my first ever dream where i saw my own 'death'

My first dream where i saw my own death

I had a dream the other night, that was unlike ANY other dream ive ever had, mainly because of the fact that in THIS dream, i actually saw myself (in the dream) die/dead, and in any of my other dreams, this has never ever happened before.

I only seem to remember this dream from the middle point of it, up til the very end. **IMPORTANT**: In this dream, i was myself (1st person view/thru my own eyes), UP UNTIL right at the VERY end, which was when i then was suddenly looking at my dead body.(3rd person view)

From what I can remember, i was inside a house arguing with a boyfriend, (whose name was Jesse). He kept accusing me of cheating, and we were yelling. that's when he punched me in the face and I fell down on the floor. Jesses mom then came home and saw me crying and then she started crying and she told me "he will never do it again", and that she was sorry that he did it to me?? The next morning my boyfriend's neighbors (two of his gangster friends) came over to jesses house, they looked like that "lowrider gangster" type, if that helps? They told jesse " "are you ready to go?", and then Jesse made me go with them. So we all got into this old, classic car, (like from the 60's?), it was teal/green, and was a low rider, ( I was sitting in the backseat). We drove around for a few minutes until we got to this house on the corner of the street. (I think the house number that i heard Jesse tell the driver was "318", if that means anything?? Thats when all of a sudden, jesse, (who obviously was pointing out which house they were trying to locate): the driver, Jesse, and the third guy (who had been in the passenger seat), all three jump out of the car, with it in neutral, and begin to open fire, shooting up the house and at the group of strangers outside the house.(who also, had immediately started shooting back). Basically,*
The three men that id been riding with had literally left me in the backseat of a car that became the group of gangsters shooting target. I went to duck down onto the flooring of the cars backseat, and as soon as i did, the first bullet hit me in my left shoulder, from behind, and the shot was from a pretty distant range (remember, the car is in the middle of street, the shooters were across the street). I remember feeling my arm go numb, and i can remember thinking to myself (in the dream): "this is really IT", im gonna die!" And then the car all of a sudden begins to slowly roll itself forward, a few feet from the shooting, and while this is happening, i can hear the mens footsteps getting closer and closer to the car im inside of, i just KNOW that theyre coming to finish me off..*
The car stops at the end of the road, which happened to be cul-de-sac road. One of the men reaches down into the backseat, yanks me out of the car, and throws me onto the pavement, face up. (The fact that IM not really seeming to even TRY to free myself/fight back at this point was quite shocking, too.)..i never once even look my shooter in the eyes. I turn my head to the right, and then he pulls out an assault firearm of some sort (like ak-47), and shoots me about 80 times point blank, right in my face/head.*
Then all of a sudden, im now looking at my dead body laying on the street, its completely SILENT. no sound at all, ANYwhere.. all thats left of my head is the outer "shell" of it, and the rest is nothing but bloody pulp.
Someone (it was a females voice, and wasnt my voice) then says to me: "come on, girl, we gotta go".*
And then, I woke up.

Although in order to provide a more accurate interpretation it would usually be best to have some general background information about you (and a description of events just before the dream), it looks like you might often have a lot of bad thoughts about yourself that you’re not very aware of (symbolized by Jesse and the other shooters) which say things like “You’re pretty stupid” and “You’re no good” etc.

When a person is hit by a bullet like you were, it usually represents that the dream is trying to “hit the person hard” so that they’ll pay attention to a problem that needs to be fixed.

In your case, apparently your brain could be made into “mush” if you don’t do enough to slow down bad opinions and thoughts about yourself which could “kill” you by stopping you from trying new things for example.

So it seems like this dream was scary and made you see yourself lying dead on the road to help you understand that something bad might be going on inside yourself and has to be stopped.

The way the dream ends shows that, to say the least, it might be hard to pull yourself together and to get up, but it can be done so that you can feel better about yourself in the future.

Anyway, I hope these ideas can help.

Wow.. Thank u, omg. Thats so crazy you say that, because u pretty much hit the nail on the head when it comes to the way i view myself, (i honestly cant think of ANY point in my life, even as a child, where ive ever TRUELY felt "happy" with myself), and i did and do STILL kind of believe that dream somehow, someway, HAD to have SOMEthing pertaining to my recent

Oops.. i mustve fell asleep last night while typing that last post, lol.. anyhoot, this is basically what id meant to type:

WOW... all i can say is WOW...*
Im completely amazed, omfg!!*

Ok, um.. here goes..*

I currently am seeing both a psychologist, AND a psychologist, for the past ten months. Mainly due to (shocker!): MY EXTREMELY LOW SELF-ESTEEM AND SUICIDAL TENDENCIES (which i started becoming suicidal beginning in the year 2011, up until now.*

Why?? Basically, i literally went CUCKOO CRAZY, thats why. Mainly, it was the result of coming SOOO very close to losing my oldest son, when he was struck in my driveway by a pickup truck, back in 2011. He spent two days in the hospitals trauma center, and the doctors gave him 50/40% chance of recovering from it (when we had first arrived via ambulance). He ended up walking away from it without ANY kind of disability/permanent brain damage, at ALL.. my son had only been home FIFTEEN MINUTES from the hospital, when he was then TAKEN FROM ME, by a case worker from CPS(child protective services), who basically felt that i was a "neglectful mother", since my son hadnt had his helmet on while being on his scooter at time of accident, (WHILE HE WAS IN OUR DRIVEWAY, for chrisakes??!!!)

I didnt get to see, OR even SPEAK to my son for an entire ELEVEN MONTHS after that day.. and during that time, was when i became someone i never before knew existed.. i developed a huge amount of paranoia, along with the total loss of trust for ANYone in my life, including my own parents. I basically shut myself in that house and refused to go ANYwhere at ALL, period. For an ENTIRE year almost. It got so bad, that people would have to bring my groceries to me, because id developed so much anxiety and fear of leaving my own house!!*

That was in 2011. Gladly, im able to say that things are nowhere near as horrible as they were back then, i still have the depression, the anxiety, and (at times, rarely) i do have days where i have my doubts as to why im even still here, and the feeling of not belonging here.*

So now i see my therapist twice a month, and also take daily medication for the depression. My therapist believes though, that my self-hate and low self esteem DID NOT "just start" in 2011. She feels that it may have ALWAYS been there, since birth. Yes, i have been asked the typical questions like "were u ever abused?", etc, and I have always told her the HONEST truth: "No, i have not ever been sexually abused", because as far as im aware or as far back as i can remember, i havent.*
So... after reading ur post, Athanor, the hairs on my arms literally stood straight up and down, no lie.

Hi again,

You’re a strong girl and very nice to have around as far as I can see, so don’t give up even though you’ve gone through a lot of things in the last few years that other people don’t see in a lifetime!

I like it that you seem to be straight up and tell things as they are.

Sometimes, a little child’s personality is so lively and maybe not like their parents, they can have trouble keeping up with what’s going on.

So maybe that’s something like what happened in your childhood and being sensitive, you might have thought the way your parents reacted to you didn’t seem loving enough when it really was deep down.

Anyway, it’s good you’re getting the help you need to gradually figure things out. Patience is the key and since you’ve done such a great job so far, don’t give up trying to leave behind the bad thoughts about yourself. Just keep remembering those words "come on, girl, we gotta go"!