Dream loop I can't see the end of

Hello. I'm a 28 male and I had a very vivid dream last night that just seemed so real that I accepted it as real even though I realized it wasnt.

I am very shy when I first meet someone but as I get to know them I will open up. I felt this very much in my dream. What I didn't like was not being able to see the end. I felt that if I know what I needed to protect her from it would all be ok. I never made it to that point. I ended up waking up at the exact minute my alarm goes off, but it was silent. I waited for the 5 minutes it takes my snooze to reset, and it went off. I can only assume that I was so deep in sleep I snooze it just before I woke up.

I recently started learning French again and I assume that's where Paris and the French girl come in.

I was still so tired after my alarm that I was daydreaming and filled more of the story in but didn't include it here. I think I did that just to give myself closure but it didn't fit with the overall theme and more importantly the feel and mood of the dream.

I was on a crowded street in a big city, Paris comes to mind. The streets were winding and made of cobblestones. As I stood there people watching, I noticed 2 girls kissing across the street and something urged me to go talk to the shorter of the two. She was about 5 ft with brown hair, French and very pretty. As I crossed the street, they had walked off around a bend and we're joined by other friends. I walked straight through the circle of girls and face the girl directly. I bent down to whisper in her ear and something told me eactly what to say, it felt like I was telling myself the right words to use.
"You like the shy ones, huh?"
The phrase seems silly and makes no sense, yet I feel it plays a key role in this dream.
With that I begun to walk away even though I feel I have already fallen in love with this girl and cannot let her get away.
After just a few moments of walking I feel her slip up next to me and take my hand. The rest of the our lives are spent together with no real detail, only feelings. There is love and joy, followed abruptly by pain and sorrow. Something had happened to her and I could not protect her.

In an instant I am back on that crowded street looking at the two girls kissing. This time I approached her again and said the same line.
"You like the shy ones, huh?"
Only this time I added some detail. What exactly I said is unclear to me. It involved a stranger yelling out the name Jack and something her friend was about to do. The predictions came true as I walked away and again she followed.
This time was different. I explained the concept of the movie groundhog day to her and how I was stuck in a loop. I explained I loved her very much but was unable to protect her before but I would do it this time. We made love in an abandoned shack in the countryside and the rest was filled with joy and happiness. But the pain came again. There are still no details as to what I cannot protect her from, but it feel evil and the dream takes a darker turn.
I am back on the street watching her from afar.
I approach again and use my line.
"You like the shy ones, huh?"
No detail this time. No voice whispering to me what to say. This time it is all reflexive.
It's impossible to say how many times I went through the loop, always playing out the same.
I am on the street again.
For the first time I hesitate, wondering if she is better off without me. I decide I have to talk to her.
"You like the shy ones, huh?"
And I walk away.
She doesn't follow and I feel my heart reak. I have spent an untold number of lifetimes with her and now she is lost to me.
I go to the cabin where we made love and break down crying. What feels like lifetimes pass, then the door opens and she is there. We talk and I explain all that I... we have been through, and how I can't bear to see her die again while I am powerless. She says she would rather die a thousand times with me at her side than live without me.
Then I wake up in tears.

Although in order to provide a more accurate interpretation it would usually be best to have some additional general background information about you (and a description of events just before the dream), it looks like the dream has chosen the plot and events in Groundhog Day to illustrate a situation that could possibly be affecting your own life too much.

For example, if you are basically shy and prefer looking inward instead of dealing with outward things as much, you might be in danger of becoming too much like the Bill Murray character in the movie who was “misanthropic”.

That is, you might increasingly “hate being around other people” and want to avoid them more and more.

This is understandable because most societies today around the world tend to be overly outgoing and are becoming increasingly attached to outer possessions and “success” etc.

In such a situation, a shy person can try to put on a show of totally going along with such an attitude but this will only make him or her unhappy and sad in the long run.

Going the other way and not really learning how to fit in with this type of outer society at least enough to get by can also lead to unhappiness over time.

So your dream might be trying to warn you not to be caught in a loop where you might understandably prefer living in a certain kind of fantasy regarding “how important you appear to others”, for example, when you haven’t really accomplished actual outer goals.

You could naturally feel a strong pressure from outside to be “like everyone else” in being “successful” and “popular” in a certain accepted way but maybe can’t really pull it off in a consistent way that’s “demanded” by an overly extroverted society.

In this way of looking at your dream, the pretty girl would symbolize such a fantasy life and how much you could be attracted to it.

For instance, if you are mostly shy and prefer ideas or logic etc. instead of being with people per se, your abilities in dealing with outer practical realities and values might tend to be undeveloped.

So the girl is an inner psychological figure who could kind of let you pretend that you’re overly successful and accomplished etc. in outer life when you aren’t really that way in all aspects.

This idea is symbolized by the fact that she “likes the shy ones”, that is, she will go along with making such a person feel that everything is OK when it’s not (e.g. you repeatedly live together in blissful circumstances).

However, too much of a fantasy-life can end badly (e.g. something bad always happens to the girl which you can’t prevent).

This would happen because you’re not aware enough of the inner situation that avoids certain parts of practical reality and which could therefore continue “forever” until you break out of the loop.

For example, the Bill Murray character is caught in the town because of a blizzard. This could represent the fact that his emotions are shut down too much so that he doesn’t feel connected with others genuinely enough.

Because of this, he is caught in a loop and although he tries everything to get out of it (seduces women, steals money, gets drunk, drives recklessly, and gets thrown in jail etc. etc.), nothing works until he actually uses his knowledge and experience to help others in a reasonable way.

So you might be like the Bill Murray character in some ways and be successful in your job etc. but not too successful in another area of your life which involves being close enough to at least a few people and being helpful in their lives.

If any of these ideas seem to fit your personal situation in some way, you might like the book “The Introvert Advantage: How to Thrive in an Extrovert World” by Marti Olsen Laney, Psy.D.

Also, while daydreaming about a dream can be helpful in exploring its meaning, this has to be done in the correct way, so you might like to read analyst Robert Johnson’s “Inner Work” which describes the right technique and which also describes how to interpret dreams in a reliable way.

Anyway as mentioned, without knowing anything much about you, this way of looking at your dream might not fit your personal circumstances very well, but I hope these ideas can be helpful in some way.

Please feel free to ask any questions or to make any comments about this particular way of looking at your dream.

I work as a Team Lead for the Quality dept at a manufacturing facility. I like my job minus the people. I don't want to be a supervisor but I am being pushed in that direction at work.
I'm married with three kids. None of which were planned. We never wanted to have kids and my wide was on birth control but I guess she's the .01%.
I live in the country 20 miles from town and have no social interaction besides work and church.

So your reply felt like it hit the nail on the head. The only place I ever feel open is the Internet where it's anonymous, and they want to make me a salary manager, but I prefer to work alone.

Maybe to help handle the problem at work where they want to make you a supervisor, it would be good to work out what you need to say to them by reading a book like “Asserting Yourself” by Bower and Bower.

That way, you could get your point across about not really wanting to be a supervisor without upsetting the bosses and this could help you to stay in your current job which you like.

This book and the others I mentioned could be ordered on the Internet from such sites as Amazon or Barnes and Noble for example even if they’re not based in the country where you live.

I hope this helps.