Vivid, heartbreaking dream
Hi, I'm Keith. 23, Male. My whole life I've had very emotionally charged and vivid dreams on a frequent basis. I began writing them down. The one that I've just woken from not an hour ago was so heartbreaking I wanted an outside opinion. It is full of symbols and imagery that I do not fully comprehend. This is my first post here, please pardon me if I violate any forum rules with my post. Thanks
In advance. Here is my dream.
My friends are visiting me in my home that is half my actual home and a half a richly furnished restaurant late at night. The first friends to visit me are Stephen, Nathan, and Jessica, my high school entourage of best friends. We hug, laugh, catch up, smoke weed together. Another friend of mine from high school enters, Jovana, and her younger sister Ivana and mother Lidija. They're a wealthy Serbian family that was very kind to me in my teens after my father died and my stepmom had thrown me out. They carried in a multi-tiered lavish birthday cake that was jovana's. Lidija and Ivana saw the pot and leave quickly, Lidija gives me disappointed eyes. I feel extreme shame. Jovana stays and joins our circle of smoking friends and catches up with us. Enter Joshua, an ex-coworker, 17, Mexican, wearing his white red lobster clothes, and his mother Kika, who also worked with us. Kika spoke Spanish (in real life she is bilingual. In the dream she seemed to speak only Spanish and this was normal to me.) Her son translated. At first she was kind and polite. By the end of it, her eyes turn cold and i catch the word "pendejo" and she storms out abruptly. Joshua looks at me apologetically and does not translate the last part. I didn't need him to. Again I feel profoundly ashamed and sad. (2 mother figures that were once kind to me judged me harshly, theme?) Joshua joins the circle and smokes with us. Enter Mackenzie, a current coworker of mine and amicable acquaintance. We have friendship potential but don't know each other well yet. He calmly joins the circle without much conversation. He begins going through a stack of my video games in the corner, showing appreciation for my collection of old and rare games (which does not exist in real life.) Enter Chance, my current manager at Red Lobster. She is in work attire like Kika, Joshua, and Mackenzie. She tells me to be ready to work soon. (It is still early morning, 1 or 2 AM.) I ask her if I can get out of my shift, she laughs instead of answering, but in a kind way. Not cruel. She exits, her laugh echoes through my head a few times. I very closely think on the way she laughed, I'm not sure why. My stepmother (3rd mother figure) bursts in, carrying yet another large, lavish birthday cake in an ornamented box that looks like it came from an expensive bakery. It's very large, probably 4x2x1 feet in dimension. As I'm pondering the dimensions of the cake, she drops it. She claims that it was for her birthday, and she curses at me for not helping her carry it. I know she is lying, her birthday is in January. I say nothing and walk in the other room while she scoops chunks of cake off the carpet. I notice the cake is carrot as I pass by her. She is angry that I am
Ignoring her and curses more, threatens to throw me out. I rejoin my circle friends who are still smoking pot. We laugh and talk and everyone is acquainting themselves with those they hadn't met before. A stream of well dressed restaurant patrons file in the door and stand in the lobby chatting. From the circle I can hear their soft chatter, but I refuse to acknowledge them, enjoying my present company and not wanting to have to go to work. I unabashedly carry on with my friends. After a few minutes Mackenzie and Joshua leave for the other half of the house, the restaurant half, and begin seating the small crowd to tables. Exit everyone except Jovana. I tell her about my plans to enlist in the army. She is encouraging. I tell her that I have to go work, she is understanding, I say goodbye. She stays in the room and smokes more pot as I leave. As I enter the restaurant I am taken aback by its beauty. Dark, polished cherry wood laden with silver and ivory dishes and cutlery. A pianist is playing jazz in the loft. I sit on the floor in the corner, hug my knees and take in the atmosphere. I feel nostalgia, the sad kind. My stomach churns. Chance my manager comes to me and asks me to help. I tell her I'm sorry but I quit. She smiles and tells me that's fine and tells me to come back and visit. I am shocked by her reaction but say nothing. I walk outside. The moon is enormous, covering probably 20% of the sky. The courtyard is limned in silvery lunar light. The circle driveway slopes downward at a sharp angle, toward a mountain pass. In the center of the courtyard is a massive Rowan tree ( I don't know if this species of tree exists or what they look like, but mentally I called it such without thought,) it's root system sprawling to cover most of the courtyard, some roots as thick as
10 feet in diameter. I decide to climb. I hop to a root and walk toward the trunk. I notice a snake soaking moonlight on a tree root. At first I jump, but I notice it's body shape is similar to my deceased pet boa Vanessa. I lean in closer and it rears back into strike position. I calmly back away. I walk toward the patio of the luxurious house/restaurant, disappointed that I can't climb. I walk past a bush and pain flashes on the back of my right hand I hear pap,pap,pap! Three quick sounds of skin slapping skin. I don't have to look to know I was bitten by a snake. I've felt it before. I turn and see Vanessa in strike pose. She silently stares. I feel extreme guilt and sadness. I look down at my hand and it's bleeding extremely profusely. Streams of of blood are pouring into the grass if my throat had been slit. I sadly look at Vanessa again and pap, pap, pap, pap. She strikes me four more times. I think about seven strikes. I say it in my head a few times. I jump in bed sweating, the end.
Dream log 7/28/14
Notable Themes: mothers, disappointment, friends, number significance, cake, Vanessa
