House with the Third Floor

[ManyRooms]

Okay, the sticky asked for detail. I hope a few people can wade through all this and give some thoughts. My questions: What do these dreams mean, what does the constant recurrence of them mean? What should I be doing about this or learning from them? I'm just beginning to get tired of them, of the disturbing sensations I experience in them, and the same thing over and over. Is someone trying to tell me or teach me something? **** BACKGROUND on RECURRING THEME OF HOUSES I've been dreaming of houses for at least 15 years--beautiful houses, with light airy rooms. Up until a few years ago, I'd always discover extensive basements, with many rooms, even shopping malls; often cluttered and full of things I don't recognize; always with an unlocked door to the outside that left me realizing anyone could have come into my home at any time. But now, the house always has a third floor I've forgotten. Floors 2 and 3 have many bedrooms--which my family needs. The bedrooms are beautiful, fully furnished, with bedding, stuffed animals, toys, books, clothes. But floor 3 disturbs us. It seems haunted. We won't sleep there, and we've all but forgotten our house even has a third floor--until the dream starts and I remember and go up again. **********BACKGROUND ON MY HISTORY WITH HOUSES. Between my mother, my ex-husband, and my mother, a narcissist, getting involved in our house buying decisions--I love older houses, but have spent my entire life in modern style houses of other people's choosing. It might have bearing, although I think it happened after these dreams started: I DO feel my home is not sacrosanct or respected as my home. My ex husband once hosted my parents here in MY home while I was at work. No one told me until months later. My father is an alcoholic who has in the past physically harmed me and threatened to come to my work to cause trouble. A couple times, I've feared he was stalking my house and had to tell the kids not to let their grandfather in if he comes to the door. I've spent years wanting a different house, looking at realty sites, even going to see houses, but rarely trying to buy. I decided to offer on one--a huge place, beautifully remodeled with 10 bedrooms, despite the very uncomfortable feeling my daughter and I both got on the second floor with all the bedrooms--but I hesitated in my decision and someone else bought it. I put in an offer with a friend on another huge house. It, too, had numerous bedrooms, beautiful and airy. I was disappointed and relieved when my co-buyer pulled out, because the purchase had turned into what I felt was a manipulative situation that was closing doors on my life. ************* LAST NIGHT'S DREAM I was in the usual house with three floors, third floor leaving us uneasy to the point we never used it and forgot it was there, until I went up. I think I had decided why not use one of the many bathrooms available up there. There were several vacuums in the stair way and at the top of the stairs, which I was surprised to find. Then it opened out into a huge space, a beautiful room with huge windows everywhere, almost floor to ceiling, and beautiful hardwood floors of a light color. There was a bust of Shakespeare there, and I thought I would use this as my office. It was all so beautiful. I wondered why I’d avoided the place to the extent of forgetting it was there. I had made one of my children come up with me. I was afraid to go alone. But looking at the potential office, I seemed to be alone. We went further in, and there was a huge, open area, in greens and browns, like a restaurant, in Bavarian style. I was excited about the clean kitchens—somewhere earlier in the dream, I’d been frustrated with my kitchen in such horrible shape. I thought now I could have family dinners with the kids again. I could host my son's wedding reception in this fantastic space. I could dance here, on the beautiful wooden floor. I wondered again why I’d avoided it, and thought of the joy I’d passed up by not coming up sooner—by being fearful. There was a narrow but soaring staircase—like a second floor OF the third, a partial floor above this ‛restaurant’, like a balcony looking down into it, with more space, very open. Suddenly, a person darted through. I didn’t bother chasing her, because I knew she’d disappeared too fast and I’d never find her. We continued to explore. Off the restaurant area—up on this extra partial floor—I found a room Victorian in feel, full of heavy old furniture, drawers full of old-fashioned business records, in Victorian-style floral prints and shades of reds, pinks, a lifetime of mementos and cards waiting to be sent. It was all reflective of a different time, when people sent cards and hand written letters. I couldn't wait to dig in, to learn the history left behind, of a different time. While I was searching in this small, crowded room, packed with items from another age, I heard a sound. I knew the strange girl was back. I went through one of the several kitchens, a very small one, and knew she was behind the door off this kitchen. I opened it. It was a bathroom she was using. I took her wrist, and sent my kids to call for help, not knowing what she’d do. But she went peacefully with me, down the hall into where all the bedrooms were. Like in all my other dreams, there were many of them, all fully furnished and full of personal belongings, not my things. We went into one. I knew she'd been living there the whole time we lived in this house. Then suddenly we were on the floor—she had suddenly become less cooperative. An evil doll was crawling across the floor—or was suddenly there, giving me the evil Chuckie grin. I didn’t know for sure that it had really moved on its own. I asked her did she know about this, and she laughed, and I knew she and this evil doll might harm me. At the very least, she did intend to continue living in my home. I think it was about this time I was jarred awake. ********** As above: what does this mean? I have what's roughly this same sort of dream over and over.

[IntheDreaming89]

Well first, houses often represent our interior self. These are things that are either kept private, or they are only talked to with close friends. Which I am pretty sure this is your "interior home". Finding new rooms often means figuring out new aspects of yourself. You are learning yourself better, and so in turn your subconscious mind symbolizes it as getting to know this house better. The good rooms are places that are things that you are finding out about yourself that you like. If you go in a room, and you like it; then you are learning something about yourself that you like. It is good that all your rooms are decorated, as this often means that you have taken great care in making sure that you have done a lot of work for you. That you are pretty happy with yourself most of the time. Now, we get to the 3rd floor. This suggests some aspects that you keep "forgetting" about yourself that you probably don't like very much, or are fearful of. This could be something that you are consciously trying to forget (like the pain from the past). You try not to "go there" very often, and would rather just "tuck it in the attic". Your subconscious mind is signaling that this isn't a good thing, but we will get to this... FIRST, you like what you see. This means that you are realizing that there are parts of you that are attached to these memories that aren't bad. Things that you wouldn't mind remembering, and bringing into the new life. The nice kitchen would signify that there might be some "home-style" memories that you liked. Maybe a recipe from your childhood, or friendships from the past that have gotten away. I also get this with the letters, and the things that you want to explore. You are realizing though, that all this stuff that was too hard to think about, also made you forget some good times, and good memories. NEXT, we get to the little girl. This is the first trigger to "why we don't go up there", and this means that these memories (despite being good on their own) lead to making you remember something bad (the little girl). Seeing as the girl is young, my guess is that this is most likely you at this age, or traits from yourself that you don't like that you acquired at this age (maybe resentment). At first the child goes with you, and you accuse it of living there. This shows that in your waking life you are finally dealing with this. You have "called it out", and you aren't going to stand for it anymore. Lastly, you have an evil doll, and the girl. This is signifying that you "called it out", but that it is giving you a good fight. You might even be giving up on "ever being fixed" (with the little girl not intending to leave). You believe that giving this up will "harm you", and this fear has cornered you into believing that you can't live without it. You aren't sure that anything you are doing is worth it.... I would like to remind you, that you HAVE done a lot of self work, and really have made yourself pretty wonderful. That this is the end of your journey, and the last "demon"(fear) you must fight to have full powering in your own house. It has been giving a good fight (the deepest wounds are the hardest to heal), but you really should do it. You can't change your past, and there is good that is forgotten with the bad. This is calling for you final fight for your empowerment, but it is tied to your father, and memories of a child.

[ManyRooms]

You might even be giving up on "ever being fixed" (with the little girl not intending to leave). You believe that giving this up will "harm you", and this fear has cornered you into believing that you can't live without it. You aren't sure that anything you are doing is worth it.... I would like to remind you, that you HAVE done a lot of self work, and really have made yourself pretty wonderful. That this is the end of your journey, and the last "demon"(fear) you must fight to have full powering in your own house. It has been giving a good fight (the deepest wounds are the hardest to heal), but you really should do it. You can't change your past, and there is good that is forgotten with the bad. This is calling for you final fight for your empowerment, but it is tied to your father, and memories of a child. Thank you for such a thorough explanation. In the past few years, I have several times asked of other adult children of alcoholics exactly that--is there hope of ever really being fixed? I wouldn't doubt at all that there may be things tied to my father, but I'm curious what in the dream brings that out for you?

[IntheDreaming89]

Thank you for such a thorough explanation. In the past few years, I have several times asked of other adult children of alcoholics exactly that--is there hope of ever really being fixed? I wouldn't doubt at all that there may be things tied to my father, but I'm curious what in the dream brings that out for you? I am getting your father very much in that dream. Especially because of the little girl, and the memories of the past. I believe that you have suppressed some good memories to try to cover up the hurt that might have happened before / after because it triggers that feeling. Sort of like having a good day at a friends house, and then coming home to have your father drunk and (did whatever). So then you have a hard time remember the fun because it leads you to "but then". It is definitely things that have to do with your childhood though.