I keep dreaming of this girl over and over...why?

[CHILL]

Hey what's up everyone? I'm new here and just stumbled upon this site recently hoping I can get some kind of answers for these reoccurring dreams. Alright so...I keep having dreams about this same girl constantly over and over. Let me give you some background: This girl was a girl I went to high-school with and whom actually was quite pretty and popular. However, I was never really apart of her world so to speak. I mean I knew of her of course, had quite a few classes with her along with some of my friends. I only talked to her in passing or small talk situation like asking for a pencil or some paper. She actually interacted with and spoke to my best friend a whole lot more than she ever did me. I was always kind of to myself and not as social able unless someone talked to me. But then again, so was my friend for the most part, but despite that people were always naturally attracted to him. So it's understandable. Anyhow, she really was a nice sweet person from what I could see, probably one of the nicest, coolest people in the entire school that I've ever seen. Keep in mind I went to a school where rumors and lies and such spread like wild-fire. In the 4-years I went there I never even heard one bad thing about her...not ONE. And again this is a school where people enjoyed hating and doing things like this. I don't know how she stayed true to herself or wasn't being hated on considering some of the people in her circle were people like this. But I never saw her treat anyone like this or be disrespectful to others or anything like that, including myself. The girl was like a breathe of fresh-air in the madness, especially being as popular as she was. Now I'm not saying she was perfect, I realize she is human as we all are. But she just wasn't on all that BS a lot people were on. And it's just amazing she didn't really have any public haters because that's normally what happens with someone like that. Alright now that I've given you an idea of what she was like on to my issue.... Its funny to note that during the whole 4-years of being in high-school with her I never really or rarely had dreams involving her. Not until like 7-YEARS later while in college. The first couple of dreams weren't a big deal to me, it was like oh wow I just dreamed about her 2-3 times. I hadn't thought about her a whole lot over that time and she may have been brought up in conversations with friends a few times during those times, but that's it. Even when I had the first three dreams which were all back to back I wasn't even thinking about her at all during those days I had the dreams. But then suddenly I started having more and more and more dreams with her and then I was like WHOA. A lot of them if not the majority of them took place back in high-school, with us talking and hanging out or whatever sometimes my best friend was with us. I felt really good and in the dreams they were awesome and she was really cool like I remember. Long story short these type of dreams went on four the next 4 YEARS, not always back to back but definitely consistently. It was crazy and no matter what I couldn't get them to stop, it started to bother me, even annoy me cause it's like, why am, I dreaming this much about ONE girl. Not to mention every time I have are times when I'm NOT thinking about her and I don't think about her like THAT in general. But it's like I'm being forced too anyway. There were girls I liked before her that I've haven't dreamed about like that. There were girls after her that were even interested in me that I never dreamed about like that or even at all. It made no sense especially considering I had no real strong connection with her. And I haven't seen her since high-school nor do I even know where she is or what she looks like since hitting adult-hood. Then suddenly, they stopped, I'd say for a year maybe close to two. I thought finally, it's over...But NO they started happening again and again and again. That seems to be the pattern now, it'll be this huge marathon run about dreams with her, then they'll stop for a while...then start up again. It's crazy and really killing me since I don't really know her anymore. I just actually had one last night about her as we are now, but the problem is I've never seen her past 17, but in my dream I see this fully adult version. It's just weird. Another thing is, sometimes in the dreams she is really cool with me and other times she is not as cordial with me and a little more serious. But at the same time, if my friend is in the dream she seems WAY more comfortable with him and is always like that with him. Like in this recent dream, she seemed a little bit pissed at me and I didn't know why. Then we talked a little about some Tv shows and she gave me a piece of gum and with a somewhat serious look on her face she said to me something along the lines of *I like people who are more comfortable with themselves" or more open or something like that. Then like an idiot for some reason I happily respond "I know right!" while I'm chewing the gum. She then looks at me for a moment and gives off this smirk and walks away. *Sigh* I know I've written a lot here, I don't think I intended to write this much but hopefully it's interesting enough for you to bare through it all. I just want to make sure everything is clear. I know some of you may even say these are repressed romantic feelings I may have had for her but if that's the case what about the other girls I've liked? Or one's who showed me more attention? So what do you all think?

[AtPeace]

Given the length of this post, you are infatuated or maybe in love with her. I am on a forum that deals with relationships and when people are infatuated, they tend to over-think every little detail. We tend to dream of things we are emotionally connected to.

[JoannaB]

I think this dream may not be about this girl, but the idea of this girl, what she represents to you. You say no one ever talked bad of her, she stayed true to herself, she was like a breath of fresh air. She likes people who are comfortable with themselves, and part of you wishes you had that. This is what she symbolizes for you, and this is what you dream of. Either in yourself or in a girl, you either want to become a person who stays true to oneself or find one like that, not necessarily this girl, but you saw the positive qualities in her, and are longing for such qualities in yourself or in your significant other or both.

[CHILL]

I mean maybe that really is the case, truth is I really don't know. I just know I keep seeing her and I don't fully understand why. My friend said that I'm probably having these constant dreams about her because I miss my childhood and not being more open to befriending her like I may have wanted instead of punking out. Considering that a lot of the dreams have taken place during that time period, not all of them but the majority have. He feels something in my brain feels like I should have done that. Apparently there's some truth to that because my subconscious will NOT let it go, whether I'm thinking about it or not. Leaving me not knowing how to rectify the situation. Perhaps there is something inside of me that feels like I really messed up not speaking to her or something. No way I would have ever believed that at the time though. But some hidden part of me has to feel strongly because I'm not having these many dreams about anyone else like this. Right now though it seems as though is giving me a break like I spoke about earlier. They'll be this period where I won't dream about her, then BOOM I'm bombarded again. It's barely been a week since my last dream about her.

[amdor]

Hey. When i read your story the first thing that came up in my mind was: When you are having so much dreams about her, why don't you try to go lucid and ask her why is she constantly in your dreams? This is a great motivation to learn the way of lucid dreaming in my opinion. Or i don't know perhaps find her and tell her all about this. Judging by what you said about her she seems really nice. Find her, talk to her. Give it a shot. It won't hurt, right? Just tell her "Hi i had a dream about you..." It's a good conversation starter. It will even be better because of the fact that you knew each other. Then tell her there are lots of dreams. If she doesn't freak out that would be awesome. Maybe if you get to know her in the adult-hood the dreams might stop. If that's what you want. But i'm a guy like you who just discovered these forums. I'm not trying to be an expert or soemthing...