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    Thread: Ex-Girlfriend says she was dreaming of me

    1. #1
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      Ex-Girlfriend says she was dreaming of me

      Hi Everybody,

      Since about two months I am trying to find a possible meaning of a dream.

      My ex-girlfriend (who I have been trying to get back for two years) told me a few weeks ago that she had been dreaming about me: She had been dreaming that I had a new girlfriend and that this woman was terrible (this is the word she used). With "terrible" she surely meant ugly, classless and cheap. Then she told me that it was tough for her not to contact me (one month before I told her that I love her too much to be in a platonic relationship with her and that she should only contact me if she has real and romantic interest in me too).

      Here our story: She is 33 and I am 40. She is a classy and educated woman. We have known each other for 15 years and we were a couple for almost 10 years. She was and still is my first real love and I was her first boyfriend and the love of her life, too. The first few years things were great! Harmony, love, romance, understanding for each other and believing that this will be forever. Unfortunately I started to treat her badly. I took her for granted and gave her the feeling that she is not good enough. I pushed her away. Two years ago she left me for someone else. Her new boyfriend is married (though officially separated), has two small kids, still lives with his family and legal wife and is financially and economically and bad shape. Until recently he was running a business selling cheap, low class and obscene products but this company is bankrupt now. I am the complete opposite of this man: classy, single (never been married), no children, economically stable. She knows that I am still in love with her and that I want her back. I am still single.

      My interpretation was that she possibly was envious of that imaginary new girlfriend and that she was subconsciously thinking of coming back to me.

      Now, what is your interpretation? What could be the meaning of her dream?

      Thank you indeed!!!

    2. #2
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      I don't know. Maybe your interpretation of the dream is correct or maybe it is not.

      A completely different interpretation:

      dreams often are not really about the other person, but more often about oneself, and sometimes we project onto a dream character something we do not want to acknowledge about ourselves but the dream may be like looking at oneself from a different perspective. So the dream may not be about you but about her.

      Similarly romantic relationship in a dream may or may not be about a romantic relationship, but it may be for example about trying to reconcile different parts of one's own personality. So for example a dream about a relationship between one's ex and a new terrible significant other, may be about self criticism: thinking that a part of one's personality that one has previously rejected somehow relates with a terrible new trait that one wishes one would reject.

      I know that this is not an interpretation you'd want, but it is possible. The thing is that you could not decide which interpretation of this dream is correct and neither could I or others on the Internet I think because we do not know what really is going on in this dreamer's mind. There are many ways of interpreting such a dream, and the one I presented above is probably wrong, and the correct interpretation depends on the dreamer's attitude and issues she is facing, what's on her mind. I know you are asking us to try to figure out what is on her mind based on this dream account, but I fear we do not have enough information.
      snoop likes this.
      You may say I'm a dreamer.
      But I'm not the only one
      - John Lennon

    3. #3
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      Thank you very much, Joanna!


      dream about a relationship between one's ex and a new terrible significant other, may be about self criticism
      What you are writing sounds very likely. I was posting this question with the intention to get a more realistic interpretation of her dream, so your answer is very helpful. "It is better to hurt me with the truth than to comfort me with a lie." What you are saying could actually really be correct. I could imagine that there is quiet a bit of unconscious feeling of guilt within her. On a conscious level she is rationalizing her behavior towards me but the unconsciously feelings she can not control.
      JoannaB likes this.

    4. #4
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      The thing is though that I am quite serious that we do not have enough information. There are many ways to interpret a dream. I think my favorite dream interpretation would be as a dialogue between interpreter and dreamer, sorting it out together. If a dreamer says that an interpretation does not sound right, one needs to take that seriously in my opinion because it is the dreamer's dream, and thus the dreamer should recognize the right interpretation.
      You may say I'm a dreamer.
      But I'm not the only one
      - John Lennon

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