stranger and stranger, excellent recall though.

Saturday, October 15th, 2005

My recall begins with me giving some girl a ride. We're approaching the bottom of a hill where the road comes to a "T". I can't remember her name but she say's " that's the place, right in front of us". I insist that she must be wrong. I take a left, the road bends around to the right and I then take my next right. I see a dormitory style red brick building outside my window. It reads "Smithsonian" above the door. My surroundings seem very familiar to me. "That's the place isn't it", I say. "Yes, yes it is", she says. I pull up to the building and we both get out. There are a set of (glass) double doors. Inside the doors is a desk which almost takes up the entire area and another set of double doors behind it. There is a black woman at the desk. I think she's a receptionist or something. The girl is hesitant about entering but I talk her into it. I wait outside because there isn't enough room for the three of us. I write my name and phone # on a piece of torn paper, reach inside the door and hand it to her, I tell her to call if she needs anything. She then invites me in. We are both looking at a state map on the wall. It's a long narrow state, I just don't know which one. There are postings all over the map that say "free jobs", whatever that means. On my way out I notice a handicapped boy with braces on his legs. The girl I gave a ride to, tells me I should help him outside. I hold the door for him as he exits the building. He makes his way to a van that is waiting for him and the driver is there to assist as well. "The girl" then joins me outside. Before I leave I remember that I am going to need to fill up with gas. Conveniently there is a gas station right there. My car is no longer a car. I'm not really sure what it is. It's sort of like a scooter only smaller. I reach into my pocket and pull out $1.20. It's enough to fill my tank up about 80%of the way. "The girl" wants me to pump and jump but I insist on paying. I give my money to her, two quarters, two nickels and six dimes. I leave the same way that I came in. I am driving up a hill, the pot holes and joints in the road are really starting to get bad. The sun has gone down but it's not completely dark. I realize that there are no shoulders to the road, in fact there is nothing on either side of the road. It just drops off on both sides. It's getting harder and harder to ride. My mini scooter is even smaller now, like a novelty item not intended for use. It's too dark and the road is too rough, I have to get off and walk it. Some guy who is walking wants to ride my scooter but I don't let him. Everything fades to black.

the following is a different dream...same night.

I am in a house at the end of a culdisac. There is an unsafe set of stairs leading up to an attic area. I carefully ascend the stairs to find myself in my friend Ashley's bedroom ( I've never actually been in Ashley’s room in waking life but in my dream I know that this is it.) Someone is here with me. To the right is her bed with the headboard against the wall. There are purple blankets and purple pillows on it. Across from the foot of the bed is her T.V. on a stand. To the right of the T.V. is a wooden display case, kind of like a magazine rack. Placed on the top of it is a web cam pointing directly towards the bed. It excites me to think of what kind of things have taken place here. I dwell on that thought for a while. There are also a set of pencils shaped like lincoln logs that when pieced together form a small skate board (weird). The wooden rack isn't filled with magazines, instead there is an arrangement of empty cigarette packs and lighters, all different sorts. The room is immaculately clean and has a very comfortable feel to it. I don't want to leave. Before I know it I'm outside looking at two beach house's. One belongs to my family and the other, the neighbors. They both have contractors working on them. Inside my neighbors house is another set of rickety stairs leading up to an attic area. I make my way up the stairs. My Mother is there, she is on the phone with some guy named Lennon. I get the impression that she is cheating on my father. She begins to cry and say's she can't do this any more. I take the phone from her and tell Lennon that if he ever calls or comes around that there is going to be trouble. I walk to another part of the upstairs where I find this crack whore named crissy stealing purple fabric to make a dress. A little blonde haired boy who lives there catches her and then quickly runs away. Suddenly I am next door in my Families house. The contractors aren't doing a good job, the entire house leans to the left. I ask my mother if she questioned their credentials before hiring them. She did not. I go out back onto the beach and begin goofing off with others already outside. We are having a contest to see who can throw this yellow inter tube the furthest through the air. I get hit in the back of the head with a small basketball. I turn around to see three little kids playing. They must be about seven or eight years old. I yell something to the little girl but she doesn't respond. I repeat myself to no avail. She looks all pixilated, like when they blur out things on T.V. I can't make out any distinguishable features. Oh well, I jump up onto what is called an astronaut rock. It's painted red and green and is no bigger than a basketball. There is another rock in front of me which someone slams their hand into and pulls a piece of it out. He yell's something and throws the pieces out into the ocean, skipping on the water all the way to the horizon. I return inside and hear the doorbell ring. I think it must be Lennon. I awake.

at one point in one of my dreams there was a guy with a very big chin and a transparent upper torso. He keeps saying "I don't need to___?___ you do". I have no idea what word is supposed to fill in the blank.

There is also this weird scene where I am trying to put on a pair of underwear that doesn't belong to me. It's to small and it rips but I continue wearing them throughout my dream.

NOTE: I recall unstable staircases in plenty of dreams I have had. It might be a dream sign. I'll have to pay more attention to it.

Hi my_reflection,

I refer my sensations regarding the first dream (so many things that they're enough for 10 dreams :)

It seems to me that you want to discard some part of you: the girl that you're accompanying is a part of yourself. At the T cross-road some doubt emerges, but a part of you is firm in the decision to get rid of something ("I insist that she must be wrong").

You try to convince yourself that whenever that part of you would be required, you can retrieve it: you give the girl your phone number. But at the same time you hope that you will not need that part: the paper is torn, it is not in good state.

You want to distance yourself as much as possible from this part of you: you don't enter the building, but stay outside while the girl is talking to the receptioist. Your fear is that all your personality and mind can be caught in that instituon, not just a single part of you.

In what consist this part of you that you do not want? The answer is in the repository of this part: it is both a dormitory and cultural institution, a sort of museum of ancient things and old traditions to preserve ("Smithsonian"). Is both modern (dormitory) and old (Smithsonian); it's both familiar (the surroundings are known by you) and stranger; it's both open (glass) and close (doors).
You should focus your interpretation on this building, there is the key of what you're discarding. And the disabled boy is the interpretation of what is there.

Then you try to calculate how much of you you're leaving behind: the calculation about gasoline and dollars and that mentioning of the 80% of the way.

Interestingly, at the end you do not seem to have left the girl in the dormitory. She's still with you, at least until the gasoline episode. You try in any way to get rid of her, by paying her the gasoline. But you probably need this part of yourself to have success in something important like job (the "free jobs" posters).

Without this part you feel deprived of an important part: the car, after the dormitory, becomes smaller and smaller, so small that you cannot drive it anymore. You feel without defence if that part of you is not with you: a boy is approaching you and you refuse his help.

In summary, it seems to me that you would wish to change some part of yourself, but this part is so relevant for you and so embedded in you that it is almost impossible to ged rid of.

eXistenZ