Please help interpret: Crying, wrapped in a blanket

The dream I had was about my special someone. I always think about him, almost every minute of every day. He’s the first thing I think of when I wake up and the last as I go to sleep. The dream happened morning of Jan 30. I was already awake at around 6:30 am and slept again. The dream happened around 8 am.

DREAM:

I was on an island with my special someone. We were in a high place, like by a cliff. I think it’s a bit dark. We were intimate, cuddling under a blanket (sharing the same blanket, no detail if naked). Under the blanket, I was above him and I saw his face (a bit side view), looking at me. He looks sad. He said something, I can’t remember the exact phrase, but it had the word “time” in it. I leaned closer to him and kissed him in the lips. We continued kissing. It felt real, like I was really kissing him..

Then there was this scene (daytime) where I was wearing like a workout outfit (racer top and shorts) for an exercise thing held on the island. I was with 2 other people, a male instructor (in the middle) and another female. I can’t remember their faces. While my special someone was just behind us watching while we execute the exercise routines (it’s more like stretching). This time, I can’t see clearly the face of my special someone, just a figure I think? My special someone caught my attention to tell me “your hands are lingering” (translated from my language). He’s referring to my hand gestures that were wrong, that they were not like what the male instructor were doing. I think we just laughed.

Then back to the cliff scene, it was I think sunset already. My special someone and I were wrapped in a blanket (sharing the same blanket). We were facing the horizon, both looking at pink skies. He was behind me, hugging me. I was holding and touching his arms. Soon I started crying. I think he was crying too. I felt sad and helpless, like hoping and wishing for something. From the cliff, I saw that the island was a bit messy though. It had some litters scattered on the grass/ground. I don’t know what happened next. I am not sure if it that really was the end of it or my dream was just cut off because my mom woke me up already.

A few days before, I also dreamed about him. It was just a short one. It was that I received a Facebook message from him that said, “Hey, how are you?” That’s it. I felt happy to see that I checked my phone to see but then I realized it was just a dream.

BACKGROUND ON OUR STORY:

I’m female, 29 years old, Pisces. In 2013 I moved to another province (an island) to study for 1 year. A month or so before my graduation, I suddenly started getting close to a guy (the man in my dream) also from the same course. He’s 10 years younger than me, 19 years old (Gemini).

I felt a connection with him. We clicked. I liked him and fell for him. I thought he felt the same. I was about to graduate and return to my hometown while he will be left behind (he is a local in the island). He made me promise to him that I come back. And I did. He also said that there will be no last between us. Two nights before I was about to leave, he hugged me and asked why I have to go. He said it will be empty when I leave. Then he kissed me..

But then on the day of my departure, something I didn’t expect happened. He suddenly dumped me via SMS. He said it’s probably goodbye. He said long distance relationship is just hard and he doesn’t want to make the same mistakes (referring to recent thing with a girl whom he had sort of LDR with). That the short time we had together was enough to make him fall for me. That he was already happy we had a thing for a moment. He was sorry for taking the chance. That right now maybe he doesn’t deserve my love.

My heart was so broken. I expressed my sadness for having to let him go, but in the end I chose to accept and just thanked him for what we had. What he replied hurt me even more. He said that it’s not only because of LDR that he thought he had to let me go. He was confused and thought he was in love. He can’t let go of his past (the previous girl) and he was desperate he wanted something to cover the hole and he took it all out on me. That he was in love, not with me, but with her. That it was all his mistake for making the move.

Even though I was devastated, I chose to understand his situation and cared about him. I told him it’s disheartening things ended up this way. But in the end I told him I hope he gets to move on already and that I am still here for him if he needs a friend. He didn’t respond anymore and that was my last communication with him (November 2014).

We remained friends on social media, but have not been in contact or anything since that last SMS. I am in the process of accepting and healing but I still check on him regularly. And just recently (a few days ago), I found out he unfriended me on Facebook. And it keeps me wondering why. I did not show how much I was hurt. I have not posted any rants/hate posts or something, but out of the blue he did that. My heart was pierced once again. A few days after, that dream happened.

I do not want to lose him. I quickly forgave what he did and chose to stay friends with him just to keep him in my life. Even though I think we are not right for each other, still, part of me feels we can be. There’s not a single day that I do not think about him from the day we parted.

What could my dream mean?

Thank you and I appreciate your help.

Well, if it were my dream, one thing I would look at is the hand movements. He said your hands are lingering. Meaning, you're still holding on to the past (checking on him, etc). The male instructor wasn't doing that - meaning, perhaps your male friend isn't holding on to the past as much anymore.

The island makes me think of your relationship. It is messy. Things are complicated, and despite the love you two shared, you both realize that.

The sunset symbolizes the end of something, pink hues representing a young love.

I think the dream is suggesting that it's time for the both of you to let go and move on. And maybe that is what your friend is doing by removing you on Facebook.

Just my thoughts on it. You would be the best interpreter of your own dream, though. Good luck and I hope things get better for you. :hug:

It’s not unusual for a dream to place itself near to waking so that the dreamer will take note of it and that seems to be the case here, especially because you’ve described an emotional situation that is filling almost every waking hour.

It’s safe to say that the dream wants to give you an objective view of your situation along with some ideas about how to handle it, but of course, it speaks in a symbolic way which can be very hard to understand.

Just to start off, and it might sound like an unusual idea, but unless the image of your friend in the dream was an exact photographic likeness, he probably symbolizes a part of your own psychology instead of the actual guy.

In women, this aspect of themselves as symbolized by a male usually relates to “mind”, focus and assertiveness etc.

Although not very romantic, in a nutshell, your friend might have an enormous attraction for you partly because he reflects traits of character etc. in yourself which are not yet very well developed just because of your age etc. and your fascination with him would be reduced if these aspects of your personality were more strongly conscious and under your control.

Because of their relatively not fully formed state, these parts of yourself are automatically projected onto him in a “fascinating” way in order to have you “link up with him” to hopefully finally realize that, in a basic way, only two “individuals” can really have a long lasting relationship.

That is, while there will always be this kind of fascination between two people, unless each one is reasonably independent and strongly able to stand up for themselves, the relationship can become unhealthy in that one or the other will control what’s going on too much (e.g. two nights before your departure, your friend says he loves you but then dumps you on the day you’re leaving, following this up with cruel revelations of why he had befriended you etc.).

So unfortunately, this relationship doesn’t appear to be a good one because, while a certain amount of pain and regret over a failed relationship is of course very natural and to be expected, it does seem that you’re still tending to react in a very obsessive way over the loss of this liaison as well as wanting to keep it going even though you seem to know there’s not enough to sustain it in the long run.

Perhaps the dream is showing that this attitude is not healthy for you but instead could become “dangerous” (apparently in near dark under a blanket near the edge of a cliff).

For example, unless you can decipher why you are so very strongly attracted to this cruel guy who is ten years younger than yourself, you might end up with a similar callous man who in this case was unfortunately just using you in a very selfish way.

Apparently, a certain part of your personality might tend to control you unconsciously too much (the male exercise leader), perhaps in the future causing you to follow its dictates as to how to “move your hands”, that is, to relate to others in the outside world.

If so, the dream might be warning that you could remain too unaware of this situation (e.g. the sunset is leading to total darkness on a cliff), leading to some kind of similar or an even worse painful and devastating relationship breakup.

For instance, it looks like you could generally be much too susceptible to relying on the opinions, actions and judgements of others to provide you with a sense of self-esteem and self-worth as shown by your “heart being pierced” at the simple act of his unfriending you on Facebook.

Anyway, without knowing anything much about you, this interpretation might not fit your personal circumstances very well at this very difficult time but I hope these ideas can be helpful in some way.

ATHANOR, Thank you so much for your very helpful insights. I really appreciate.

To clarify though. In the cliff scene, especially when we were under the blanket, I saw an exact photographic image of him, and he looked sad.

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Although not very romantic, in a nutshell, your friend might have an enormous attraction for you partly because he reflects traits of character etc. in yourself which are not yet very well developed just because of your age etc. and your fascination with him would be reduced if these aspects of your personality were more strongly conscious and under your control.

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I am inexperienced with relationships. At 29, I never had a relationship. The closest thing I had was an affair with an international student I met in the same school a couple of months before I met this special someone. That previous guy was in a relationship when we had a thing. He knew I wasn’t in favor of having an affair with him but due to my weakness, I allowed myself to be manipulated by him. In the sweetness of friendship I forgot to guard up. He pulled me into his fantasy with his words and I misunderstood for real. He told me he loved me, only to take it back when he was about to leave. It turned out he was just using me for his emotional needs for companionship while being away from his gf (back in his country).

I realized that for the previous guy, I fell in love because of the things he did for me (his words, he’s very caring, physical intimacy, etc). But for this one, I fell for the person he is.

He was broken. I knew it when he confided with me, telling problems in his family. He has never had a serious relationship too and the closest thing was a recent failed “thing” he had with the girl he fell in love with who took him for granted, which left him broken. I saw he had a lot of insecurities within himself. I confided with him too. He knew about how I was deeply hurt with the previous guy and how I’ve been getting over him.

Maybe I was drawn to his personality because of the mystery in him; the same way he was attracted to me. We shared some similarities in personality and preferences and I kind of identified with him. He seemed to see deep within me. He understood me. I was drawn to his intellect and ability to communicate; I was fascinated by his maturity in some aspects (which I seem to lack), his weirdness; I felt for his vulnerability. He said I inspire him. He was awed by my talents and humor, perhaps. Our physical intimacy, it felt natural. I was recently broken too, but when I started “connecting” with him, it seemed the pain the past has caused me just faded away. I don’t think I saw him as an escape – as something to fill the hole. I appreciated him for who he is. I wanted to love him.

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Apparently, a certain part of your personality might tend to control you unconsciously too much

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Could this be being easily overruled by emotions? How can I control them?

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…you could generally be much too susceptible to relying on the opinions, actions and judgements of others to provide you with a sense of self-esteem and self-worth as shown by your “heart being pierced” at the simple act of his unfriending you on Facebook

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This seems to be true. I feel like I am always being reminded I can never be enough. I have always been kind, caring and sincere to these guys. I am not even looking yet I seem to attract many guys, but in the end none of them actually stays to pursue me. I was always the placeholder. Some even disrespect me. I always get hurt because I tend to hold on to people who don’t put as much value to what we have. I feel dispensable -- that no one would find enough reasons to fight for me to keep me.

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"you’re still tending to react in a very obsessive way over the loss of this liaison as well as wanting to keep it going even though you seem to know there’s not enough to sustain it in the long run."

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He may have been selfish and cruel and using me as a means to an end was unacceptable, yet I believe it was something that happened to him, and not who he is. I wanted to keep him in my life because I wanted to know him more and be able to care for him in any way I can, even if it doesn’t mean having a romantic relationship with him.

But yeah, after everything that happened now, I should just accept that maybe he didn’t put the same value to what we had. That it’s time for me to let go and move forward.

MOONAGEDAYDREAM, Thank you so much for sharing your interpretation.:)

I have a number of subsequent dreams though.. hope you can share your interpretations on them as well.. Thank you so much.

DREAM 2:

I dreamed about a different couple from our school. They also had an awful “break up” in reality and in my dream, I saw the girl sort of badmouthing the guy about his recent achievement in his thesis. I didn’t see her actually talking, I was just hearing her voice. While I saw just an image of the guy.

DREAM 3:

It’s about losing a set of luggages (3-4 pieces). I left them in a cab. There was no appearance of the cab, just the image of the luggages. But for some reason I just knew I left it in a cab.. It felt real that I wanted to shout out of worry in my dream because I knew there were some important things in them.

DREAM 4A:

I was with this woman with long curly hair from my past work (I barely knew this woman in real life, she was just an acquaintance). She prays with me for something (which I can’t remember). She got a red thing (like a card) for luck or something and puts it in between my armpit (??) as she prays for luck. It gets uncomfortable like I wanted to scream at her to stop.

DREAM 4B:

A dream with my special someone in it, but he was a few years younger this time. He was wearing white shirt and red pajamas. I was sitting on a bench and he passes by while he intentionally hits my knees with his. He looks at me and makes a face like a little kid sticking out his tongue. I think I said like, “wtf <his name>” and then ignores. Some other people saw what happened. He proceeds to the male comfort room.

Meanwhile I was sitting on a bench with a table in front, and seated in front of me is my special someone’s friend (I am not sure which one of his friends and I don’t personally know them; just by face). There was a laptop in front of us; he was saying something I can’t remember.

Then to my side is another laptop/pc on a table. It is turned on and basing on the photos flashed on the screen, I figured it belongs to another girl from our school (an acquaintance, never interacted with her).

DREAM 4C:

I dreamed I was holding like a burning torch (it’s not the typical torch, the thing which holds the fire is bowl-shaped, with a handle and you hold it horizontally). I was speaking to someone about it (I can’t remember what I was saying).

Hey dreamchameleon.

I wanted to add some more thoughts about your situation if you don't mind. For starters, with respect to Athanor (and I hope I'm understanding him correctly), I disagree about DCs not representing other people if they aren't carbon copies. Yes, it is in your own psyche, but what I have learned from keeping a dream journal and cross-checking with close friends, is that many dreams are somewhat telepathic in nature. Meaning, how a DC reacts in a dream is often true to how someone is feeling towards you in real life. And, many times, people we know are depicted in dreams as animals or even other people. So, if you see one friend in a dream, it may be representing that person - or another person entirely. It's best to look at the context of the dream to figure out who it's referring to. Often there are subtle similarities between the person in the dream and the person the situation really refers to. This is just my opinion on the matter; I'm not trying to say Athanor is wrong, but I wanted to offer you another viewpoint.

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Originally Posted by dreamchameleon

This seems to be true. I feel like I am always being reminded I can never be enough. I have always been kind, caring and sincere to these guys. I am not even looking yet I seem to attract many guys, but in the end none of them actually stays to pursue me. I was always the placeholder. Some even disrespect me. I always get hurt because I tend to hold on to people who don’t put as much value to what we have. I feel dispensable -- that no one would find enough reasons to fight for me to keep me.

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I think the biggest thing is you're valuing them more than yourself. And it shows through to them. I think this happens to all of us during difficult times in our lives, but if it's constantly happening to you, I think maybe you should work on your self-respect and form a positive self image of yourself. They disrespect you because you are allowing them to; you value the relationship more than your dignity. They are valuing themselves more than the relationship. So you see it's not really equal. If you respect yourself and show that the relationship is expendable to you - that you don't need anyone else to be happy, then they will respect you more. Because you're respecting yourself.

Additionally, true self respect comes from within, and comes from you doing things in your life that make you feel like you're worthy. Get in touch with what really matters to you on a soul level. Virtues. Life goals. Accomplish something that matters dearly to you and you alone - not influenced by others' wishes for you, not for money, but something at the deepest level. Also, develop your willpower - it will help you to be strong for yourself. :)

There is nothing more beautiful in a woman than true self respect.*

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Originally Posted by dreamchameleon

DREAM 4B:

A dream with my special someone in it, but he was a few years younger this time. He was wearing white shirt and red pajamas. I was sitting on a bench and he passes by while he intentionally hits my knees with his. He looks at me and makes a face like a little kid sticking out his tongue. I think I said like, “wtf <his name>” and then ignores. Some other people saw what happened. He proceeds to the male comfort room.

Meanwhile I was sitting on a bench with a table in front, and seated in front of me is my special someone’s friend (I am not sure which one of his friends and I don’t personally know them; just by face). There was a laptop in front of us; he was saying something I can’t remember.

Then to my side is another laptop/pc on a table. It is turned on and basing on the photos flashed on the screen, I figured it belongs to another girl from our school (an acquaintance, never interacted with her).

DREAM 4C:

I dreamed I was holding like a burning torch (it’s not the typical torch, the thing which holds the fire is bowl-shaped, with a handle and you hold it horizontally). I was speaking to someone about it (I can’t remember what I was saying).

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Dream 4B: This one sounds like it's showing you his immature behavior in regards to you; him wearing pajamas, sticking his tongue out, etc. Like he did something (unfriending you on f/b) that was done to grab your attention in a negative way. Like Athanor said, he's been a bit mean to you. I wouldn't go so far as to call him callous from your description, but he is young, and not really thinking about your best interests.

Dream 4C: Well, it makes me think of the saying "carry a torch for". Which can mean being in unrequited love.


Best wishes, and thanks for reading my response. :)

*From someone who still struggles with self-respect herself, it's a never-ending battle I think :)

Hi again,

I’m glad that I gave you some ideas to think about regarding your relationships in general as well as the recent one.

It’s interesting that the image of the guy was photographically exact because a reliable rule of thumb is that only about 15% or so of the dreams that contain images of those we know are about our relationships with them. The other 85% are about inner aspects of ourselves.

The question of whether a person we see in a dream is “subjective” or “objective” is discussed in a very useful chapter on dreams which can be found in analyst Mary Ann Mattoon’s, “Jung and the Human Psyche: An Understandable Introduction”

Also as MoonageDaydream says, there are many subtle aspects of dreams which can make them very difficult to analyze, so great care must be taken when doing so.

As far as animals in dreams go, they usually symbolize the instincts and at times some part of ourselves that is not yet “human”, that is, conscious and under our control.

So my personal view is that if an outer person was actually pictured in a dream as an animal per se, the dream would be identifying the fact that he or she was “inhuman” or “non-human”, e.g. a psychopath, and that this would be, of course, an extremely rare occurrence.

On the other hand, if when thinking about the image of an animal in a dream, the image of a person known to the dreamer came spontaneously to mind (i.e. was “associated” with the image), it could be that the trait or behavior etc. about which the dreamer was possibly too unaware (unconscious like an animal), might appear somehow in the way the outer person acted at times, and this might also come to mind to show what was meant by the image of the animal.

But getting back to this dream, it looks like the dream was trying to show you the basic reason why you were attracted to this particular man, namely, that he was sad.

The dream might then have shifted to his image representing the “inner man” (your friend whose face you can’t see) and this inner man actually affects your choice of men by making them look “fascinating” in various additional ways as mentioned before.

Unfortunately, it looks like your “inner man” currently consists of, in part, a sort of “running commentary” of negative opinions and judgements about yourself which you described in such phrases as “I can never be enough”, “I was always the placeholder”, and “I feel dispensable”.

This could be what kind of “controls you” too much of the time and to escape which you understandably want to get lost in the powerful emotional release of falling in love.

From what you’ve written, this has ended twice in very painful situations, so the need does appear to exist to explore why this happens in order to avoid it in the future and to find instead a lasting relationship.

Also, in a symbolic way, it could be that your inner man is “sad” because his assertiveness potentials, for instance, aren’t strongly enough developed to help you in life alongside of your strong feeling relationship skills, so some areas of your life might seem to be a little stalled which also tends to cause feelings of maybe mostly unacknowledged sadness and frustration.

If the inner man was “paid more attention to” as opposed to perhaps helping too often certain types of “weird” and “mysterious” men on the outside, then he could help you to avoid being swept away and hurt badly later.

Gradually, your overall level of maturity which is currently strong in various areas would increase.

Just to mention that, of course, many women really try to avoid upsetting a pleasant feeling atmosphere but if this is taken too far, they can lay themselves open to exploitation by certain types of unscrupulous men.

Maybe a start could include brushing up on your assertiveness skills by reading a couple of books such as “Asserting Yourself” by Bower and Bower, and “Your Perfect Right” by Alberti and Emmons.

That way, you could learn to stand up for yourself in a diplomatic but firm way when necessary without hurting anyone’s feelings.

As far as dealing with the stream of self-put-downs that apparently flow through your head sometimes, the first step is to see them as being “not you” but a separate inner psychological figure, a “complex” to use the scientific term.

There are various psychological approaches which aim to push such an inner figure totally out of consciousness as a “cure” but in the end, it will likely come out in some other way.

If you are perhaps a certain type of sensitive, mostly inward-looking woman, you might like another approach which tries to enter into an actual dialogue with such a figure.

This shouldn’t be tried without some guidance and a very reliable book on the subject is “Inner Work” by analyst Robert Johnson. It also provides a valuable overview of how dreams should be approached in order to understand their meaning if you wanted to learn more about that as well.

Other useful books on the subject include Mary Watkins’s “Invisible Guests” and “Waking Dreams”. It is also described to some extent in “Man and his Symbols” edited by C. G. Jung.

Just as with this dream, regarding your other dreams, because a dream appears from the personal, specific ground of the dreamer’s life, it would usually be best to have all of the spontaneous memories, thoughts and feelings that come to your mind about each image and event in the dreams in order to provide an accurate interpretation, but here are a few thoughts about some very general possible meanings:

DREAM 2:

Dreams use analogous situations from the dreamer’s environment to help illustrate something of what the dreamer is going through.

In this case, a break up is involved which fits your situation.

In contrast, the girl apparently voices severe criticism of the guy’s thesis as opposed to your saying that you never sent any hate/rant posts to your friend.

Since you don’t see the girl while she is badmouthing the guy, this could possibly indicate that you’re unconscious of similar but unexpressed strong negative feelings in yourself about your friend, preferring instead to still believe that all you want to do is to take care of him.

DREAM 3:

In very general terms, a car symbolizes the dreamer’s body, their interests and how energy is used day to day.

In this case, you were in a taxi and would have been “driven along” overall by someone else. This usually symbolizes a generally “collective” and “everybody does it this way” type of attitude as opposed to a more “individual” and reflective way of “moving through activities” so that in the end, various unique potentials will be made real in the outside world.

Apparently from the dream’s point of view, some valuable parts of yourself are being “lost” in this way and you SHOULD be worried that this is happening (want to shout out of worry in the dream).

DREAM 4A :

The fact that the woman was only a slight acquaintance in the past and is not part of your life at this time points to her symbolizing a “subjective” or inner figure.

Perhaps in your upbringing, a certain connection to superstition and magic was present and though you might not consciously adhere to these beliefs at this time, it’s possible that sometimes, certain unconstructive wishes and fantasies appear (putting card in armpit and praying for luck) regarding, for example, personal relationships instead of working in a practical way to gain the necessary tools to make them work better.

DREAM 4B:

This dream where your friend appears apparently as a young and immature teen could relate to your susceptibility to “words” as you mentioned in connection with your first liaison and which probably influenced your next relationship.

This idea is supported by the presence of the laptop and a man who knows your friend and who is talking about something you can’t remember (i.e. something you’re unaware of in yourself, possibly your weakness for charming words from an attentive man).

In contrast, the other laptop belongs to a girl and shows only pictures, possibly implying that it might be better for you to trust your grounded emotions and values with which we usually assess photos instead of falling for “words” too much.

If you don’t, the implication could be that your emotions and the expression of them could become too “adolescent”.

This idea comes from the image of how your friend earlier went to the male comfort room apparently to pee.

The medical term for peeing is the “expression of urine” and this links it up to the free and open “expression” of feelings which shouldn’t be “held back”, just like not peeing can lead to serious medical problems.

However, if the feelings are generally “uncontrolled” or “adolescent”, it’s probably better to “hold them in for a while” until they can be dealt with better once things have cooled down a little.

DREAM 4C:

Maybe at this time when you’re “carrying a torch for someone” (being in love) there’s too much of a danger of yourself and others being “burned” (torch is held horizontally).

Anyway, I hope that these additional ideas can be helpful in some way.

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Originally Posted by Athanor

It’s interesting that the image of the guy was photographically exact because a reliable rule of thumb is that only about 15% or so of the dreams that contain images of those we know are about our relationships with them. The other 85% are about inner aspects of ourselves.

The question of whether a person we see in a dream is “subjective” or “objective” is discussed in a very useful chapter on dreams which can be found in analyst Mary Ann Mattoon’s, “Jung and the Human Psyche: An Understandable Introduction"

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That's very interesting. And while I certainly don't know anything for sure (how can anyone objectively quantify something so subjective and personal as dreams?), I do believe that it can be way higher than 15%. Just as some people have a knack for precognitive dreams, and some people are natural remote viewers, I think this is another thing that varies from person to person. I also suspect that gender plays a role in how we dream. Women tend to be more relationship-focused - and while I can only speak for myself, relationships are definitely a large focus of my dreams.

Another thought is that dreams are layered. So you could have aspects of yourself in the dream, and also DCs that represent other people. That DC may still be an aspect of yourself, but also fairly accurate to how the person in context is/would be acting or feeling. Just like you can have a precognitive dream that is also symbolic. Just some food for thought.

Anyways, thank you Athanor for all of the thought provoking stuff you've written. That book you linked sounds interesting.

dreamchameleon - I hope you don't mind my deviating your thread a little here. And I hope you're doing well and having better dreams. :)

Hi MoonageDaydream (also with apologies to dreamchameleon for turning her post into a mini-forum!),

Your subtle and varied approach to dreams is indeed the best one to take unlike those who tend to rely too much on a kind of “black and white” or on an overly “Dream Dictionary” method.

Usually when I mention the 15% vs. 85% objective/subjective figure, I use the words “approximately” or “roughly” etc. but I didn’t do so this time as I should have. Nor did I mention as you noted that both sides can be contained in the same dream.

This number comes from Dr. Marie Louise Von Franz who was a decades-long collaborator of Dr. Jung and an analyst herself.

She mentions this estimate in the book “The Way of the Dream” when describing how to distinguish between mostly objective vs. subjective dreams.

An example is given of a man who dreams his wife is stealing his car and asking how do you determine if it’s referring to an outer problem in his marriage or a problem within himself. She writes:

“That is the most ticklish problem of all. The dreamer will often be inclined to think ‘There, you see, that’s exactly what she is doing. She is forever taking away my ways of moving about. She is always interfering’…

To interpret these dreams correctly, one has to know the whole marital situation and have an idea of the wife’s objective behaviour. Then one can evaluate whether it is a projection or whether it refers to the wife. Sometimes it refers to both…

Generally, I would say that about eighty-five percent of the dream motifs are subjective, and therefore I recommend interpreting most dreams subjectively. One should always ask ‘What is it in me that does that’ instead of taking the dream as a warning against other people.”

Dr. Jung himself estimated that he analyzed an astounding 80,000 dreams during his long career and he too believed that most dreams deal with subjective issues.

However, the Jungian approach also takes into account many varied types of dreams including pre-cognitive or “telepathic” dreams as well.

Dr. Jung writes of this type of dream in “The Structure and Dynamics of the Psyche”:

“The authenticity of this phenomenon can no longer be disputed today. I have found by experience that telepathy does, in fact, influence dreams…”

So for me and I think for you, the discussion of dreams and how to interpret them is never-ending one which I personally find to be constantly fascinating and full of unexpected new insights.