can't get to the mirror

I was standing atop a machine. A machine about 10ft tall, 15ft in length and about 8ft in width. On one side there were stairs leading to the top of the machine and on the other side a coveyer belt on three big gears. It ran clockwise from the top left to the bottom right, back to the left along the bottom and straight up to the top again. A triangle formation. Sounds confusing but looks great in the pictures I drew. I don't know what the machine was for but It dicarded this small dime size, white, plastic disc's. Like it was punching holes in somthing. I am on the top of the the machine doing my job, whatever it is, when I find myself standing in a large room dressed in billiard colors. The wall infront of me is one big book shelf, wall to wall, celling to floor with the exception af a large rectangular mirror centerally placed. The books to the right of the mirror look like they had been falling off of the shelves when they became frozen in time, motionless. I tried to make my way towards the wall but I can't seem to get any closer. As I struggle to get to the mirror, I majically find myself in a truck driving down the road of a nearby city. My entire family is along for the ride as well as an extra passenger. My father is driving, my mothers in the passenger seat and the three of us siblings in the back along with some stranger. I am all the way on the left side and the stranger beside me. His left arm is streched out, palm against the window. His forearm pressing forcefully against my face. It hurt's. We pass a house on the left with gargoyle statues at the foot of the driveway. My sister comments on how she use to imagine sounds coming from them when she was younger. They scared her she said. The stranger replied, "It won't bother you if you don't let it." finally we arrive to our destination. It's the factory I work at. We're all in this room and the stranger keeps coming in with car bumpers and other parts. I leave the room and walk out to the factory floor. There is news going around that an employee has died somehow. everyone is sad. Things don't feel right. I go to an ex-girlfriends to get away for awhile. She is sleeping in the back bedroom of an apartment that is not familiar to me. I am digging through an ashtray in the living room for a smoke.

Dear My Reflection,

I'm wondering about the Strange Man in the car and then in the Factory. He is a 'Stranger' and yet he is intimate with your family, and instrumental at your Work. And he is not always entirely helpful -- he cramped you uncomfortably in that car.

Every once in a while in my own dreams, there are characters which I feel are intended to represent some kind of Ideal -- a model or example for behavior, or a standard by which to compare the self.

But this guy seems to be a family possession... a manifestation of some subtle family tradition.

But, anyway, back to the earlier part of the the dream. The Library where the books are falling off the shelf but time is frozen, and as you approach the mirror you find yourself in the same time freeze. It seems to indicate that you are in the midst of a Mental Revolution. Your knowledge.. the inventory of things you believe... are falling.

The Car Trip and the Stranger seem to indicate the nexus of this Mental Revolution. The Stranger has been your internal ideal, but you describe him as A Stranger. It is this alienation that is the core of the transformation. The death in the factory indicates a morbidity in the day to day workings of your life. It doesn't feel right, as you say.

I think you might be preparing to jettison this Stranger and focus upon a new more personal ideal. That would be the Quest for the Mirror.

I went to your Profile Page. You seem as though you will be well adapted to finding another Intellectual and Emotional Matrix when your inhereted family matrix, the way you were brought up to behave, eventually collapses -- when all the books hit the floor.

However, the digging around in someone elses ashtray is not a good indicator. You must be less opportunistic and more proactive. You can't just pick up what happens to be laying around by chance. You must develop a vision and go out and get the brand new version of exactly what it is you want. If you want some smokes, go to the store and buy a pack of your favorites.