Confusing and troubling dream

Could someone interpret this dream for me? Just to give a bit of background to help understand the dream: I'm a classical singer living in London who is currently studying but who sings in different choirs and does solo engagements too to pay my way through music college.

Part 1: I was in a hotel bar celebrating a party. I don't know who's birthday it was. It could have been mine but i think it might have been someone else's. I was dancing wth a group of friends ... friends from when I was in secondary school (5 years ago) so I don't think it was set in the present. We all used to go out dancing and drinking when we were that age but I don't really enjoy doing that stuff anymore. A guy from my secondary school was there who I haven't seen since I left school. At school I got on ok with him but I didn't really understand him and don't think he really understood me either. I always felt he chose friends for social status gain as opposed to just getting to know everyone. He was drunk and dancing but hitting people quite strongly on the back. The back hitting started in me first and it was really stingy! Think this might signify something but not too sure.
Now all of a sudden, a conductor who I worked with last week dropped my nice formally/casual jacket and there was vomit on it. I don't get angry at people and in real life I would have probably laughed and said it was ok, shoved it in a corner, picked it up at the end of the night and put it in the wash but in the dream I became so venomous and yelled, "You d**k! You f**king d**k!" The conductor was such a great guy and I really respect him so don't know why I reacted like he was a piece of dirt in the dream. Immediately the music stopped and everyone was quiet. I was really upset and proceeded to gather my things. I could sense that people were shocked. I was quite popular in school because I was nice to people and I think people were shocked that I had had an unexpected outburst. I looked up and the lights were on and there was only 5 or 6 people now sitting at the bar, looking really scared ... of me ... but I didn't really care. They looked at each other afraid to I felt that my anger was justified. Later I apologised to the conductor. But he didn't really seem to mind and apologised to me for the state of he jacket. The next part is a bit blurry but I looked at my diary and realised that I had to make a train to somewhere in Europe the next morning to go on tour with another choir I had been on tour in Europe with at the beginning of September so went home.

Part 2:
The home was not my home. It was a strange house on a farm or some sort of American ranch type thing. I can't remember fully but I was running from people in the house. I think they might have been related to me. I was really afraid of what they would do to me. I think they had abused me in the past. I was with someone else, I think it was my younger brother ... in real life I don't have a brother. We were both trying to hide from them but we were struggling to do so. I think my 'character' in this part felt a lot younger than the previous part. I was maybe 13/14. I can't remember too much of the hiding but I ended up on my own and finding a secret part of the house that I had never discovered before. There was a bathroom etc and I came across a room that was in an attic space. There were cobwebs and dust everywhere so felt like it wasn't cleaned or cared for or maybe it had been unoccupied for a while but it did look like someone had been living there. There were clothes getting dried on ropes in the room (although they were dry so could have been there for a while). I realised that a lot of my old clothes that I no longer wear/have given them away were there and had no idea how they got there. My luggage bag that I use every time I travel and have used for 8years was there which was really strange. It was open and in it were two old jackets of mine. I can't remember what happened to them in real life actually. I used to wear them and then I stopped wearing them. In the dream they were nice and neatly folded. Also in the luggage bag was a shirt that I have now and wear regularly but it that was really wrinkled and needed ironing. Don't know if this means anything ... it felt like there were juxtapositions again between past and present.

I can't really remember what happened next but I think I realised that I had forgotten about getting my train and somehow transported to part 3:

Part 3:
I was running to the train station, wearing one of the jackets I had found in my luggage bag. I was so late and was hoping to get the next train or get a flight or something. I ended up running into the group who were going on tour and thankfully the train had been cancelled and they were about to board a replacement bus service. I didn't have my luggage with me and I was in a bit of a panic so I decided to run back to my house to pack and hopefully make it back in time. I couldn't get through to choir manager to let her know what I was doing and my phone was almost out of battery so had to run back to the group to tel them. The bus was about to leave however so I just had to go with them. I didn't have my music and didn't have luggage and for some reason, wasn't wearing any shoes either! I was a bit annoyed at myself but just went with it and said "oh well, this is going to be an expensive weekend isn't it?" End of dream

Hope you can interpret it/analyse it for me!

Hi!
Wow! You have excellent dream recall abilities!!!! I'd be happy to give you an interpretation of your dream as if it was mine. HOWEVER....

If you go back and read some of my interpretations on this board, you'll realize I have a somewhat different frame of reference than many others. i've learnt lots about myself from my own dreams that has substantially changed me.

i tell you all of this because I "feel" you could relatively easily do what I do for yourself and then help others. There are two main components to what I do...

There is a masculine component of analysis. I use a framework of location, lighting, objects, people/animals and thoughts/feelings for my framework.

Then there's the feminine component. I access my "higher self/over soul" to ask questions about my dreams. This has lead me into a understanding of the multiverse we live in, virtual realities, etc.

If you'd like to learn more about this before you do the work I'm going to ask you below, go to "learningfrommydreams" dot com. There you'll find a free website I created with lots of different resources, meditation techniques, dream discussion papers, a story about the multiverse we live in and some sample dream interpretations.

If I have intrigued you, then here's what I'd like you to do, i.e. the "work part"...

FOR EACH SCENE I want you to tell me the following:

Location:
I want you to look in your mind, as the observer, in the following directions and tell me what you see:
1. To your left.
2. To your right.
3. In front of you.
4. Behind you.
5. Above you.
6. Below you.

It’s all right if you can’t recall much. Simply tell me what you see and make sure I know what direction it is from you the dreamer. In my interpretation, you’ll see how this is a symbol itself.

When you are describing what you see, tell me in as much detail as you can recall about it. So things I am very interested in is what are walls, doors, windows, stairs, tables, etc. made of, age/style, colour, etc. The same goes for anything outside. You’ll see in my interpretations how all of this tells us lots about ourselves.

Lighting:
1. Tell me what the lighting was like, i.e. bright, dull, black, cloudy etc.
2. Then tell me where the light was coming from.
3. Can you tell the time of day or season?
Lighting is important in a dream because it’s a symbol of vibrational state. I’ll explain this during my interpretation for you.

Objects:
If there are any objects in a dream scene, then tell me about them as follows:
1. Shape, size, colour and what they were made of.
2. Where the object is in the dream relative to you, i.e. left, right, etc.

I’ve found objects in dreams are usually symbols of things we first need to concentrate on spiritually. I’ll explain this in the interpretation if you had any objects in any of the scenes.

People:
For each person in a dream scene I want you to do the following:
1. Describe them to me in as much detail as you can recall. This includes age, gender, clothes, colour of the clothes, what the clothes were made of.
2. Tell me where they were in the dream scene relative to you, i.e. left, right, below, etc.
3. Tell me if they were lying down, sitting, standing, walking, etc.
4. Tell me what they did with you. Don’t skip the details. Simply tell me exactly what happened.
5. If there are any conversations or thoughts between you and the person or others, then tell me EXACTLY WHAT WAS SAID. This is important.
6. If there were others you couldn’t see but felt, then let me know where you felt they were in a scene relative to you the dreamer, i.e. left, right, etc.

Animals. Etc.:
If there were any animals, insects, birds, reptiles, fish or whatever in any of the scenes, then tell me. Describe them in as great as detail as you can recall. Also let me know where they were in the dream scene relative to you, i.e. left, right, etc. Then let me know of any thoughts that passed between you and them.

Thoughts/Feelings:
This is a very important part of every dream scene. Take your time, go back and tell me the following for each scene:
1. What was your first thought/feeling as the dream scene began.
2. Tell me of any thoughts/feeling changes as the dream scene progressed and let me know where in the scene this occurred.
3. Tell me your last thought/feeling as the dream ended.

Yes it will take some time and effort. if you do this and reply, then I will happily provide you with an interpretation of your dream as if it was mine. I think you might be surprised about what you can learn about yourself.

With kind regards,
Guy:)

Although in order to provide a more accurate interpretation it would usually be best to have some additional background information about you (and a description of events just before the dream), it looks like some aspects of the current dream were seen in your dream posted in June 2013.

Also, I often like to mention that there are generally no fixed interpretations for a given image in a dream and it’s always best to have the spontaneous memories, thoughts and feelings of the dreamer as related to each image and event.

That way, a better analysis is more likely, but having said that, there are some general symbolic motifs that appear in dreams which can serve as a basic starting point for discovering a dream’s meaning.

Also, the language of dreams is based on metaphors and analogies just like poetry, and these range from the simple to the very complex.

And any given symbol always potentially has two poles, one that’s positive and the other which is negative. For example, an animal can appear as being friendly or as being angry in dreams.

To make things more complicated, one symbol in a dream can also have multiple layers.

Although many people would disagree, “dream dictionaries” whether online or in books generally tend to be too inflexible about the meaning of a symbol and are generally a hit-and-miss source overall.

For instance, a certain online dream dictionary states the following as one idea related to the image of a table:

“To see a round table in your dream indicates evenness, sharing, cooperation, equal rights and opportunities for all. It also symbolizes honesty, loyalty, and chivalry.”

In this description, there are no qualifying words such as “sometimes”, “perhaps” or “in certain circumstances” etc., but finding the accurate meaning of a given image in most cases has to include what the dreamer’s spontaneous memories, thoughts and feelings are regarding the image.

At the risk of boring you a little, the renowned psychiatrist Carl Jung writes about the symbolism of a table in “On the Nature of Dreams”:

“The words composing a dream-narrative have not just one meaning, but many meanings. If, for instance, someone dreams of a table, we are still far from knowing what the ‘table’ of the dreamer signifies, although the word ‘table’ sounds unambiguous enough.

For the thing we do not know is that this ‘table’ is the very one at which his father sat when he refused the dreamer all further financial help and threw him out of the house as a good-for-nothing.

The polished surface of this table stares at him as a symbol of his lamentable worthlessness in his daytime consciousness as well as in his dreams at night.

This is what our dreamer understands by ‘table’.

Therefore, we need the dreamer’s help in order to limit the multiple meanings of words to those that are essential and convincing…

… If, therefore, we establish that the ‘table’ in the dream means that fatal table, with all that this implies, then, although we have not explained the dream, we have at least interpreted one important motif in it; that is, we have recognized the subjective context in which the word ‘table’ is embedded”.

In contrast, with those dreams which contain out-of-the-ordinary images such as talking animals or fantastic astronomical events etc. etc., often there are few or no associations from the dreamer, but because these types of images come from the deepest and collective parts of the psyche, looking at the stories, myths and art etc. about a given image as created by people over thousands of years can be very helpful in providing useful parallels which can clarify its meaning.

As with any dream though, preferably the full background information about the dreamer is needed in order to provide the context out of which the dream emerged because dreams are always specifically crafted to the individual’s actual overall inner and outer circumstances.

In addition, dreams are the broad equivalent to those processes which keep our physical bodies in an equilibrium.

For example, automatic adjustments are continually made to keep a person’s temperature, blood sugar level, water content etc. etc. at appropriate levels.

In an equivalent way, dreams try to maintain an overall psychological balance which will allow for the gradual all-round self-development of the dreamer.

So overall, the process of interpreting a dream is very complex and doing so on a website as opposed to a face-to-face approach with a properly certified analyst can usually provide only a reasonable overview and starting point for the understanding of a dream. Sometimes a website analysis can be totally off which of course could potentially do harm to the dreamer.

With this said, it looks like the opening scene of your dream might be trying to get across the idea that certain attitudes, beliefs and ways of acting etc. which you had (but were probably mostly unaware of) during your secondary school years are in fact very much alive and active in your psyche though you apparently are largely unconscious of them .

Symbolically, a birthday is about a “renewal” so that a person is bolstered so that she or he can move ahead in some way refreshed and feeling enthusiastic about life in general.

The fact that you’re not sure if it’s your birthday being celebrated or someone else’s could mean that an unknown part of your psychology is actually being “strengthened” and “renewed” which may not be a positive thing to be happening.

The dream emphasizes the guy you used to know who’s drunk and whose chief characteristic you remember is that “he chose friends for social status gain”.

In the dream, he slaps you very hard in a painful way on the back.

In dreams, anything “back” or “behind” generally points to influences from the unconscious mind, so the idea is possibly that at times, a “hurtful” but unconscious habit of being very friendly to certain people is motivated by the understandable wish to further your career.

You mention in the post “I was quite popular in school because I was nice to people” and you apparently believed that this was to help “just getting to know everyone” as opposed to how the guy acted regarding an ulterior motive being involved.

If this approach to your dream is correct, then the second part could be amplifying this idea by showing the potential results of not seeing any potentially present ulterior motives in your behaviour.

For example, a conductor whom you admire in outer life apparently uses your jacket to wipe up some vomit which might even be his. Your reaction is virulent and completely the opposite of how you would react in your outer life.

Vomit is the spontaneous and uncontrollable result of the effort of the body to rid itself of a “poison” and includes a “corrosive” aspect in the stomach acid which is also ejected.

On analogy, it’s possible that “being too nice” in certain circumstances could potentially build up over time and upset the overall psychological balance in this emotional and values area of your psyche.

From the dream’s point to view, this might apparently result in “damage” to your outer persona (vomit on the jacket) through unexpected rages and other upsets which can aptly be compared to vomiting on everybody including yourself.

In a worst-case scenario, this might potentially cause general harmony with others to be damaged (the music stops, everyone is afraid of you).

A further danger is possibly that you might come to believe in any expressions of your “righteous anger” which of course would only make things worse (“so I felt that my anger was justified”).

In the dream, you apologise to the conductor and all is well, but it’s possible that the outer man is also very friendly like you and that your reconciliation could represent a kind of “remaining loyal” to a fixed belief or habit something like “I must never express what I really feel in any manner whatever because it might upset someone and even cause them to block my progress”.

In any case, the dream then seems to take up the idea of your career (e.g. you have to get ready to go on tour).

Since your dream-ego is now around age 13-14, the dream has taken you back to a central time of transition when certain attitudes and forms of thinking etc. began and which therefore might have to be looked at to see if they’re still effective in your overall self-development as an individual.

The location is a farm or ranch, perhaps echoing the issue of your relationship to the instincts and natural reactions etc. as touched on in your dream from 2013.

The dream creates a younger brother and both of you are fleeing the apparent relatives in the house because they abused you in the past.

One way of looking at this situation in the dream could be to see the unhappy relatives as nagging feelings and thoughts over the years resulting from too poor an attachment to your true feelings and values.

Instead, you might have lived, for example, a kind of “pure” life “in the attic” far from the “ground floor” and related to music as a “spiritual” alternative which came to exclude dealing with “earthy things” too much over time. Of course, these include faults and failings seen in ourselves and others.

So it could be that the derelict attic partly symbolizes an unseen but still potent inner “motivational space” which still influences your behaviour and beliefs (e.g. various persona attributes are still being used as symbolized by the jackets etc.).

But the dream is probably stating its opinion of any such situation by showing this space as being a run-down attic where in real life you would obviously never accept living in, as well as the crumpled shirt and other suggestions of “inappropriate” outerwear etc., and perhaps in the “outworn baggage” in the form of the 8 year old luggage bag,

Part 3 of the dream seems to be exploring more fully your current very busy situation of trying to study and establish your musical career.

Of course, doing so involves all kinds of involvement with many other people and the unending disagreements, compromises, pressures and all-round demands being made on you by the collective group of which you have to become a fully functioning part.

Perhaps the dream is suggesting that, in order to succeed in this goal, you need to have your own protected and grounded viewpoint which protects your individual “soul” from the potential ravages of a concert career, i.e. you should be wearing a pair of shoes, probably partly meaning that it would be best to have a set of values informed by your living instinctive side and therefore able to “sort though” and “prioritize” the various demands etc. that will be made on you in the coming years.

It looks like a too outer and “material” approach won’t work very well in any such circumstances but the way the dream ends with you saying "oh well, this is going to be an expensive weekend isn't it?" also is showing that it’s essentially up to you as an ego to examine the actual situation, really decide what’s right and to move ahead in a way that can best nurture all aspects of your personality over time.

Anyway as mentioned, without knowing anything much about you, this way of looking at your very important dream might not fit your personal circumstances very well, but I hope that these ideas can be helpful in some way.

Please feel free to comment on, or to ask any questions about this particular way of looking at your dream.