Recuuring person in a dream

[refugee]

Hi, I would like to have some help in understanding the dreams I've been having lately. Please excuse my writing mistakes since english is not my first language, but I will try my best. I am a fairly young woman but I have gone through a lot, having been in the military for 3 years and recently going back to school in the civilian world. I am in a very happy relationship with a man whom I want to marry some day. We have gone through very difficult experiences together and have grown very close, especially overthe last year. For the past few weeks, I have been dreaming about another man very often. We used to work together and were friends. At the beginning of our friendship he wanted more and said he was in love with me (though probably infatuation), but I knew he wasn't the kind of stable, patient man I needed and thought it would not work. We stayed friends for over two years after that without problem. Occasionally we would hug, hold hands or kiss each other on the cheek but it was always dismissed as a joke and nothing happened, although we did have a very strong connection. I do not really see him anymore as he remained in the military after I quit, but when we do run into each other, my significant other gets very jealous. When I try to contact him he often won't answer if it wasn't a question that I sent. I get the impression that he may be uncomfortable. The dreams vary a lot. Sometimes my significant other breaks up with me and I run to this other man for comfort. He takes me in his arms to protect me and kisses my forehead and acts as a savior. Sometimes the dream is more of a sensual nature (I do not want to say sexual because there is no actual sex happening, mostly kissing and cuddling. In the dream I get a very strong sense of intimacy, like we are one). Some other times he is quite distant. I try to get his attention but he keeps looking the other way and walking away when I try to get closer to him. Finally, sometimes, the dream isn't even about him. He is just standing there, watching the story unfold itself from the background. I would like to precise that none of the dreams are about having an affair. Either my significant other has left me or there is no sign of his existence at all. I know this is a long thread so thank you for reading this far. I would like to hear what you think this might mean?

[Karine]

i sometimes had similar dreams. maybe the serious situation of your relationship makes you affraid of commitment . is the relation you have with your current boyfriend the first one who's that serious? maybe you used to fantasice about unavalible men and now that you have an alivable man you are thinking of other unavalible men. maybe you are thinking of him as the unavalible one who got away, the last men you've met who makes you think of your life before your boyfriend, in that way, he might be a symbol in your life of your past relationships. when you are able to let thems go, you'll be able to let these dreams go. in that case the jealousy of your significant other is justified. if you'd never cheat on him he's not right to be jealous but you have to understand that it's normal that he is. just try working on yourself trough meditation, try to think about why you were unhappy with your past love life and how this one is better for you . it just takes time to get over out past

[Wakinyan]

If you dream about a person you really have no daily, important relationship with, chances are that the dream isn't talking about that actual person, but uses him as an image for a certain psychological content. If you dream about a chair in your house, or a dog you once had, or a castle you once saw, you probably do not believe that the dream is telling you things about those actual objects, but rather you view them as symbols. It is the same with people, even if we once knew them. I believe all of us have dreams where old school mates and past loved ones appear and even reappear. They are used to express certain contents, they are symbols in our dreams. If one want to understand these dreams one has to detach the inner image from the outer person. It is difficult because our immediate reaction is, "I dreamed about this person" and you start to think about him, and at the same instant one leaves the dream and ponders about the man instead. One thing I often do when I write down thoughts etc. about a dream, especially if there's a person in the dream who pops up from time to time, is to write the first letter of the name in lower-case; so if I dream about a person named Helen, in my comments I often write "helen". This is to distinguish the inner symbol from the outer person, and it makes it easier to understand the contents of the dream. Then of course the million dollar question is what the person in your dream represents; unfortunately that is impossible for me to say, the symbol is highly personal and only you can figure it out.