sexual violence but really don't get why re-occuring
Sorry idk where I'm supposed this really. Please if it's in the wrong spot my apologies.
My boss is 43. And I'm 21. He has a wife and 3 children. I keep having dreams about him. I have dreams of sexual things with him. Like first one was where I was in his car we were driving somehow his family my gf and I went vacationing with him and his family to San Diego, CA. We pulled over to a rest stop everyone goes to relieve themselves and we go in the rest stop. When we go to the bathroom, he pushes me against the door and we start making out. He gives me a hand job and then we go back out and travel further and hit another rest stop. It repeats itself three times. It's also raining oddly enough it's really not heavy rain that we experience here. I finally wake up the fourth time. I keep tapping my hand against the door the road looks the same and repeats itself.
I had a dream a few days later. I am at his house, but it's not his. I mean not how it really looks. It's bigger and it's brown and instead of red. The inside is the same though. His kids and wife not home. And we're just watching a soap opera in the living room. He starts kissing me and I go with it willingly, but then pins me down and has sex with me. All the while I'm screaming crying protesting then he strangles me during this blood is like pouring out of my ass and I get sick afterwards then I wake up again. Also a child is watching out of the window. But he looks a lot like me as a kid. Also, my old dog is there, but it's his dog and he's chained to a dog house with no ceiling.
I had a dream two days ago. I'm in drag/look more feminine. Anyway, I'm drunk we meet at a bar like strangers. He keeps telling others that I am his gf/bitch. We start flirting. I get drunker and drunker because I still keep drinking. We go to the bathroom and I give him oral sex. But everyone could see in the bar and everyone's laughing and I keep going. My boss keeps telling me I'm a "good girl" and I'm like acting like a child almost complacent to everything. And there's someone looking at me that gives me the chills it's like he has intense hate for me. I don't know why. My boss walks me home. He is following us lurking behind but we don't notice. We start making out right in front of my apartment. And I open the door and we go in but I forget to lock the door. And the man from the bar comes in but we don't hear him until he's in the room I see him he decapitates my boss and rapes me with the object. I blank out and wake up in a hospital. The doctor's in the room his back is turned. When he turns around it's the guy. It's weird though in his hand he has a dildo in one hand and prescription pills in the other. Then I scream and I wake up. Also the man looks like my dad like me sorta... Just like around my dad's age.
ok so today I had a dream about my boss again. We were having sex in an open field basically. It's beautiful landscape. Very vivid color with plush green grass rolling hills and it infinitely goes as far as I see. But we lived together in a empty house it had just the outlining no walls or ceiling and decayed. I lie down in bed. The bed was hard like a table and the covers were full of huge cockroaches. Then I woke up. I'm sobbing before I wake up I believe he's behind me in bed he's kissing my face and rubbing my upper arm/shoulder. The hand massaging me had black sharp clawlike nails. I turned around saw a blurry dark image next to me. After that, I wake up.
It's not just sexual violence either it's just a lot of evil it seems. I am starting to think is my mind trying to tell me gay thoughts are evil or something but it's not just that I don't have fear of hell or anything though.
I don't get what these dreams mean? I constantly have dreams mean. Or why my boss is in my dreams?I just don't get what it's all about. I've never been abused in that way. But I always have violent dreams it seems about people I feel that way about. I can never really have normal dreams. What does it mean?
