I'll start with a preface; I am 19, I've been dating my girlfriend for 7 months now and I suffer from R-OCD, I constantly worry about "Am I doing this cause I love her or because I have to", "Why Did i Do This, do i not love her", etc. I have never cheated, never will, I spend every moment I can with her and when I'm with hr it's great! BUt when Im not im super worried about the way I'm acting. R-OCD sucks.. and this is my first serious relationship. I feel bad even ooking at another woman because I feel like if I love someone I shouldnt..
I have a friend, we shall call him Brad, he is my best friend in the world, we hang out a bunch, and he is my girlfriends cousin. He's can hook up with pretty much any girl he please but for some reason is super insecure about himself and has only hooked up with maybe 2. One weird thing I sometimes freak out about (Again OCD) is thinking that I might be attracted t oguys just because I go "hey hes good at that" or something. Growing up I had VERY few friends, as I am highfunctioning Autism. So the friendship thing is foreign to me..
I have another friend, her name is roxanne, she is pretty good looking, drives a challenger, rich, and well, she just broke up with her boyfriend and her boyfriend hated me, even though I had no intentions of doing anything with her.
Last night I had one WEIRD dream that is really bothering me. Ive been very stressed over finals in university, so this dream combined with the fact that Ive been obsessing over my relationship with brooklyn has me very confused.
It starts in a bedroom, one I dont recognise, actually its almost like my bedroom but the bed is on the opposite of the room. Anyway, I'm having sex with roxanne, at first I think this felt great, but then my thought process was 'Brooklyn... Im cheating on her... I can just not tell her.." Then I thrwo one of roxannes legs aside and yell NO, and storm out of the bedroom. I get to my car (which Im very proud of having paid for by myself, 05 Chrysler 300C) and Jacob is inside. He says he is taking my car and for some reason has a key. So I grab the hand with the key in it, then he has another, saying something about one for the doors and one fro the ignition. So I grab that key too, then he starts to try and kiss me! the worst kind too like, picture the biggest gaping unnatractive kiss ever.
Then i woke up, I might add I woke up to me punching my bedroom wall, thankfully i woke up in time to slow it down enough not to punch a hole in the wall, but it still hit pretty solid.
Now, I'm not sure if I'm supposed to do this but MY bestguess is that I dont need to worry about this stuff in real life, since I left roxanne and punched jake in the face (well thats what im assuming I was aiming for at least) but im really worried so I figured I had to get profesional or at least, practiced advice.
