there is something else there. What do you guys think about a close or best friend repeatedly being in your dreams, especially when they are of the opposite gender. I've asked her for examples of dreams that she's had that I've been in to get a full understanding. But again, I think there is something deeper. What do you think? I should know some examples later today.

I'd say she's crushing for sure! I had a dream about an opposite gender friend in college. We were lab partners and occasionally chitchatted. Then one night I had a dream about him, just his face that's all. So I jumped on that and we dated for like 2 years haha. I really loved him, but then we ended up going to college in two different states.

Anyway, that's my 2 cents. Moving this thread to Dream Interpretation so you can get more answers!

One of my favorite romantic comedies "When Harry Met Sally" includes the claim the men and women can't be friends because the sex thing always gets in between. That's what Harry says. Sally responds that she has plenty of male friends. He says that she only think she does. She says are you saying I am having sex with these men without my knowledge? He says no, they all secretly want to have sex with you.

Now, I would say that is a bit exaggerated but there is something to that that friendship between heterosexuals if opposite genders has some potential to develop into something other than friendship. Now there are of course extenuating circumstances, and there may be reasons why it does not or should not, but the tension is likely there if at least one of the friends finds the other attractive.

That said, I think one can also dream about people one knows for other reasons, they are on one's mind for whatever reason. And it does not have to be about sex. It can be platonic feelings of caring for the other like a sibling. It can be about an issue one is facing in one's life and something about this friend reminds one of the issue or a possible solution to it. It could be any number of things, so I don't think a crush is certain, but it is suspect.

Well...

This is my opinion: You usually dream about what you think about. That's how lucid dreams work, you use your mind to change the dream, because your mind basically is the dream. So I think this person may be thinking about you.

Now, that being said, I've dreamed of plenty girls that I'm friends with, and have no intention of being any more than that. Maybe its just because I was thinking of a conversation I had with them before I went to bed. Now, that doesn't explain why your in almost all of her dreams.

If you'd like an example continue reading:

I once had a crush on this girl sense 1st grade. And I still sort of do. I dream of her almost every night, because I think of her almost every night. Now in these dreams we're usually walking along, kissing, blah blah. Now the thing is, that's how I want it to play out. That's how I would've preferred it to go down. Because my mind is "trying to think of the positives".

Now before I start going off-track, I will try and interpret your situation:

My guess, is that, your friend is dreaming about you, simply because your friends. You might talk to her before she goes to bed, and thus she's thinking about that when she goes to bed, thus dreaming about it. I think, if you asked her what you and her are doing in those dreams, it might unlock another piece of the puzzle.

Can you ask her that so we can help you further?

Sweet dreams. :sleepmeditate2:

Am I the only one excited to finally hear the report of his friend's dream about him? :teeth:

She sent me this in a text: Just different things -but ill tell you about the most vivid dream i had about you - the only dream i can remember where the whole thing was just stuff going on with the two of us and no one else comes into play at all. I am copying this from my dream journal but I've changed "[My name]" to "you" and "we" ... just to make it easier for you to read.

I dreamt that we were chasing storms together late at night through the boonies somewhere, but it was like after the tornados but there were still some really violent weather in this crazy squall of cells that were huge green blobs on the radar stretching all the way up the map in a ENE line. We were driving through these destroyed little towns and we were stuck in all this ruin and the roads were becoming impassable with rising flood water and bogs of debris.

I was using radar to navigate us around the remaining super cells because we didn't want to chase such violent cells at night time - they'd been producing horrific tornados all day. But we kept getting stuck in flash floods, like suddenly we would just be in lake-deep water, with roof tops from submereged houses on either side of our floating car being the only visible thing in an endless ocean that had swallowed up the street we had been driving down, and it was too dark to see but other things were floating in the water too - debris maybe. But no people, we were the only ones. Profoundly alone. Like, last survivors of the appocolypse kind of alone - or at least thats what it felt like to me. You had been driving but the car would stall when the water would get that high. We would float and wait and it would sorta drain around the car and houses like water draining slowly out of a bath tub. Then when our tires would touch the road again we would drive off, only for this to happen again in the next town, rising water, rushing debris in a current always rushing towards us, things floating away from us, and the car would stall and i would be eye level with the roof tops of houses peeking up out of the water like glacier tops in the ocean. You said, we have to get out of the path of this squall line, and I was saying "this wasnt on the radar, I swear, I'm directing us due west, we should be getting away from this flooding" and indeed on my computer screen the green blotches squalling up the north east from Texas to Canada, with green warning boxes framing every inch or so, was all away from where i thought i was navigating us towards. I couldn't figure out how we kept hitting the flood regions, and so I just kept apologizing for navigating us wrong. You seemed concerned but not confused. Like you knew what I was doing wrong - but then, why wouldn't you share that information with me if indeed you did? Who would willingly drive into a flash flood and stay silent if they knew the way to avoid it? I kept navigating us and the flooding got deeper and the floating debris got more and more common, the rushing current more intense, until we couldn't drive against it anymore even when the car wasn't stalled. We couldn't drive forward and when the car stalled and started to rise up with the water, the current got so fast we started floating backwards, moving backwards, and we needed to go forward, desperately, for some reason. So eventually we had paddle the car to row ourselves along against the current of the rushing water. We kind of sat on our knees in the seats and leaned out the open car windows -- we had to roll down the windows of the hummer so we could lean out and row ourselves through the water, and we did so, like we were in a boat. First we tried to get the car to drive through the water but it was just too deep. We did get it to start though - we made a snorkel for the muffler out of some PVC pipe that you found floating in the flood water -- you waded out of the car through the water when we heard our tires scrape the ground under the water - we were on a hill top or something so the elevation under the water was higher. I watched you - it was really dark but a street light sticking up and flickering above the water let me see you a little. At first you could touch the ground - I knew this because you sorta waded through the water. Then you had to swim. You found something in the darkness - you swam back with it. It was a long L-shaped piece of someone's storm gutter from their house. You swam down under the water behind the car and attached it to the muffler. It made me nervous but i let you go because I was afraid of getting swept away if I went, and you said you were a strong swimmer. It was like white water rapids but you somehow managed to work in it - you attached the gutter piping to the muffler (and i am certain this wouldn't work IRL but somehow it made sense in my dream) and then the car started, but there was too much water to drive through so we floated inside the car like it was a boat and you had brought back some long planks of wood from your swim. We paddled with these 2-by-4s that we each had, and we rowed through all this trash and stuff that was floating in the water, a slow current of floating debris... and there were dead animals floating by... floating in the slow moving water as we rowed the car. Soon the water was up to the windows ... almost flooding the inside of the car but never quite breaching the lip of the widows ... so these dead animals were visible as they floated right next to my open window and it freaked me out to watch dogs and cats and squirrels bobbing lifelessly by, all the creatures that had drowned. As we rowed along it got progressively darker, more silent and eerie and eventually we went through a tunnel, a big round storm drain like tunnel. So as we were rowing through this dark tunnel this huge dead deer, half bobbing out of the water floated by my window. I said "it's sleeping, right?" And you said, in that ominous sort of matter-of-fact tone, "don't look at its eyes" and I looked away as it bobbed by in the darkness, but I looked in the side mirror - I couldn't resist, and its head was bobbing above the surface of the water but it was floating the other direction kind of on its side so only
one side of its face was visible and I saw one of its eyes - it was looking at me, dead and looking at me. The deer's eye seemed to fluoresce, it glowed with a life that existed in death. A dead life, a scary life, a wrong life, like it was something I shouldn't be looking at, like it was something that I shouldn't know about, in that way that kids shouldn't know about things their too innocent or young or understand or be ready for. I was so disturbed, but I couldn't look away. It looked back at me, but in a disconnected sense. It was like, because I saw the unseeing eye, it saw me back. I didn't look out the window anymore, I didn't look at the dark shapes that floated by outside my window in the water that came up to the lip of the car and nearly spilled in. Nearly, but didnt.
I saw the shapes floating by and wanted to look at the horrors, but you said "just look straight ahead, straight ahead as far as you can see" and this time, I listened. I saw nothing of interest on darkened horizon, like looking out over the ocean it was vast dark and empty... when i looked that far I saw no shapes or forms or telling shadows floating by, which was, I guess, the idea. But when we would row past street lamps, and the water was so high they were only a few feet above the water, I was tempted to look at what the patches of light were illuminating in the water, but when I would start to turn my head, you'd remind me "straight ahead" and i would fight the urge to look. But after looking at the deer, I listened to you when you told me to look straight ahead. We rowed in silence for a long time. When my 2-by-4 would touch something solid in the dark water outside my window, I'd start to look to see what it had hit, but without looking at me, you'd say "straight ahead" and so I would avert my eyes just in time. But I had this feeling the things floating by were people now. I started to ask you, but I didn't know how to phrase it without scaring myself - like saying it aloud brought it more to life somehow. I said "those bulges in the water that keep hitting my paddle - they feel big ... Heavy... They're not..." And then you asked me if - interrupted me - and asked me if I knew how to sing a Round. I said yes, and you started singing Row row row your boat, and I begin to sing it at "Merrily merrily merrily life is but a dream" which is ironic because it was a dream... And I did feel more merry as we sang, dismal as objectively the situation was.

I've also found out that in her dreams, she could have a dream of just doing something like buying a new computer and I would show up.

Any ideas, Im personally stumped by it.

For me, one of the key phrases in this dream may be " like it was something I shouldn't be looking at, like it was something that I shouldn't know about, in that way that kids shouldn't know about things their too innocent or young or understand or be ready for."

In this dream, it is a very scary situation for her. She believes that you know more than she does, and you know how to handle the situation. She trusts you. But this is scary for her, and she would rather not know, I think.

My interpretation is that yes, there is something deeper than friendship here (deep water, turbulent emotions, scarry stuff). She probably does not consciously acknowledge those feelings because they scare her. I think she knows subconsciously that you know that there is more there than friendship - several times in the dream, she stresses how you know stuff she doesn't know yet, and doesn't necessarily want to know. I think she has feelings for you, but those feelings scare her, because she is not ready yet. And she would rather that you were in charge of the situation, and as the one in charge kept it at a light level not making it deeper than she is ready for (sing rounds with her, do not make her face the scary truth).

That's what I think this dream may mean. But of course, I may be wrong.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by JoannaB

For me, one of the key phrases in this dream may be " like it was something I shouldn't be looking at, like it was something that I shouldn't know about, in that way that kids shouldn't know about things their too innocent or young or understand or be ready for."

In this dream, it is a very scary situation for her. She believes that you know more than she does, and you know how to handle the situation. She trusts you. But this is scary for her, and she would rather not know, I think.

My interpretation is that yes, there is something deeper than friendship here (deep water, turbulent emotions, scarry stuff). She probably does not consciously acknowledge those feelings because they scare her. I think she knows subconsciously that you know that there is more there than friendship - several times in the dream, she stresses how you know stuff she doesn't know yet, and doesn't necessarily want to know. I think she has feelings for you, but those feelings scare her, because she is not ready yet. And she would rather that you were in charge of the situation, and as the one in charge kept it at a light level not making it deeper than she is ready for (sing rounds with her, do not make her face the scary truth).

That's what I think this dream may mean. But of course, I may be wrong.

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Very interesting response. Would anyone else like to chime in?

Oh, I thought about it some more, and another part of the dream points in another direction "You seemed concerned but not confused. Like you knew what I was doing wrong - but then, why wouldn't you share that information with me if indeed you did? Who would willingly drive into a flash flood and stay silent if they knew the way to avoid it?"

If one focuses on this part instead of on later parts, it still states that you know stuff she does not, but in this part of the dream, she wishes you would share that knowledge. So it is possible that she would like you to speak up, but that she perceives you as avoiding the deep issues. So in this alternative interpretation, it's not that she wants you to avoid the deeper stuff, but rather she thinks you are not sharing what you know.

Which of these is more likely to be true? You know your friend, you decide. And yes, I also hope someone else will chime in.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by JMet

Would anyone else like to chime in?

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There are different ways of looking at dreams, mine is very much “subjective”, that is, almost always persons in dreams does not represent the actual persons but aspects of one self. In short, we are mainly unconscious and project sides of our personality unto others; we think that he is such-and-such, and she is such-and-such, and so forth. For instance, I think without consciously choosing to do so, that my teacher is wise, my friend is loving, my classmate is a liar, the policeman is honest, the neighbor egoistical and so on and so forth without end.

We are all this ourselves, more or less consciously, and different streaks are more or less pronounced in our character, but nonetheless. So if the dream express the fact that I’m too much in my head and disregards my relationships in an unbalanced way, I may dream that my friend is locked in a basement or that my teacher is sitting up in a tree, depending on the details of the situation. But the thing is that the persons in the dream really has nothing to do with the friend or the teacher, but are used to express sides of our self and the relationship between those and our ego. Everything in our dreams are symbols, in my point of view, persons too.

But the persons in the dreams can also reflect our relationship to the actual person, though not the persons themselves. For instance, if my relationship with my wife is destructive but I don’t want to acknowledge that for practical reasons and convince myself that it isn’t, I may dream that my wife is dangerous to me. But that doesn’t mean that she is a dangerous person, but rather that my relationship with her is more dangerous than I want to know. So my wife in my dream is a symbol for my relationship with her in actual life, but still not a representation of her as another human being. It is very uncommon in my view that dreams tell us things about other persons.

So the reason that your friend is dreaming of you is that she has projected some psychological content on you. It may be abstract things, like hope. For instance, say that she is depressed – at least the dream is very depressing – and then she perhaps (unconsciously) hope that you will a sort of savior. That sounds very dramatic, but dreams work with symbols and therefore people in our surroundings can be portrayed as murderers, wise men, witches, saviors, and so on, because those are the symbols of the inner content projected and then used in the dreams.

From this dream I can see no reason to conclude that she is in love with you or anything of the kind, but it is probable that she more or less unconsciously have invested a lot of “inner material” (for lack of better words) on you. As long as she is not possessed with you so to speak, that is alright, especially when you are young it is quiet natural to get bound up in persons in your surroundings because you are still rather unaware of who yourself is, so everybody else get to be parts of you. And for her you are obviously important and she is taking a big risk to disclose her dreams to you like this, and you should handle that responsibly, because she is making herself vulnerable to you.

I’ve already written a long post and will not try to interpret the dream, which also is very long, except that as I said, the dream is very depressing and offers no solution to the situation, and therefore one could guess that your friend at this point it time carries a feeling of hopelessness and is quite unsure where to go in life. She might also be slightly overwhelmed by unconscious material, judging from the vast and destructive water in the dream, the thunderstorms and so forth. If that is true it can be good to seek advice from another person than you. In this dream you are actually a father figure, especially at the end, when the dream-you says that the girl should not look, but sing a nursery rhyme instead. And she does, and thus the dream ends, like being nursed to sleep by her father when she is scared of the dark. But being a father figure to somebody else at the same age especially is not an optimal basis for a relationship for neither of you, even if you are only friends, and that is why I think it would be better for her if she found another person, perhaps a professional, to open herself up to, if she in fact is in need of that.

But all this is mere speculation, of course, and my advices and theories are based only on a couple of posts on the internet regarding a third person and should of course be disregarded if they doesn’t feel right to you.

Wakinyian is absolutely right that it is a good idea to interpret other dream characters as representing aspects of the dreamer or a dreamer's perception and not necessarily the person portrayed in the dream. I can't believe I did not think of that earlier - in a way I am still learning tge art of dream interpretation, thanks for helping teach me, Wakinyan.

However, I would be reluctant to suggest to the dreamer professional counseling based on the contents of one dream. Personally I have been depressed off and on throughout my life, and I only sought out a therapist once, and that had more to do with free therapists being available to students, and me having an important decision to make while I was depressed and trying to figure out whether I was leaning in one direction and not the other only because I was depressed. The therapist I saw was a great listener, and that helped me a lot. Most times in my life when I have been depressed though I have managed to pull myself out of this with help of friends and family and my own determination. And sometimes depression did not last long, just a week, and at other times it would last months. Just because your friend had one depressive dream does not necessarily mean she must be depressed overall. For that to be the case, she would also need to be depressed in waking life.

I do not like giving dream interpretation in third person without the dreamer present because a lot of dream interpretation is about helping the dreamer brainstorm ideas until the dreamer him- or herself figures out what the dream was about. And without the dreamer's involvement in the process the chances of being wrong about an interpretation are much higher in my opinion.

Thank you JoannaB for elaborating on my thoughts, especially since I obviously came through a less careful in my text than in my mind! Of course I'm not suggesting that the poster's friend should seek professional counseling based on this dream, my point was rather that if this girl is in a state of mind where she needs support and if she is depressed and if she sees the poster as a savior or a father figure, it can be wise to counsel a third party (not suggesting therapy of course!) because if those ifs are true, the relationship between the two can be difficult maintain in a productive way. But as I said, "this is mere speculation ... based only on a couple of posts on the internet" and certainly it wasn't my intention to give a pseudo-professional advice or suggest therapy! Once again, thanks for highlighting this and give me the opportunity to clarify my thoughts.