Dreams about this girl

Hi everyone, I've been dealing with a series of dreams about this girl who was in my life for the past 5 years, and it kinda has been driving me crazy.

A bit about myself, I've first met this girl in person in karate 5 years ago back when we were still young. Today, she and I haven't talked to each other in the past couple of years, we're not really friends anymore, as she has been hating me for the past couple of years because she's accused me of stalking her on the internet. Of course now she's seeing someone else and it's kinda been bothering me that I've been kinda still dealing with these dreams of her in my life.

I've read up on alot of literature in my lifetime experiences and have honestly felt a spiritual and emotional connection with this girl in terms of dreams, spiritual and Godly things of this world. I've also been in the belief that I feel that God's been speaking to me audibly in my dreams a couple of times, and it's gotten me quite curious about looking up stuff of this nature. Thing is, she 'believe's' but she's struggling still trying to comprehend and figure it out and give meaning to God than to call him 'higher power.' And I feel that I failed her back in the past about that until I came to become closer and more firm in my faith rather than how I was back then when I was a very big materialist and sensationalist when it comes to the media, music and all those crappy constructs in the world all around me really.

I have a degree in science that focuses on psychology, neuroscience, mind, thinking and learning and alot of it deals with what I came to comprehend and understand of the world around me when it comes to the literature I've come across and read and how I've come to learn how it was all created and be able to be made to be understood. I'm currently in the belief and view that this woman is completely my 'twin flame' after having coming across alot of concepts that deal with this kind of phenomena. There was a great deal of familiarity with this woman when I met her, but I felt that I scared her after a while when it became too real or too good to be true.

When I first heard of her, I was kind of interested to meet her, which was an interesting pull on my heart. But when I first saw and met her, my heart jumped. I never felt anything for anyone like that ever in my life. We talked about some personal issues and things in our lives and it come to a point where it all just collapsed and fell apart, and I feel that I've made those mistakes to come and make her feel disrespected and hurt a great deal because of it.

My first dream was a sequential dream where she and I were leaving karate from our group and she grabbed my hand and pulled me aside and asked me if I loved her, as she wanted to make sure and she was secure about it because of whatever happened. She and I ended up kissing and making up and decided to ditch whatever those guys thought about us getting together. Afterwards, she and I went to my friend's house where her brother made the joke where he says that she and I were meant for each other. After that scene, I left to our friends house and told him that she and I hooked up and he tripped in disbelief.

Another where she and I were at a restaurant and she was all moody about being there and I was basically consoling her because she was dealing with some inner personal conflict and issues. I kinda felt moody and sad knowing she was feeling and being like that, as it really came and made me feel the same way she was feeling because I wanted to be able to come and make her feel better and comfort her.

Afterwards, I dreamt that I was back at my old elementary Christian school, where I came and went inside, and it felt like the mall inside when I went in. It was strange, because I didn't know what it was that I was looking for, but it got dark and pitched black. I was going around and walking very carefully inside groping in the darkness, but the funny thing was, my heart knew what it was that I was looking for. It was her. By the time I got thru the darkness and came across the end of the light in the tunnel, I was in one of my old classrooms, where I caught her being a teacher for the kids, as I came up to her, grabbed her and kissed her hand because I missed her and felt completely glad and relieved that I came to come and find her. I felt relieved and felt that a piece of me was back in place. I felt complete.

One more before our 2/3 year pause: she and i were at my house holding hands in the hallway, when all of a sudden, someone comes knocking at the door and we're both coming to see who was there. when the peephole got dark, I got scared, pulled her back away from it and said, 'get away' and ran back into my parents bedroom, as someone shot a gun/bullet thru it and we both in hand ran back together as I kept her safe and protected and guarded her with my life from whoever the assailant was. My aunt was screaming to my dad that someone was coming to shoot us and eventually the gunner came to where we were. I can't remember the form of them, but then I remember them shooting at our direction and can't remember, as I woke up after. I don't remember me or my woman getting shot, but I felt that someone ended up getting shot and taking the hit, my dad maybe or something but strange thing was nobody died or got injured or hurt, which was strange, but then woke up in great fear and terror from the event.

Afterwards, she and I were no longer friends for the past couple of years. I got involved more with school and graduated, she moved out and found someone else. I got involved in more spiritual things and felt that caused them both to come and meet up as I went to go and try to come and go after someone else at the time since I couldn't see any hope from ever coming back from scaring and 'stalking' her on the forum which left me with a great deal of bitterness and anger that I couldn't be able to come and deal with after a while. It was very hard and difficult to deal with really. But after the failed relationship with the same kind of result coming to pass, I kinda gave up on it for a while and kept moving on with my life with a very bitter broken heart and going on moving up with my life in this crazy strange hipster lifestyle with all my hipster indie music and all that stuff. But this was when I started having dreams of my girl from karate again.

Funny thing is, she and I still kept running into each other after she and I cut off communications online and she would still accuse me of stalking her and trying to emotional trap her to keep her around when she would kind of just make me moody and get all angry with me like she always comes and does.

A couple of years later, I had a dream where I woke up hearing a voice saying, "I shall deal with your anger." That's when I first felt and believed that I was hearing God speak to me. A couple of months back, I heard the same voice come up to me again, but at the same time, I saw an image of her in my mind's eye with me making love to her and the voice saying, "take this woman to become your lawfully wedded wife." Again, upon waking up again.

Recently, I started thinking and dreaming about her again after I dealt with a failed relationship in my life, which was strange after not talking to her for 2 years because I scared her on an online anime forum that we both frequent in an attempt to try to get her online friends to help our broken trust and relationship, and ever since then, she has been disgusted and hated me for it and never talked to me again and never been friends ever since.

The recent dreams that I've been having of her, was when I ran into her at this bar I've been frequenting lately and she was all depressed on the counter drinking herself drunk, probably because her boyfriend broke it off with her and she couldn't deal with it. But when I came up to her, she was smiling and she was happy to come and see me as I came up to her and said hi to her. She was completely happy and relieved to be able to come and see me again after a long 5 year fight with her.

Then, I saw her cosplaying the character Korra from that new Nick TV series Avatar, which she has been doing, but what I felt about it was that I felt her coming to fade away, and the feeling going away with it too, like it was fading away or broken, but yet, there was still that little spark, that strong natural high spark that was completely very difficult to describe thru language alone. It's kind of hard to explain, but I completely still had feelings for her. It was a completely strange and very weird feeling that I still can't describe, but it completely left this crazy great emotional impression on me that I can't seem to ever get past and over with.

Another dream as of recent was when she moved back with her parents, and my family and I ended up moving into the same neighborhood as she was, and she and I ended up hooking up and getting together. We both spent time together with both of our families, getting to know each other and becoming more close and intimate with each other. It was a very good and strange feeling to be coming to feel, knowing how it all became so familiarized after a while, but she and I basically kept getting closer, more intimate and felt like we were both getting closer towards marriage when we'd be going off into our bedrooms and having physical relations.

The funny thing also about my subconscious mind that I noticed, is that I didn't rely on the societal constructs of the stages of a relationship, but rather, always had this funny way of saying that our relationship was rather like a marriage, rather than a 'relationship.' It was a very strange kind of thing to be coming across, but it's something that I personally came to notice about myself when it came to the relationship with this girl.

But yeah... it's been a very strange and crazy road of a world for the both of us really... I'm honestly curious as to what other people and interpreters have to be able to come and say about this technically specific curiously unique strange case really. I'm rather very curious as to where and how this could actually come to be really as to what this has to come and say about me and what I can do to come and change the world around me for the upcoming future and so forth.