Please help! No one seems to be able to!

Since I met this guy, I've been having tons of dreams about him. This is interesting to me because I've never really dreamed about any guys I was interested in until now. I've talked to people and posted on forums but no one seems to be able to figure these dreams out. Anyway the backstory is that we were seeing each other for a few months. Everything was great until it started to fizzle out...and eventually he just went MIA on me. Last night I dreamt that we were on the same flight, going different places. I just had the one flight, he had a connecting flight after. We were on the plane sitting a few seats apart and not really acknowledging each other. I felt extremely awkward and a bit anxious, and he seemed irritated and annoyed. I felt like he was angry that he was near me. I wish I remembered more of this dream. The next thing I remember is being in the airport and him still seeming angry...but also staying near me on purpose. At one point I even gave him a hug. He let me, but didnt me back and seemed annoyed... The next thing I remember is my family showing up to pick me up. I kept looking at him, waiting for him to say goodbye but he just suddenly was unaware I was even there anymore. I think most of this has to do with my insecurity about still having feelings for him but the symbolism of the plane and the airport really have me stumped. I'd be incredibly grateful if a few people would take a crack at it!

I always dislike threads asking for help on meanings of there dreams as unless we know you personally or very well we probably cant really help you. I'm curious how or if anyone will respond to your request. Dreams are a reflection of your conscious and subconscious mind and half the time there may be no deep or significant reason for dreams.

Although KingVincent is right that it’s usually best to know a fair amount about the dreamer in order to provide an accurate interpretation, there’s still the possibility of piecing together a few plausible ideas as based on dream motifs that have a basic similar meaning for many dreamers.

With this specific dream, you’re mostly wondering about the symbolism of the plane and the airport.

Perhaps the first step though is to look at the idea of a “subjective” vs. an “objective” interpretation.

As analyst Mary Ann Mattoon writes in “Jung and the Human Psyche”:

“A subjective interpretation is indicated, generally, if the dream figure depicts someone (or something) not highly significant to the dreamer in waking life – a remote relative, a long-lost acquaintance, a celebrity, a historical figure or a person unknown to the dreamer, or imaginary.

Used in relation to dreams, ‘subjective’ does not carry the connotations of ‘insubstantial’ or ‘illusory’. Rather, this treatment calls attention to qualities and attitudes that the dreamer shares with the dream figure”

The other general approach to your dream would be “objective” which is described as follows:

“But what if you dream about your spouse, who (unlike Cousin John) is part of your daily life? The dream interpretation may give you some insight regarding the spouse or the feeling situation between the two of you. Such an interpretation would be an ‘objective’ one. ‘Objective’ in this situation does not mean ‘unbiased’. It means, rather, that the dream provides a view, from the dreamer’s unconscious, of the ‘object’ – a person, animal, place or thing, and the dreamer’s relationship to that object”

Ms. Mattoon also brings up another helpful method of determining whether a dream is subjective or objective.

If the person’s image in the dream is an exact photographic likeness and not “different” from the outer person in some way, then it’s possible the dream could more likely be somehow commenting on the actual person

But if his image was “different” in some way, then the image of the person is more likely representing some aspect of the dreamer’s own make-up as a person,

Analyst Dr. Marie-Louise von Franz (who was a decades-long collaborator of the respected psychiatrist Dr. Carl Jung) also touches on the question of how to distinguish between mostly a subjective vs. an objective dream in the book “The Way of the Dream”.

An example is given of a man who dreams his wife is stealing his car and asking how do you determine if it’s referring to an outer problem in his marriage or a problem within himself. She writes:

“That is the most ticklish problem of all. The dreamer will often be inclined to think ‘There, you see, that’s exactly what she is doing. She is forever taking away my ways of moving about. She is always interfering’…

To interpret these dreams correctly, one has to know the whole marital situation and have an idea of the wife’s objective behaviour. Then one can evaluate whether it is a projection or whether it refers to the wife. Sometimes it refers to both…

Generally, I would say that about eighty-five percent of the dream motifs are subjective, and therefore I recommend interpreting most dreams subjectively. One should always ask ‘What is it in me that does that’ instead of taking the dream as a warning against other people.”

In this case, it looks like you believe that the image of the guy in your dreams mostly represents the outer guy himself but now you have a few tools to help decide if this is really the case.

As to the symbolism of the plane, generally speaking, dreams use a complex language of metaphor and analogy to express what they’re trying to get across to the dreamer.

Often, there is a long string of connections with a given analogy.

In this case, planes fly “high up in the blue sky” and “in the air”. The colour blue, air and the sky are usually connected with the ideas of “mind”, “spirit”, thinking and the intellect in world symbolism which constantly shows up in dreams as well.

In your dream, there’s tension on the plane and the man is irritated and annoyed by your presence.

Since a man in the dreams of a woman can often symbolize the quality and makeup of her connection with aspects of logic, thinking and the decision-making resulting from using these tools, it depends on your conscious way of using thinking to help determine whether his image is subjective or not.

For example, if your job is one of a technical, scientific, mathematical or similar nature, you would likely be in sync with this inner man because you would likely be competently and efficiently using thinking and logic in day-to-day decision making.

If so, an “inner man” would not be “irritated with you” for not paying enough attention to reflection and deciding on, for example, your own personal course of action by examining the actual evidence instead of, for instance, depending on general current opinions and beliefs etc. in society at large.

This would therefore point to some kind of objective nature of the guy in the dream although it probably wouldn’t show the source of his irritation or rejection of you in outer life.

On the other hand, if your usual everyday nature is not conditioned by a strong attachment to using logic and thinking to direct your activities, then the man within might indeed be “irritated” that you’re ignoring this part of yourself too much which also includes such attributes as, for example, self-sufficiency, focus and assertiveness.

Therefore the idea would be that you’re “separated” and “apart” from this inner aspect of yourself which usually leads to “tension” and feeling “extremely awkward”.

On analogy, an airport is a place dealing essentially with smoothly organizing the getting of people to the “destinations” where they want to go.

From the subjective point of view, perhaps your dream is showing that you have to do more to somehow placate this inner figure by working at developing its potentials in yourself so that he can eventually become part of the “family” who are there to pick you up and who wouldn’t always be “on a different flight-path” than your own which would lead in the end away from “home” and who you really are.

Anyway as mentioned, without knowing anything much about you, this interpretation might not fit your personal circumstances very well but I hope these ideas weren’t too confusing and that they can be helpful in some way.

Please feel free to make any comments or to ask any questions that you may want to about this particular way of looking at this overall group of dreams.

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Originally Posted by KingVincent

I always dislike threads asking for help on meanings of there dreams as unless we know you personally or very well we probably cant really help you. I'm curious how or if anyone will respond to your request. Dreams are a reflection of your conscious and subconscious mind and half the time there may be no deep or significant reason for dreams.

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Why would you come to dream interpretation if you dislike the threads to help people that you don't know.

Most dreams don't have much meaning, but are just a product of day residue.

Day residue is when what you think about throughout the day goes into your dreams. Intent, belief, expectation, or just plain old schema of this guy being in your dreams are all connected, so you might have had a dream about him randomly to start, but then you thought about it, and strengthened the idea, and then it happened again, and the schema was connected again, and on and on.

That doesn't mean that it means nothing or means something. I don't think of dream interpretation as your "subconscious" trying to talk to you, but a product of your "unconscious systems". So dream interpretation is more of a representation of your state of mind instead of your unconscious trying to tell you something.

Just to add to the discussion of whether dreams mean anything and where they come from, here are a few quotes from professional analysts:

“Dreams are a major thoroughfare to the unconscious psyche which…is vastly larger than consciousness. If we don’t pay attention to them, we limit our knowledge of the psyche to the relatively small segment that is conscious.

Do all dreams have meaning? We cannot prove that they do, but many people spontaneously record or tell their dreams; to them it seems self-evident that dreams have meaning. Moreover, psychotherapists and other workers with dreams have found meaning in nearly all of those studied. Failure to find a dream’s meaning is probably the dreamer’s failure, not the dreams.”

Mary Ann Mattoon found in “Jung and the Human Psyche: An Understandable Introduction”

“Since dream images make no sense in ordinary terms, people dismiss them as ‘weird’ or meaningless, but actually, dreams are completely coherent. If we take the time to learn their language, we discover that every dream is a masterpiece of symbolic communication…

We may compare a dream to a screen on which the unconscious projects its inner drama. We see there the various inner personalities that make up much of our total character, the dynamics among the forces that make up the unconscious…They take the form of images, and the interplay of the dream images gives us an exact representation of those inner dynamics that go on inside us.”

Robert Johnson, “Inner Work”.

“I was never able to agree…that the dream is a ‘façade’ behind which its meaning lies hidden - a meaning already known but maliciously, so to speak, withheld from consciousness. To me, dreams are a part of nature, which harbors no intention to deceive, but expresses something as best it can, just as a plant grows or and animal seeks its food as best it can.”

Carl G. Jung, “Memories, Dreams, Reflections”

“What excited me most when I first began to listen to my dreams was this sense that I was in touch with a great mystery. Something powerful seemed to be at work in my dreams, something that seemed to possess a wisdom and purpose beyond my conscious mind.

To be sure…special expertise is necessary for in-depth analysis of dreams, and, in cases of emotional or mental disturbance, the guidance of a trained analyst is required. But most normal people, who are able to cope realistically with everyday life, can gain fresh insight into themselves through a laymen’s approach to dream interpretations.”

George R. Slater Ph.D., “Bringing Dreams to Life”

“In interpreting dreams, it is important never to feel that the dream has been exhausted. At best one can find a useful, current meaning to the dream, but even this may be modified in the light of subsequent dreams, for dream interpretation involves a continuing dialogue between the ego and the unconscious…

In the Jungian view, dreams are continually functioning to compensate and complement (a milder form of compensation) the ego’s waking view of reality.”

James A. Hall M.D., “Jungian Dream Interpretation”

“Why should we look at dreams at all?...Dreams help reveal to ourselves the hidden parts of our personalities of which we are usually unaware. This revelation – for that is how is usually feels – has in turn, a profound effect on our characters, so much so that it could almost be said that we know only half the truth about ourselves, and our dreams help us to meet the other half.”

Donald Broadribb, “The Dream Story”

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Originally Posted by Sensei

Why would you come to dream interpretation if you dislike the threads to help people that you don't know.

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I kid you not. I didn't notice this was in dream interpretation till after I posted. I just click, whats new, all new posts, and reply to what looks interesting. I'd have left out the little rant otherwise.