Thread: Cheated on my husband?

Aha! I could swear that the reason why I have a knack for this dream interpretation thing is because I see a dream and recognize the issue because I've had it before. Sigh, I think I am a disturbing and disturbed person. Anyway, I know how you feel because it just so happens that I had a dream earlier this year of cheating on my husband, and I also would never do that. Unfortunately in my dream the other man is someone I know which made it even more awkward - so be glad you do not really know that man.

I thought a lot about why I had that dream. Could it be that I was worried because I still sometimes find other men attractive? You know our society has such a strong monogamy that sometimes we forget that we are sexual beings with instincts, and just because we are married does not mean we will never look at someone else and think what an attractive male.

Could it be that there was something or some quality that othe male has that I wish my husband had? In your dream the man for example had a daughter, so this could be a weird way of maternal instincts rearing their head, wishing for a child - but perhaps you are worried about whether you are ready for taking care of a baby, and thus your dream constructs a scenario where you could have a more grown child?

Could it be that your mind is worried about whether your love will last always - all marriages have their ups and downs, and you will have yours - doesn't mean that it will lead to cheating of course, but it will be challenging in some way.

Also cheating in the dream could represent a feeling of guilt over some perceived wrong that you think you did toward your husband, perhaps you felt guilty because you did not feel as amorous as he wished the other night or because you are not as good at something you think a wife should be good at (cooking?) and thus you had a guilty spouse dream.

In my case part of the reason why I had my cheating dream was because my husband was away on business for a few days and I felt lonely without him - has your husband been away?

Also I realized that I had had a lot of dreams about moral values and taboos when I had that dream, and I think sometimes our minds review those and like to shake us up to see whether a value holds firm after such a shake up. Also sometimes, my mind is just a bitch and does not treat me right and gives me dreams that I hate myself for, does yours? So this could be a dream about being critical of yourself, basically telling yourself that you are a wretched human being, a dream about low self esteem.

So those were some of my thoughts of why I had a dream like this, which may or may not apply to you.

I don’t know what this dream means, but I’ll threw out a few pointers to give you another perspective on the content. I don’t think that it will lead to an true understanding of the dream, but hopefully it will help you to shrug off the bad feelings and accept the story.

There are so many different ways to approach a dream, my preferred is to look at it as an inner dynamic, an inner drama where the dreamer plays all the roles. We are sort of many, and many of those are totally unconscious and autonomous parts and dreams display this. Not all dreams are of this kind, but I don’t want to digress.

I think the persons you don’t know from real life represent different parts of your self, like different ideas, longings, instincts, emotions, and so forth. Such aspects of ourselves get a personality in dreams, like people, animals, even things.

So “The Man” in the dream could be interpreted as you inner man (or rather an aspect of it). Exactly what that means I will not speculate or elaborate on because my intent is not to interpret the dream, but rather as I said, offer another point of view.

Anyways, the argument for throwing that dopey comment out is that you do not know him in real life, so obviously he does not represent a person, but rather an idea, or – for lack of better words – an “inner man”, a quality of yourself you more or less unconsciously need to know better.

Sex in dreams, interpreted subjectively, is often an expression of getting as close to someone or something as one can, because sexual intercourse is a union. So if you need to integrate a certain quality that is represented by a man, the dream can use sex as a symbol of that.

We have two clues as to what the man represent: One is that he gets interested in you when you prove your intellectual qualities. That is what the man appreciate and what makes him tune into you. The second is the daughter. Later in the dream it is revealed that you wanted to get close to the daughter.

The child can be a symbol of personal qualities you have latent, which may grow and become a part of your future. The “inner man quality” is a way to integrate this. This is not information one can act upon, sometimes dream stories are for contemplation and for carrying with us as we go; they are often out of reach for immediate understanding.

Other things that point out that there is reason to understand this man as a quality of one’s self, and not simply an object for sexual attraction, is that he goes to live in you hometown with a woman who has the same name as you. This is a very strong hint that he is a part of you, and not an object separated from you.

The unconscious ideas, emotions, qualities, symbolized in this dream is not understood by the dream ego, naturally. Therefore the dream ego is very disturbed by the development, because it experience it as something happening outside of her, hence the belief that attraction between the inner man and the ego is some kind of cheating and so forth.

This is one way of looking at the dream. As I said, it is not an interpretation, but hopefully a little food for thought. Perhaps it’s all mumbo-jumbo to you, and wouldn’t mind if you told me so, I know dream views like these are to many, but of course I hope it helps a little bit to come into terms with your inner experience.