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    Thread: I keep dreaming about a past/present crush

    1. #1
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      I keep dreaming about a past/present crush

      I do presume you get a lot of these "dreaming about a specific person" threads but mine is quite different. (I bet you get a lot of that too)

      During my time at primary school I had 3 crushes. First one was just your basic crush, hardly knew her loved her. Was like.. 9 at the time too. Not important. Second one was pretty much the same, but it was during my last year of primary school. (so when I was 10 to 11). I felt some feelings but I hardly knew her too, and it just fizzled out. I barely remember her name, and I can't remember the first one's last name.

      Now the third and most important one. She joined a little way through my last year, and it obvious to who/where she was as my classroom had around 20 kids in it. My friend pointed her out to me and instantly I felt some attraction.. but not love. I was 11 at the time, and I wasn't attractive on a relationship level at all. Was overweight (baring in mind I was barely 5 foot tall), hygiene wasn't perfect and I was more of a friend to any potential girlfriends, rather than boyfriend.

      So as I said, right away was attracted of some sort but as the year progressed that grew little by little. I was never obsessed but it hurt when my friend dated her . I made her laugh a lot, and we spoke casually but never ever more than that. The year ended, and that summer I became ill with IBS/Anxiety-depression which got really bad by the end of the summer half term. I went to my secondary school but the IBS got out of hand, as did the anxiety and I was medically signed off after a long process (she didn't go to that school btw) I've been signed off school since then, and now, 15 and in my final year, I'm not going back. I get tutored at a local library now, but I am getting a lot better. Planning to play football in front of tons of people soon which is a big thing for me.

      I'd think of her here and there during the first 3 years of being sick, but the last year I've thought so much. I keep getting these reoccuring dreams of different situations involving us. The first one was before I planned to play football in front of tons of people, but the dream was of that exact situation. I was playing football and she was there. And more recently, I went out and she was walking to the same shop. We started talking and she gave me her number. Then I woke up the next day to hear the news she had died, and in the dream I was in bits. I then woke up sort of out of breath and panicing. This was 7 in the morning, too.

      So what do the dreams mean? I didn't want to write too much but because this is a special circumstance I had to! I've lost 3 stone now (5 foot 9 and 10 stone 7) and I've drastically improved my hygiene.. even getting braces. I can't contact her at all at the moment, but hopefully I will be able to soon. We live in a village so it's pretty close. I don't want to think this means something special, get my hopes up only to see them crushed when I get better and am able to talk to her, hence asking you guys what these may mean.

      Thank you!

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      Just to start off by saying that you should be very proud of yourself for fighting back so successfully against the effects of IBS, especially at a time in your life when you should normally have been having fun and enjoying more fully the building up of friendships and a fuller social life in general.

      As far as dreams go, they are usually complicated to interpret properly, so it’s probably best just to outline a couple of general ideas about what your dreams about the girl might mean.

      For example, the most important image seems to be the one of finding out that she died overnight just when there was a chance of you two getting together.

      Often, the image of girl in a guy’s dream relates to his emotional feeling side, so the idea might be to never give up on strongly defending your feelings of confidence and perseverance which you’ve demonstrated so far (e.g. getting together with the girl) no matter how “dark” and hard things might sometimes look (she dies at “night”).

      Especially as a young person, you naturally want to impress others and succeed in showing off the skills you’re developing (she’s in the stands at the football game), but as mentioned, there are bound to be a few setbacks at times.

      Unfortunately, your condition makes you a little more vulnerable to such challenges and so you have to steel yourself to them in order not to slip back too much on the many gains you’ve already made when something comes along to maybe get in the way slightly of smooth progress forward.

      Maybe one approach about whether to talk with the girl herself would be to decide if you could handle well enough the very slight chance of an obvious rejection on her part. If you feel you can, then it’s probably worth a try, even if only to further build up your confidence and being able to say “Yeah, that hurt, but I’m still game!”

      Anyway, I hope these ideas can be helpful and best of luck with your football!
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      Quote Originally Posted by Athanor View Post
      Just to start off by saying that you should be very proud of yourself for fighting back so successfully against the effects of IBS, especially at a time in your life when you should normally have been having fun and enjoying more fully the building up of friendships and a fuller social life in general.

      As far as dreams go, they are usually complicated to interpret properly, so it’s probably best just to outline a couple of general ideas about what your dreams about the girl might mean.

      For example, the most important image seems to be the one of finding out that she died overnight just when there was a chance of you two getting together.

      Often, the image of girl in a guy’s dream relates to his emotional feeling side, so the idea might be to never give up on strongly defending your feelings of confidence and perseverance which you’ve demonstrated so far (e.g. getting together with the girl) no matter how “dark” and hard things might sometimes look (she dies at “night”).

      Especially as a young person, you naturally want to impress others and succeed in showing off the skills you’re developing (she’s in the stands at the football game), but as mentioned, there are bound to be a few setbacks at times.

      Unfortunately, your condition makes you a little more vulnerable to such challenges and so you have to steel yourself to them in order not to slip back too much on the many gains you’ve already made when something comes along to maybe get in the way slightly of smooth progress forward.

      Maybe one approach about whether to talk with the girl herself would be to decide if you could handle well enough the very slight chance of an obvious rejection on her part. If you feel you can, then it’s probably worth a try, even if only to further build up your confidence and being able to say “Yeah, that hurt, but I’m still game!”

      Anyway, I hope these ideas can be helpful and best of luck with your football!
      Well the difficult thing with that is the fact I'm not close to that yet. I've got a long way to go before that. In my mind I'd always imagine that being the light at the end of the tunnel, and after everything the rejection would be so much worse than just normal rejection. If that makes sense!

      Any opinion on what it may be on my part? Would dreams like these tell you how I feel about her? Another thing I've worried about is sort of getting over all this and it just being a crush that fizzled out as soon as I saw someone different. I know the differences between love, infatuation and lust but because I don't speak to her it's hard for me to pinpoint.

      Thank you very much for the detailed reply, by the way!

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      You’re welcome, but I’m afraid I can’t provide very much more help on what the girl’s image in your dreams might mean.

      In general though, it’s safe to say that only about 15% or so of dreams are about the outer people we know and our relationships with them. The other 85% are dealing with parts of our own personality.

      This can be hard to understand at first and some people who interpreted your dreams might disagree.

      One thing to keep in mind is that she probably represents to some extent certain aspects of yourself which aren’t your usual way of acting.

      As a very general example, a guy who is mostly quiet and inward looking would be attracted to an outgoing girl and she would also appear in his dreams.

      The main thing is probably to gradually try out different relationships with various girls when you are feeling better and that way, you’ll come to sense what type of girl is a good match for you over time.

      Falling in and out of love is a hazard of being young but when you’re older, you’ll look back on the relationships probably mostly with fond feelings.

      In the meantime, keeping an eye on how this girl and others are acting in your dreams can be broadly helpful in getting a sense of how your feelings are being handled.

      For instance, if a girl is crying or upset etc., this might mean that you are tending to slip into feelings which aren’t good ones in general, whether directed at a specific outer girl or just to other people and situations. Selfishness might be taking over, or a lack of enough consideration etc.

      Or you could even be unconsciously drifting towards being too harsh on yourself when dealing with the challenges of your current illness for example.

      Anyway, these are only some general tips and won’t fit every situation, but keeping a casual eye on your dreams can be useful in spotting if you’re becoming too upset about things and maybe need someone to help out with that.

      So once again I hope that these thoughts can be useful in some way.
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    6. #6
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      Question DREAMing ABOUT WHAT YOU THINK

      I wonder though what percentage of real people in dreams are about them? I know from feedback sometimes they are not.
      Would dreams like these tell you how you feel about her? Because the last year you've thought so much of her, yes. I think the dreams are only about her, how she affects you.
      It's a different matter when dreamers dream of somebody, like their exes, when they have not thought of them. Then they are symbolic.

      DREAM 1
      The first one was before you planned to play football in front of tons of people might mean you wanted your real moment of triumph to be associated with her. To have that success with her. Or just for her to see it.

      DREAM 2
      More recently, thinking of being wih her, or her giving you what you need, maybe you woke up to yourself the next day and feared you would lose her, or she'd die to you, which made you panic. Or maybe was your concern she is just a crush that might fizzle out.

      So, if this is correct, you already know what these dreams mean, as they are exactly your thoughts, fears, and hopes.
      They would not normally predict anything beyond that.

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