FEAR And ACCEPTANCE
Your life now seems to be a different universe. The way it works or to make it work is very different.
Somewhat alive but also mechanical. The sadness puts you in connection with your emotions.
Maybe you don't want the powerful thing controlling you that hasn't got your interests at heart.
You are hiding behind what was destroyed. Maybe you don't have anger or defense and whatever it is that you have is better - like acceptance - which keeps you from harm, or I think more maybe your values in bringing up your kids.
6 - 16
You think how good life will be til your kids are 6.
Both being girls might mean the female influence is now out of their lives, and you would have to compensate.
Then you think ahead to all the good times up to 16, nearing adulthood.
REAL Or NOT
Now your fear finds you.
Are you horrified at the thought of telling them you are not their real (as in biological) father? Hence they are not real.
Or if they know, maybe you fear not being it.
Or is it bringing them up alone?
Your wife is the real or biological mother (the daughter whose face you cannot see) whose role is negligible.
Perhaps that corporation was the powers that be, the truth, or more than one (A corporation is a company or group of people authorized to act as a single entity (legally a person) and recognized as such in law). And hiding behind what was destroyed you had built up maybe was you thinking you had the right or knowing it was right.
With the biological mother gone, there is just you who is not blood related. Maybe there were two daughters in the one: Her mother's, and her father's.
You fought yourself over whatever this is, perhaps fearing your children will reject you. Maybe in particular the daughter, being opposite sex to you.
That's why she didn't refer to you as dad. But you laughed at the thought her close connection or union with you would not mean anything (the porn stash).
YOUR CHILDREN LOVE YOU
This next bit is even more clever of the dream, after wanting her to be normal, and wondering what she thinks:
Your fear she will hate you being said 6 times seems to refer to if you were not there 6 days a week which would be a loveless father. Maybe it also refers to up to age 6 they will only love you and accept you as their father, and your fear said the opposite.
Just as you realised she will love you as a father, even if you are not the real father.
Then you let it all out, in huge relief.
The lot more text probably didn't matter, except that it may have referred to she will keep on talking to you and accept you.
Then you were free to project farther into her future, where she'd meet a boy and be happy and find her way.
You want to see that.
So you will have that dream again. When it really happens.
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