Thread: Fishing and working with Plutonium recorded with thoughts/feelings and emotions.

Hi guys, Here are 2 dreams from last night. Bed at 22:00, Got up at 06:00

1st dream at 23:50
I dreamed I was fishing. I was using very light tackle, not suitable for the type of fishing I was actually doing i.e. fishing for pike, a fresh water predator fish.
I hooked a good sized one. I had the reel set so that line would automatically discharge if the fish decided to tear or run away which it did many times. In the end it was too tired to fight or resist and I dragged it to the shore. I remember feeling this doesn't feel right. either is no fun or this is cruel.
Upon bringing the fish in close to the edge it got off / I lost it!
I was fishing with a spinner or artificial lure. However when the fish came off and noticed that this lure was totally inside a smaller dead fish which the pike must have swallowed whole and deep and then spat out. I think the dead fish was a pollock.
When I had the large fish close to shore I realized I didn't have a net. So I felt bad for the fish that it would be dragged onto the rocky shore but also embarrassed because other anglers were watching. I considered asking for the loan of a net which felt embarrassing, but I realized everyone was on break I decided not to go and ask nor bend down and 'borrow' a net that was close by - as doing so would have felt like stealing.

I had not planned on going predator fishing. The only times in waking like when I have fished for predators with unsuitable gear are: When I was frustrated at not having caught anything despite many, many hours of trying OR when I just wanted to have fun i.e. throw it in an see what happens.

Dream #2 at 05:00
I interviewed or went through a job application process to work in either the area's or countries first nuclear plant. It will be clear that NO one employed had experience.
Although the state has an awareness of the nature and effects of working on such a plant, the state doesn't have any idea what actual physical or mental effects (or even what to look out for) working there will have for the individuals.
At the beginning of the process we are all in a single hall or space (more like a clear area of factory floor space). We are given a task to or exposed to something and then asked to walk by following a straight line around the space. Like walking around 3 sides of a large square. The people who veer off the line are assigned to one group i.e. the general operative group. I manged to walk until the end is so close that 1 or 2 more steps will see me complete the test but I veer off because I loose attention to the matter at hand. either due to the exposure or my own distracting thoughts.
The individuals who completed the task were assigned to the technicians group - which seemed only 1 level higher than a general operative.

We knew in advance that the role of general operative would make working directly with Plutonium. However when I saw it for the first time I feel horror at humanity for manufacturing such a product. It felt ice cold and was dark grey with very faint dark white spots i.e. like a dirty rough looking dark grey. The closer I was to it the more intense the heat in my body and around me. It was a horrible heat that felt like my life force / soul was been extracted out of me but slowly. and that this continued to happen but to a lesser degree in and around the plant to everyone.

If or when we general operatives had questions we were to seek feedback from the technicians. Before entering their space everyone entering from the plant floor had to be sterilized by a shower.
Once in their room or area we were generally shunned (somethings this felt like out of arrogance while at other times it felt like they just didn't know, nor had the any interest in learning), so we were always referred to the state manual which was supposed to cover all aspects of the work. I don't recall if we ever got the feedback we were seeking from the book.

After a while working at the plant I and others decided it would be good or that we needed to form an activity/social club open to all. We decided on chess as the activity. We met one evening a week just after quitting time in a large room in the plant - really it was a vacant work space or technicians lab.
After a while enthusiasm waned but the number of people attending remained high. Only a very few remained enthusiastic with someone buying an enormous chess clock which they put high up on the wall. the clock size was about as big as 2 or 3 large pizza boxes. However unusual for a chess clock it had only 1 face.

At the end of each working day we always had to rush to the locker room because the general operative in charge of cleaning the locker room, although a nice guy always went home bang on time. And if you didn't change would you would not have an opportunity to sterilize yourself after a days work.

At the end of the dream because of my awake real world work experience when a part of something was needed for the plant equipment I had developed a reputation for locating the part. I earned this reputation because I exercised my natural authority when dealing with lazy and self serving and corrupt employees who didn't have any interest in their job or evening maintaining an awareness of their job. The image of lazy Turkish people comes to mind! (sorry just my own personal experience!)

I overheard higher up employees saying among themselves, why would we move or promote me ? Just look at how efficient he is in his current position, a position which not nice and one we would never do, is critical but small position none the less for the operation and running of the plant.

When I first started working there a woman caught my eye (Hanna - who actually existed in real life). I sensed she also fancied me. However I was too closed to the world that she gave up hoping I would express an interest. However after a long time (years) I started to show an interest. She acknowledge this but because of the time lapse although she played along she remained distant, at least for the time being.
We even managed to spent time together outside of the plant e.g. she used to like the massage I was able to give during relaxation classes.

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I can relate to all the feelings and thoughts in the above but I just don't know how or don't see the over all picture.