Boy who was never saved - Nightmare.

In my dream, I'm a boy of about 11 years of age. I was at home with my dream Mother (who wasn't much like my IWL Mother) - I had this huge feeling that there was a 'thing' that I needed to have. Some kind of object. I couldn't figure out what it was and ended up moving past thinking about it. My Mother took me with her to a house party where she and her friends spent time drinking and mingling inside. It felt too uncomfortable to go in, so I stood in the driveway while I waited for her until it started getting dark. At this point, I was thinking of who I could call to pick me up and ended up walking away to a nearby house of an adult I knew. This adult was a man who I felt a sort of familiarity to, like a school teacher, someone who I could be comfortable with and was trustworthy. It was nearly completely dark outside when he and his partner welcomed me in and his partner was actually about to step out for the night, which seemed fine. He lead me up the stairs and I stood in the door way and watched him check on his adopted baby daughter. I felt we had a connection in that moment and told him that I wished I were his son. As soon as I had said it, something in me felt a little off or wrong. He was stroking his daughters cheek and then, without warning, started thumping her face while telling me he didn't want a daughter, he wanted a son. It was vivid and horrifying to watch. I could see her little face distort with every blow. The fear in my gut was sickening. He then ushered me downstairs to make a hot drink and was under the impression we were both on the same page about whatever psychotic episode he was having. I picked up the phone and told him I was going to call my Mother and let her know I wasn't going to be home tonight and that I would stay with him, hoping he would let me use the phone in good faith that I really was obedient to him. I did call my Mother and she immediately sent someone to come and save me. As I hung up the phone, he was smiling and telling me that we were going to have a wonderful night together. The moment felt so real and I was terrified being in such close proximity to him with no way out. I had the full expectation that I would be saved not long after hanging up the phone, I couldn't fathom being subjected to him overnight. In the next instance, I remember while I lay on the floor for dream hours, I watched the morning sun start to shine in through the window. It occurred to me that I had been left the entire night with this man. When my rescuer (who I can't tell if male or female) dragged him out of the house and onto the sidewalk, he screamed out desperately not to change his 'Jeremy' back. At this point, my rescuer thrust a knife between his throat and chin into his head. I didn't believe he was going to die, but he did. My rescuer wasn't able to look at me as I stood by the house and watched. In my own dream, all my internals screamed that I didn't want to see any of this, I couldn't handle the images. But it's like I had absolutely no choice. My clothes were gone and I had been physically mangled and mutilated. I had a very distant and minor feeling that if I had that 'thing' I was trying to figure out in the beginning, then I might have had a better chance of saving myself. But I can't remember what that thing is. Then in a bizarre turn, I attempted to comfort the one who had come to rescue me by telling them I could pretend they're burns on my body and be a poster child for smoke alarms. Then I woke up.


I fell asleep in a really good state of mind, so it was a shocker to wake up from something that left me reeling in such a negative way. I'm female, 28 years old, I live in a stable and secure home with a loving partner and my Mother never went to parties - she doesn't even drink. I celebrated my female cousin's 11th birthday that night, but she isn't abused, her Mother is protective and loving and I have no concerns about her safety what-so-ever. I can't figure it out. My dream didn't feel linked to my cousin at all, I only just connected it now that it was her 11th last night and in my dream, I was a boy of about 11.
When it comes to my gender - male or female - it's always totally normal to me in my dream to be either, so I'm not too baffled about not being female. Even after waking up it was irrational how terrified I was, I felt like something really bad was going to happen to me. I knew it was just a dream, but urgh, it was such a terrible emotional one! I can't figure it out or make any links. Thank you for taking the time to read through. Any ideas would be much appreciated!