Rape Dream, very freaked out, please help!

[APacoJ]

Before I start, I would like to apologize if the sexual content involved is offensive to anybody. I will try to keep the post as pg-13 as possible. The dream is centered around me and one girl in particular, so I'll give some background that may be helpful. First off, we are both high school age. I'm a senior and she is a sophomore. We dated, briefly, more than a year ago. She is the first (and only) girl I've kissed. That was as far as we went, we never did anything sexual. Since breKing up, we've become very close friends. A couple months ago, we started discussing th possibility of a friends-with-benefits situation. She's the only girl I've ever even come close to doing anything of that nature with. That never amounted to anything. Over the past few weeks, we've kinda stopped talking altogether, though it did talk to for a while yesterday. Then came my dream last night. Overall, the dream was rather strange. These stories kept popping up about people getting killed, and no one could figure out who was killing them. Then, one day, there was a mass murder, and a large amount of people where killed all at once. I was the one that caught the killer, and it was the girl I talked about earlier. But rather than turning her in, I decided to punish her myself. I decided to punish her by raping her, because that can have such a lasting effect on girls. There was a small crowd when it happened, I don't recall who any of the people in the crowd were, or if I even knew them. They didn't really have any effect on the dream they were just kind of there. So I went on, I first performed oral sex on her, then went all the way and raped her, very forcefully and violently. That is all I remember. This dream freaks me out a lot. I'm a good person, I'm very gentle and respectful of females, I would never do anything to hurt one, and I would especially never rape somebody, so why would I have a dream like that? I feel it is important to note, this was NOT a wet dream. Again, I would like to apologize if the graphic nature of this post is inappropriate for this website, or if it offends anybody. Thanks for any help.

[LucidBrot]

I find it interesting that nobody answered yet - i know smaller forums that reply way faster. But if noone else does, I have to try to help you. Please don't be offended, it's just a thought, but...You could say that that rape was justice and you did the right thing as you have known that the government wouln't do to her what would've been appropriate. That would be an interesting discussion, I suppose, but back to your question. Why did you dream that? If it wasn't because of mentioned justice ( ) there must be an other reason. Dreams consist of the following: - wishes (could it be that you wanted sex at that moment or was it just what you said?) - fears (maybe you fear being accused of rape, having to harm that girl or something other...that'd be like a nightmare) -waking activities & thoughts ( did you do that in waking life or think about it ? XD ) - Random things to make the story somewhat ok(sorry I am not english). I mean that what the dream is abot isn't only built by said things but also by rather random things to connect the topics. Now, you can tell yourself why you dreamt of raping her - it certainly doesn't have to mean that you're a bad person.

[Wakinyan]

There is no need to get upset about one's dreams, if one from time to time have a dream that would be quite upsetting if it happened in real life. Everyone has disturbing dreams, and the general reason for this is that emotions, impulses, fantasies that are disturbing to our self image continuously past through our so called subconscious and sometimes those are picked up by our dreams and we experience these disturbing images. I won't try to interpret the dream, but there are a couple of things I'd like to point out. The first is that the girl is killing a lot of people. That could be seen as an image of your hopes about the future is killed by your experience with this girl. So the girl symbolize your hopes of the future (people's lives), but those hopes were killed (people's death). Without being totally aware of this, there could have been a subconscious hope for sexual satisfaction with this girl, but that was killed. Sexuality is a very strong desire even though we might disregard its strength, so the psyche reacts to that violently. So the frustration is expressed by forced sex. That is not something you would like, of course, it is only a depiction of a frustration you might not be totally aware of -- the more "unconscious" we are of something we need, the more "nightmarish" the dream we experience, as if the dream wants to force its message unto us, just like the sexual drive wants to force itself unto the object of the desire in the dream. The reason you want to rape her is to make a lasting impression, and that may be a symbol of your inner wish to make a lasting impression on her; this mixed up with the sexual frustration and perhaps a feeling of revenge for having had to gone through this gives this highly disturbing content. So the dream may be an unpleasant ricochet from an unsatisfactory experience, and I wouldn't worry about it as such. If these dreams kept coming though, I would take another look so to speak.

[shadowofwind]

Looks like APacoJ has never been back to look at responses to his post anyway. I realize I'm going strongly against the prevailing culture, as well as against a lot of hormones, but I suggest considering the possibility of not doing 'friends with benefits'. Don't do it to try to prop up your self image because you think other people think you're worthless if you haven't had sex with anyone. And don't let her use you for that either unless you're completely comfortable with it. I've had a couple of relationships like this, in one, we didn't communicate our feelings and intentions adequately well and at least one of us got hurt a lot. In the other situation neither of us got hurt much, as far as I know, but the experience didn't have much value either. If I could go back and do it again, I'd pass on both situations. Better to have sex with someone when you're both serious about each other, and have open and honest communication. Most people will disagree with me on this site of course. I think you have to do what you're comfortable with, what is consistent with who you are. Then whatever consequences follow, it what is yours to deal with. And the other person's also of course.

[JoannaB]

I think a lot of times dreams take a phrase and word play and transform it into metaphoric imagery. One possible interpretation of such a dream would be that you "cannot help wanting to" have sex with her, "against your own will", in other word part of your mind wants to have sex but another part of your mind maybe wishes you wouldn't, and that got translated by your mind into "rape". In a way the victim of this dream rape is not the girl but it is you: you are both the perpetrator and the victim. Perhaps you punish yourself for your desires which part of you wishes you did not have. Or perhaps you feel the pressure of your hormones, maybe you have had sexual urges around this girl or when thinking of her, and while such urges are perfectly normal and there is nothing wrong with them, but perhaps you feel out of control because your sex drive is in control, so it is like rape in that someone is not in control there, and I think that someone is a part of you that wishes you had more self control. Another thought: why is she a killer in your dream? Could it be that your desire for her is "killing" you, not literally but like in the phrase: "you're killing me!" Said casually to a friend in a metaphorical way. Or is it that she is so attractive, she's got killer looks, and in your dream her killing a lot of people stands for her turning a lot of guy's heads, and maybe you are jealous of them, and want to punish her for being attractive to others, and in the dream in a very primitive way you lay your claim on her, as if to say "mine!" You say you have not talked to her for a while, and the killing could be about that: it could represent your fear of the death of your relationship. And your dream response to that is to protest vehemently and to become intimate in a way where there is no choice because maybe you feel like being in a relationship with her is not actually a choice but rather something that some part of you feel must happen. And by "relationship" I do not necessarily mean sex but rather a human to human relationship: maybe you feel that you have to be in touch with her. Of course all my ideas may be wrong, and if they do not sound right, feel free to disregard.

[APacoJ]

Thanks so much everybody for the help. While I'm still not 100% sure about any of the meanings you have all made some very good points, and have made me feel a little more comfortable with the fact I had this dream.