Okay, the sticky asked for detail. I hope a few people can wade through all this and give some thoughts.
My questions: What do these dreams mean, what does the constant recurrence of them mean? What should I be doing about this or learning from them? I'm just beginning to get tired of them, of the disturbing sensations I experience in them, and the same thing over and over. Is someone trying to tell me or teach me something?
**** BACKGROUND on RECURRING THEME OF HOUSES
I've been dreaming of houses for at least 15 years--beautiful houses, with light airy rooms. Up until a few years ago, I'd always discover extensive basements, with many rooms, even shopping malls; often cluttered and full of things I don't recognize; always with an unlocked door to the outside that left me realizing anyone could have come into my home at any time.
But now, the house always has a third floor I've forgotten. Floors 2 and 3 have many bedrooms--which my family needs. The bedrooms are beautiful, fully furnished, with bedding, stuffed animals, toys, books, clothes. But floor 3 disturbs us. It seems haunted. We won't sleep there, and we've all but forgotten our house even has a third floor--until the dream starts and I remember and go up again.
**********BACKGROUND ON MY HISTORY WITH HOUSES. Between my mother, my ex-husband, and my mother, a narcissist, getting involved in our house buying decisions--I love older houses, but have spent my entire life in modern style houses of other people's choosing.
It might have bearing, although I think it happened after these dreams started: I DO feel my home is not sacrosanct or respected as my home. My ex husband once hosted my parents here in MY home while I was at work. No one told me until months later. My father is an alcoholic who has in the past physically harmed me and threatened to come to my work to cause trouble. A couple times, I've feared he was stalking my house and had to tell the kids not to let their grandfather in if he comes to the door.
I've spent years wanting a different house, looking at realty sites, even going to see houses, but rarely trying to buy. I decided to offer on one--a huge place, beautifully remodeled with 10 bedrooms, despite the very uncomfortable feeling my daughter and I both got on the second floor with all the bedrooms--but I hesitated in my decision and someone else bought it.
I put in an offer with a friend on another huge house. It, too, had numerous bedrooms, beautiful and airy. I was disappointed and relieved when my co-buyer pulled out, because the purchase had turned into what I felt was a manipulative situation that was closing doors on my life.
*************
LAST NIGHT'S DREAM
I was in the usual house with three floors, third floor leaving us uneasy to the point we never used it and forgot it was there, until I went up. I think I had decided why not use one of the many bathrooms available up there. There were several vacuums in the stair way and at the top of the stairs, which I was surprised to find. Then it opened out into a huge space, a beautiful room with huge windows everywhere, almost floor to ceiling, and beautiful hardwood floors of a light color. There was a bust of Shakespeare there, and I thought I would use this as my office. It was all so beautiful. I wondered why I’d avoided the place to the extent of forgetting it was there.
I had made one of my children come up with me. I was afraid to go alone. But looking at the potential office, I seemed to be alone. We went further in, and there was a huge, open area, in greens and browns, like a restaurant, in Bavarian style. I was excited about the clean kitchens—somewhere earlier in the dream, I’d been frustrated with my kitchen in such horrible shape.
I thought now I could have family dinners with the kids again. I could host my son's wedding reception in this fantastic space. I could dance here, on the beautiful wooden floor. I wondered again why I’d avoided it, and thought of the joy I’d passed up by not coming up sooner—by being fearful.
There was a narrow but soaring staircase—like a second floor OF the third, a partial floor above this ‛restaurant’, like a balcony looking down into it, with more space, very open.
Suddenly, a person darted through. I didn’t bother chasing her, because I knew she’d disappeared too fast and I’d never find her. We continued to explore. Off the restaurant area—up on this extra partial floor—I found a room Victorian in feel, full of heavy old furniture, drawers full of old-fashioned business records, in Victorian-style floral prints and shades of reds, pinks, a lifetime of mementos and cards waiting to be sent. It was all reflective of a different time, when people sent cards and hand written letters. I couldn't wait to dig in, to learn the history left behind, of a different time.
While I was searching in this small, crowded room, packed with items from another age, I heard a sound. I knew the strange girl was back. I went through one of the several kitchens, a very small one, and knew she was behind the door off this kitchen. I opened it. It was a bathroom she was using. I took her wrist, and sent my kids to call for help, not knowing what she’d do.
But she went peacefully with me, down the hall into where all the bedrooms were. Like in all my other dreams, there were many of them, all fully furnished and full of personal belongings, not my things. We went into one. I knew she'd been living there the whole time we lived in this house. Then suddenly we were on the floor—she had suddenly become less cooperative. An evil doll was crawling across the floor—or was suddenly there, giving me the evil Chuckie grin. I didn’t know for sure that it had really moved on its own. I asked her did she know about this, and she laughed, and I knew she and this evil doll might harm me. At the very least, she did intend to continue living in my home.
I think it was about this time I was jarred awake.
**********
As above: what does this mean? I have what's roughly this same sort of dream over and over.
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