I was a sex slave, but I was someone else

I woke up this morning feeling absolutely frightened and traumatized. I am currently pregnant, just married to a wonderful man, and stuck in a high stress job that I need. Cost of living is very high where we live and it is expected of most women to return to work once the baby is born. I always thought I would be the kind of woman who was a wonderful mother with a thriving career, but now that the time has come, I want nothing more than to be the one caring for my future child.

The dream started off with me, as myself, going to a secret indie rock show with friends. I remember the drive being quite spooky, in dark woods. Our car was the only one I could see. I don't remember the show itself, but I remember people dying from fireworks gone wrong. I can't remember anything in between, but the next thing I can recall was that I was someone else entirely, begging some man for more drugs, the drugs he used to brainwash me. I was naked in his bedroom, I never got to see his face. The forced sex was "normal" at first, but then I started to become more conscious and tried to escape. I tried using his computer as he slept. He woke up so I said I was just checking the music. Then he forced me to have sex with razor blades attached to him. I had to be careful not to cut myself. I ended up drugging him and tried to escape. His property was expansive and very woodsy. There I saw his mother, who he killed, hanging from a tree. I screamed, which gave away my location. He and his assistant shot me with an arrow and I died. The odd thing is, the dream continued. I was now viewing the dream as a third person from above, and I remember thinking "if I obeyed him I may have been set free like the last girl". And that's when I woke up. I know that dreams during pregnancy can be extremely vivid, but this is just so bizarre and twisted that I need to have it interpreted. I am so freaked out. Please help!

Although in order to provide a more accurate interpretation it would usually be best to have some additional general background information about you (and a description of events just before this very frightening dream), it looks like the dream, although horrific, is trying to expand on and make sense of the apparently recent concerns you’ve had about caring for your future child.

For example, it maybe is taking you further into your situation beyond the already upsetting realities of the high cost of living where you are and the expectations of employers that new mothers return to work once the baby is born.

This would be symbolized by the drive into the dark woods to see the secret indie rock show, where the woods and darkness represent your lack of awareness about certain issues, and the music of the rock show, although unheard, could signify a kind of frenetic atmosphere that surrounds the values (music) of most societies in to-day’s world.

The fireworks could possibly denote something like the “flashy” atmosphere of high stress jobs as a whole where various spectacular successes are admired and applauded, but as the dream points out, such “fireworks” can at times kill people whether psychologically or physically.

In the dream, you then become someone else, possibly the dream’s way of saying that you should be careful not to be “brainwashed” and to lose your personal identity in any such highly charged atmosphere.

From the dream’s point of view, this would be a terrible loss to say the least (e.g. the new you is an addict and sex slave).

To help to explain this frightening symbolism, here is an excerpt from “Dream Child: Creation and Life in Dreams of Pregnant Women” by Jungian analysts Regina Apt, Irmgard Bosch, and Vivienne MacKrell:

“Dreams of expectant women frequently comprise particularly fierce attacks directed to woman or child on the part of a man (often a stranger, sometimes the dreamer’s own husband). He will often try to force her to make love or will actually rape her.

… on the subjective level, we are dealing with an autonomous, negative, unconscious complex that is trying to take control of the ego. Contrary to the differentiated ego of woman, the ‘male aspect in woman’ has often archaic, primitive features and has remained undifferentiated.

[This inner figure who takes the form of a rapist] seeks to control her, to make her pregnant himself. This way he could force on her his negative and destructive rigid opinions and destroy the nascent life in her that, on the subjective level, signifies the most recent opportunity for her own development.

The negative animus is therefore not merely unnatural but actually hostile to life…”

In your dream, this is shown in an appalling way by having a “mother” killed and left hanging from a tree.

Also, any expression of a natural emotion is instantly punished by death (e.g. you scream in horror and are shot dead by the man and his assistant).

A contrast then occurs where you’re apparently calmly observing the scene from above (e.g. probably from an intellectual point of view) and make what appears to be a doubtful deduction in believing that by being obedient to such a man, he would have set you free.

The way the dream ends is probably saying something like “It would be a good idea for you rethink this overall situation more carefully”, leaving it up to you, the ego, to make whatever changes in your attitudes etc. may be appropriate in the circumstances.

Anyway, I hope that these brief ideas can be helpful in exploring more fully this frightening dream which all the same is trying to help you at a central transition point in your life.

Please feel free to ask any questions or to make any comments about this particular way of looking at your dream.

Thank you so much for this very detailed description. So does the antagonist in my nightmare represent the expectations of me?

In general, it looks like the antagonist means that you could unfortunately have certain mostly unconscious fixed opinions or beliefs etc. along the lines of “I must be a perfectionist or I’m nothing”, “Obtaining power and money is the only worthwhile goal in life” etc.

If so, you could tend to be susceptible to bending too much in the presence of any outside pressures which pushed you in the direction of fulfilling this category of unconscious goals.

It can of course be very shocking to realize that we have any such attitudes when we were previously mostly unaware of them or of their impact.

Understandably, it takes a while to explore and reflect on the possibility of this kind of situation.

If you’d like to examine more fully the idea of this inner male figure which affects the behaviour of women (just like an equivalent inner female figure affects that of men), a general overview is presented in one of the chapters of “Man and his Symbols” edited by Carl Jung.

A more detailed description makes up “The Ravaged Bridegroom” by analyst Marion Woodman.

A comprehensive but lively and interesting analysis can be found in “The Animus: The Spirit of Inner Truth in Women” by analyst Barbara Hannah. It’s contained in two volumes and maybe you could try one to see if you like her engaging style.

I hope this helps to clarify the meaning of the man in your dream and please don’t hesitate to let me know if you have any further questions or comments.

I think simply the whole thing is that you fear your independence instead of being a celebration can go wrong, as you no longer want to have to work.
But marriage, or the man therefore, will force you to, due to needing money, compromising you bringing up baby.
You will feel like a slave doing what you don't want to which can hurt you.

DETAILS:
Turning you into someone else than who you are, being controlled by the man, relatively.
This strips your character, makes him unknown like you, like a forced union made to seem normal.
Becoming aware, you want to escape it.
Maybe seeing if there is any unaware thinking to try to change it, checking if this would be enjoyable with him, but he is awake to it.
You see the union this way would hurt, as you feel forced. You have to be careful not to hurt yourself.

So you want to put this idea to sleep or control him to get out of it.
But the trouble seems expansive, and chokes and kills your being a mother from growing.
Your fear gives you away and will target you.

After was your overview maybe of the alternative that if you could just obey him or the tradition, you wouldn't have this problem.
Your situation is ironic in that most modern women want a career as well as kids.

Obviously it's no reflection on him, just the situation.