Originally Posted by Ginsan
I hear that a lot, "you will understand when you grow up", "you haven't seen the world yet", "You think like a kid", "you are naive", what am I, retarded?
What??!! Who said you were retarded? You're just young. And I know, I remember being 20 - you feel so much smarter than you were just a few years ago - but trust me, that continues, it doesn't just stop. Your brain isn't finished growing until around 25, give or take, and the last parts to grow in are the most 'intelligent' - the last bits of the neo cortex. After that you're better equipped to start really learning about life. Plus when people are young, unless they've lived a really hard life that made them jaded, they have an amazing buoyancy and joy that is precious - it isn't something to be ashamed of or to feel insulted about. Enjoy it. Savor it while it lasts.
Originally Posted by Ginsan
I'm 20 years old and you're telling me I still have to grow up.
You do. most people are still pretty 'high school' until their late 20's at least, if not well into their 30's. I know from your present perspective it doesn't seem that way, but later you'll look back at how you are now with a knowing smile and just shake your head. I mean seriously, imagine a 12 year old saying these same things to you. And it's not so much that you necessarily get 'smarter' after about the mid 20's, it's more that you develop life experience and things start to make a lot more sense. It's wisdom.
Originally Posted by Ginsan
You say you were a bit like me at my age, I wonder why people become like that at 35, 40. It makes me sad, really.
Don't be sad at the natural progression of life. There's nothing you can do about it. You trade the enthusiasm and recklessness of youth for wisdom and understanding.
Originally Posted by Ginsan
Not because they might be right, but because they think they are right, because they have such a grim and hopeless outlook on life. I can't stand it! They are so scared to make mistakes, to get embarrassed, to lose what reputation or social situation they have that they forget to be themselves. Man, I will put everything on the line before I lose integrity, I will become lonely, broke, frowned upon by everybody before I tarnish my soul. The most stable thing in this world, the only thing that doesn't change, betray you or die before you do is your soul, it is your character's supply of life. Your character is a reflection of your soul. If you don't satisfy your soul, your character will become dull, get rotten. I don't care what people think about me, as long as my soul is intact.
Wait, what? Grim and hopeless? Now you're just getting carried away. It's not grim or hopeless to be realistic, in fact it helps you to not get hurt when your innocent illusions are shattered. You can't expect everyone to live up to an unrealistic level of perfection, to be honest and have integrity all the time. People aren't like that. I mean, unless honesty and integrity are conceived as something that fluctuates, as everything in a living organism does, and will erode from time to time only to be renewed now and then. Everybody lies, and it isn't a terrible thing all the time. Sometimes you find yourself in a complicated situation where you HAVE to lie to somebody. Does that mean you instantly lose your integrity and honesty and become some kind of outcast or a grim empty specter? no, it means you're human.
Originally Posted by Ginsan
When that girl smiles the way she does, I see a beauty I can't find anywhere else, even in the best music. I don't care that she believes strongly in Allah, while I don't believe in any kind of gods or mysticism, I don't care about her bad habits and I don't care that she's not perfect. The good things about her outweigh the bad. Her soul is beaming through her eyes when she smiles and none of her off-turning behaviours or habits can change that.
Beauty is an incredible thing, and it makes us willing to overlook a lot of other things. But surely you know not to judge a book by its cover? I know, it makes you feel fantastic when a beautiful woman smiles at you, it's like the best drugs in the world! In fact it is - it's endorphins, exactly the same thing that is released when you do cocaine. Being in love is like being high. In fact not LIKE it, they're exactly the same (aside from the side effects of doing drugs). But it's an ephemeral thing, and it passes, and because a person looks innocent and sweet doesn't mean they are. A beautiful exterior can make it harder, and take a lot longer, to see through it to what a person is really like inside - especially if they've learned to take advantage of innocent and sweet looks. I'm not saying she is definitely like this - I have no way to know, I'm just saying it's a lot more realistic, and can save you from heartache and misery, to realize that people are not necessarily what they look like. And don't instantly take that the wrong way and go to the opposite extreme - I'm also not saying there aren't beautiful people who are sweet and innocent and pure (much of the time). Just saying it's healthier to be aware that most people are far from perfect and go to a lot of trouble hiding that fact, from themselves and others. If you go around expecting perfection you're going to be disappointed a lot and end up getting jaded. Those are often the people who end up grim and unhappy. Learning to be realistic is the way to avoid it.
But I suppose you'll eventually learn all this stuff - there's really no point in me trying to make you learn it too early. One of the great tragedies of life is that, when you do develop some experience and wisdom, it's impossible to pass it on to the young. They simply have to develop it themselves the hard way - the only way.
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