Need interpretation!

I dreamt of big red spider about the size of a large seedless grape. Thought about killing it but instead chased after it to capture her. I was trying to use davids block holder but every time I closed in on her there would be a crack so she would escape. So I got the broom to try and sweep her up but she was starting to make a web. She'd attach the web to the dust pan and then cross over back the the end of the broom. Each time she went across she got larger. So I was looking at her in the dustpan and could see that she had several pockets of babies waiting to be born. They creeped me out because I could see all of them moving around in the holes. And when I looked back at the spider, she was made of 3 strawberries. Her back strawberry was the largest of course. The front two strawberries were large too but smaller and starting to bruise. All of her baby pockets were okay. But when I looked at her, she seemed sad. I held her in my hand and was rubbing the back strawberry. I got a little worried that she would snap at me. But she didn't and I put her back in the dust pan.

Hi,
In my dreams when insects, birds. animals, fish etc. show Up, I know they're important. They can be one of three things: themselves, a symbol or a totem. It's a totem.

Totems are entities that use a life-form to guide us. They may be with us all of our lives or, they may go when they are done. In my life I’ve had two totems which have now moved on and some new ones appear.

Whenever I come across totems in my own dreams or that of others, I usually first refer to “Animal Speak” by Ted Andrews. In his book he outlines many different totems and describes some of their characteristics. Another online source I use is Spirit Lodge Forums.

So here’s what Ted says about spiders...

KEYNOTE: Creativity and the Weaving of Fate

The spider has shown up in myth and lore throughout the world. Usually its symbolism has been very similar wherever it is used. In India it was associated with Maya, the weaver of illusion. It has had connections to the Fates in Greek mythology and the Noms in Scandinavian lorewomen who would weave, measure, and cut the threads of life. To the Native Americans, spider is grandmother, the link to the past and the future.

Unlike insects, spiders have a two section body instead of three, often giving them a figure eight kind of appearance. This in conjunction with its eight legs (unlike an insect’s six) links it to all the mysticism associated with life, flowing from one circle to the next. The difficulty is learning to walk those circles or even hold your position within the middle between the two.

Spider teaches you to maintain a balance- between past and future, physical and spiritual, male and female. Spider teaches you that everything you now do is weaving what you will encounter in the future. In the tarot deck is a card-The Wheel of Fortune. This is a card that has to do with rhythms-the rise and fall, the flow
and flux. It is linked to the energies of honor and fame, and the sensitivities necessary to place ourselves within the rhythm of Nature. Meditation upon this card would be beneficial for anyone with the spider as a totem.

The spider awakens creative sensibilities. It weaves a web of intricate and subtle fabric, as if to remind us that the past always subtly influences the present and future. Often the webs will take a spiral shape, the traditional form of creativity and development. The spider found within the web reminds us that we are the center of our own world. The ancient mystery schools had one precept inscribed above their portals: “Know Thyself and Thou Shalt Know the Universe!” Spider reminds us that the world is woven around us. We are the keepers and the writers of our own destiny, weaving it like a web by our thoughts, feelings, and actions.

The spider, because of its characteristics, has come to be associated by mystics and in mythology with three predominant expressions of magic. The first is the magic and energy of creation. It is a symbol of creative power, reflected in its ability to spin a silken web. It is also associated with assertiveness of that creative force, of keeping the feminine energies of creation alive and strong. As will be discussed further, this has ties to the characteristics of some spiders, i.e. the female black widow, which will kill and eat the male after mating has exhausted it.

The third predominant magic of the spider is associated with its spiral energy, the links with the past and the future. The spiral of the web, converging at a central point, is something to be meditated upon by those with this totem. Are you moving toward a central goal or are you scattered and going in multiple directions? Is everything staying focused? Are you becoming too involved and/ or self-absorbed? Are you focusing on others’ accomplishments and not on your own? Are you developing resentment because of it-for yourself or them?

Spider is the guardian of the ancient languages and alphabets. Every society has had myths about how the different languages and alphabets were formed. The Chinese alphabet is attributed to Ts’ang Chien, the god with the dragon face and four eyes. He formed it from the patterns of the stars, the marks on the back of the turtle and the footprints of birds in the sand. The Norse god Odin created the Runic alphabet after hanging upon the great tree of life for nine days and nights. After this time, the twigs fell off and spelled out certain formulas and words.

To many, there was an alphabet even more primordial. It was formed by the geometric patterns and angles found within spider’s web. To many this was the first true alphabet. This is why spider is considered the teacher of language and the magic of writing. Those who weave magic with the written word probably have a spider totem.

The spider has long been associated with death and rebirth. Part of this may have to do with the fact that some female spiders will kill and eat the male after mating. This is often found in the insect world, the praying mantis being another such example. Because it is constantly building and weaving new webs, it has also been a lunar symbol, with ties to the waxing and waning of the moon. For those with this totem, this pattern is a reminder to maintain balance and polarity in all aspects of life. Spider teaches that through polarity and balance creativity is stimulated.

Books, movies, and television have had a tendency to promote a fear of spiders in the general public. Most spiders are poisonous. This is how they kill or stun their prey. They serve a vital function in controlling insect populations. The black widow probably has received the worst reputation undeservedly. It is found all over the United States. It is jet black, but it has a red hour-glass shaped marking on the belly. It is a poisonous spider, but it is not fatal to humans as many assume. It is actually a very timid spider, and it is usually as much or more afraid of humans than they are of it.

Tarantulas are another common big spider that people are familiar with. The tarantella, a folk dance of Southern Italy, was named after the tarantula. They believed incorrectly that its bite caused convulsive movements in humans. The
dance with its circular direction and quick foot movements was named for it.

The tarantula is one of the largest spiders, and it is hairy. Its mouth is underneath its body. Its bite is poisonous, as with most spiders, but it would not affect the average human any more than a bee sting. Tarantulas do spin a thread, but they do not weave a web. They dig a burrow or a hole in the sand and hide in the bottom of it. As
soon as they feel something walking around the opening, they will jump up, grab it, and pull it back in. That is how they catch their food.

Most spiders are actually very, very delicate. If you were holding a tarantula and dropped it, it would break and die. Spiders are a combination of gentleness and strength, and they have learned to combine both for successful survival. This is an important lesson for those with this totem.

As delicate as they are, spiders are also very agile. They can maintain balance and walk the tiny silken threads with ease. To walk the threads of life and maintain balance has been one of the mysteries throughout the ages. Myth and lore often speak of individuals who have learned to walk the threads between life and death-waking and sleeping-between the physical and the spiritual. This is part of what spider medicine can teach, for spiders are the experts at walking threads.

Most people have little or no contact with the bigger spiders, but they will often see a wide variety around the house and home. Many of these serve vital functions, killing more harmful insects. Most of their movement occurs in the
dark, and they move into inaccessible areas. This reflects much about how to express the creative energies. Don’t be afraid to employ it in seemingly inaccessible corners. Weave your creative threads in the dark and then when the sun hits them, they will glisten with intricate beauty.

If spider has come into your life, ask yourself some important questions. Are you not weaving your dreams and imaginings into reality? Are you not using your creative opportunities? Are you feeling closed in or stuck as if in a web? Do you need to pay attention to your balance and where you are walking in life? Are others out of balance around you? Do you need to write? Are you inspired to write or draw and not following through? Remember that spider is the keeper of knowledge of the primordial alphabet. Spider can teach how to use the written language with power
and creativity so that your words weave a web around those who would read them.

If this was my dream, I would ask the spider to begin to teach me. By opening myself up to myself with my totem, it will give birth, just like the spider egg sack in my dream.

I hope some of what I've said above resonates deep within you.

With kind regards,
Guy:):)

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by ghuntington

Hi,
In my dreams when insects, birds. animals, fish etc. show Up, I know they're important. They can be one of three things: themselves, a symbol or a totem. It's a totem.

Totems are entities that use a life-form to guide us. They may be with us all of our lives or, they may go when they are done. In my life I’ve had two totems which have now moved on and some new ones appear.

Whenever I come across totems in my own dreams or that of others, I usually first refer to “Animal Speak” by Ted Andrews. In his book he outlines many different totems and describes some of their characteristics. Another online source I use is Spirit Lodge Forums.

So here’s what Ted says about spiders...

KEYNOTE: Creativity and the Weaving of Fate

The spider has shown up in myth and lore throughout the world. Usually its symbolism has been very similar wherever it is used. In India it was associated with Maya, the weaver of illusion. It has had connections to the Fates in Greek mythology and the Noms in Scandinavian lorewomen who would weave, measure, and cut the threads of life. To the Native Americans, spider is grandmother, the link to the past and the future.

Unlike insects, spiders have a two section body instead of three, often giving them a figure eight kind of appearance. This in conjunction with its eight legs (unlike an insect’s six) links it to all the mysticism associated with life, flowing from one circle to the next. The difficulty is learning to walk those circles or even hold your position within the middle between the two.

Spider teaches you to maintain a balance- between past and future, physical and spiritual, male and female. Spider teaches you that everything you now do is weaving what you will encounter in the future. In the tarot deck is a card-The Wheel of Fortune. This is a card that has to do with rhythms-the rise and fall, the flow
and flux. It is linked to the energies of honor and fame, and the sensitivities necessary to place ourselves within the rhythm of Nature. Meditation upon this card would be beneficial for anyone with the spider as a totem.

The spider awakens creative sensibilities. It weaves a web of intricate and subtle fabric, as if to remind us that the past always subtly influences the present and future. Often the webs will take a spiral shape, the traditional form of creativity and development. The spider found within the web reminds us that we are the center of our own world. The ancient mystery schools had one precept inscribed above their portals: “Know Thyself and Thou Shalt Know the Universe!” Spider reminds us that the world is woven around us. We are the keepers and the writers of our own destiny, weaving it like a web by our thoughts, feelings, and actions.

The spider, because of its characteristics, has come to be associated by mystics and in mythology with three predominant expressions of magic. The first is the magic and energy of creation. It is a symbol of creative power, reflected in its ability to spin a silken web. It is also associated with assertiveness of that creative force, of keeping the feminine energies of creation alive and strong. As will be discussed further, this has ties to the characteristics of some spiders, i.e. the female black widow, which will kill and eat the male after mating has exhausted it.

The third predominant magic of the spider is associated with its spiral energy, the links with the past and the future. The spiral of the web, converging at a central point, is something to be meditated upon by those with this totem. Are you moving toward a central goal or are you scattered and going in multiple directions? Is everything staying focused? Are you becoming too involved and/ or self-absorbed? Are you focusing on others’ accomplishments and not on your own? Are you developing resentment because of it-for yourself or them?

Spider is the guardian of the ancient languages and alphabets. Every society has had myths about how the different languages and alphabets were formed. The Chinese alphabet is attributed to Ts’ang Chien, the god with the dragon face and four eyes. He formed it from the patterns of the stars, the marks on the back of the turtle and the footprints of birds in the sand. The Norse god Odin created the Runic alphabet after hanging upon the great tree of life for nine days and nights. After this time, the twigs fell off and spelled out certain formulas and words.

To many, there was an alphabet even more primordial. It was formed by the geometric patterns and angles found within spider’s web. To many this was the first true alphabet. This is why spider is considered the teacher of language and the magic of writing. Those who weave magic with the written word probably have a spider totem.

The spider has long been associated with death and rebirth. Part of this may have to do with the fact that some female spiders will kill and eat the male after mating. This is often found in the insect world, the praying mantis being another such example. Because it is constantly building and weaving new webs, it has also been a lunar symbol, with ties to the waxing and waning of the moon. For those with this totem, this pattern is a reminder to maintain balance and polarity in all aspects of life. Spider teaches that through polarity and balance creativity is stimulated.

Books, movies, and television have had a tendency to promote a fear of spiders in the general public. Most spiders are poisonous. This is how they kill or stun their prey. They serve a vital function in controlling insect populations. The black widow probably has received the worst reputation undeservedly. It is found all over the United States. It is jet black, but it has a red hour-glass shaped marking on the belly. It is a poisonous spider, but it is not fatal to humans as many assume. It is actually a very timid spider, and it is usually as much or more afraid of humans than they are of it.

Tarantulas are another common big spider that people are familiar with. The tarantella, a folk dance of Southern Italy, was named after the tarantula. They believed incorrectly that its bite caused convulsive movements in humans. The
dance with its circular direction and quick foot movements was named for it.

The tarantula is one of the largest spiders, and it is hairy. Its mouth is underneath its body. Its bite is poisonous, as with most spiders, but it would not affect the average human any more than a bee sting. Tarantulas do spin a thread, but they do not weave a web. They dig a burrow or a hole in the sand and hide in the bottom of it. As
soon as they feel something walking around the opening, they will jump up, grab it, and pull it back in. That is how they catch their food.

Most spiders are actually very, very delicate. If you were holding a tarantula and dropped it, it would break and die. Spiders are a combination of gentleness and strength, and they have learned to combine both for successful survival. This is an important lesson for those with this totem.

As delicate as they are, spiders are also very agile. They can maintain balance and walk the tiny silken threads with ease. To walk the threads of life and maintain balance has been one of the mysteries throughout the ages. Myth and lore often speak of individuals who have learned to walk the threads between life and death-waking and sleeping-between the physical and the spiritual. This is part of what spider medicine can teach, for spiders are the experts at walking threads.

Most people have little or no contact with the bigger spiders, but they will often see a wide variety around the house and home. Many of these serve vital functions, killing more harmful insects. Most of their movement occurs in the
dark, and they move into inaccessible areas. This reflects much about how to express the creative energies. Don’t be afraid to employ it in seemingly inaccessible corners. Weave your creative threads in the dark and then when the sun hits them, they will glisten with intricate beauty.

If spider has come into your life, ask yourself some important questions. Are you not weaving your dreams and imaginings into reality? Are you not using your creative opportunities? Are you feeling closed in or stuck as if in a web? Do you need to pay attention to your balance and where you are walking in life? Are others out of balance around you? Do you need to write? Are you inspired to write or draw and not following through? Remember that spider is the keeper of knowledge of the primordial alphabet. Spider can teach how to use the written language with power
and creativity so that your words weave a web around those who would read them.

If this was my dream, I would ask the spider to begin to teach me. By opening myself up to myself with my totem, it will give birth, just like the spider egg sack in my dream.

I hope some of what I've said above resonates deep within you.

With kind regards,
Guy:):)

---

Thank you for such a detailed response, Guy :)
I do believe the spider is my totem. Has been for a very long time actually. I dream of them constantly...and usually they are always abnormally huge. Brightly colored. Like giant Orb Spiders. The last dream I had was of a giant tarantula that had a very bright blue underbelly. Hiding in the cracks of bricks. I had a "spider guide" there asking me to hold her. But I was nervous.
I am a stay at home mom, age 22, with two step children as well. So yes, there are times where I am feeling like there could be more for me to do for my family. I have SO many ideas and plans but never seem to have the time to do them. And yes, I am a writer.
I have been working on a huge writing project for a few years now. I feel like it will be something big, but I just haven't had much time to write.
I wouldn't say I'm deathly afraid of spiders, in fact, I have held a tarantula before and quite enjoyed it! But sometimes they do really scare me. And I know it's silly, especially because I know I've had a strong connection with them for so long.
I found it interesting that the spider in my dream was making her web back and forth and not the usual way in which they usually spin. Almost as if she was pacing. Which is how I feel in life a lot haha...
One question though, the spider's "strawberry body," and how I could tell she was starting to rot, and why she seemed so sad. I also forgot to mention that I set the dustpan that she was in, down in the pantry, which is more like a closet to me. What's with all that??
But thank you, again, for such an amazing interpretation! I'll have to check out that book you mentioned as well!

with love,
-anything is possible

Hi,
To be honest I didn't do my usual dream interpretation with you. I was tired and just wanted to get you pointed in the right direction. So, to help you properly, if you're interested, please do the following...

What I've learnt from my own dreams is that there is nothing in a dream by chance. Therefore, if you answer the following questions, to the best of your recall ability, I will happily give you an interpretation of your dream as if it was mine.

First tell me the number of scenes in your dream. THEN FOR EACH SCENE I want you to tell me the following:

Location:
I want you to look in your mind, as the observer, in the following directions and tell me what you see:
1. To your left.
2. To your right.
3. In front of you.
4. Behind you.
5. Above you.
6. Below you.

It’s all right if you can’t recall much. Simply tell me what you see and make sure I know what direction it is from you the dreamer. In my interpretation, you’ll see how this is a symbol itself.

When you are describing what you see, tell me in as much detail as you can recall about it. So things I am very interested in is what are walls, doors, windows, stairs, tables, etc. made of, age/style, colour, etc. The same goes for anything outside. You’ll see in my interpretations how all of this tells us lots about ourselves.

Lighting:
1. Tell me what the lighting was like, i.e. bright, dull, black, cloudy etc.
2. Then tell me where the light was coming from.
3. Can you tell the time of day or season?
Lighting is important in a dream because it’s a symbol of vibrational state. I’ll explain this during my interpretation for you.

Objects:
If there are any objects in a dream scene, then tell me about them as follows:
1. Shape, size, colour and what they were made of.
2. Where the object is in the dream relative to you, i.e. left, right, etc.

I’ve found objects in dreams are usually symbols of things we first need to concentrate on spiritually. I’ll explain this in the interpretation if you had any objects in any of the scenes.

People:
For each person in a dream scene I want you to do the following:
1. Describe them to me in as much detail as you can recall. This includes age, gender, clothes, colour of the clothes, what the clothes were made of.
2. Tell me where they were in the dream scene relative to you, i.e. left, right, below, etc.
3. Tell me if they were lying down, sitting, standing, walking, etc.
4. Tell me what they did with you. Don’t skip the details. Simply tell me exactly what happened.
5. If there are any conversations or thoughts between you and the person or others, then tell me EXACTLY WHAT WAS SAID. This is important.
6. If there were others you couldn’t see but felt, then let me know where you felt they were in a scene relative to you the dreamer, i.e. left, right, etc.

Animals. Etc.:
If there were any animals, insects, birds, reptiles, fish or whatever in any of the scenes, then tell me. Describe them in as great as detail as you can recall. Also let me know where they were in the dream scene relative to you, i.e. left, right, etc. Then let me know of any thoughts that passed between you and them.

Thoughts/Feelings:
This is a very important part of every dream scene. Take your time, go back and tell me the following for each scene:
1. What was your first thought/feeling as the dream scene began.
2. Tell me of any thoughts/feeling changes as the dream scene progressed and let me know where in the scene this occurred.
3. Tell me your last thought/feeling as the dream ended.

I realize this is a lot of work. HOWEVER, I think you might be surprised by how much you can learn about yourself from a single scene.

With kind regards,
Guy
:)

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by ghuntington

Hi,
To be honest I didn't do my usual dream interpretation with you. I was tired and just wanted to get you pointed in the right direction. So, to help you properly, if you're interested, please do the following...

What I've learnt from my own dreams is that there is nothing in a dream by chance. Therefore, if you answer the following questions, to the best of your recall ability, I will happily give you an interpretation of your dream as if it was mine.

First tell me the number of scenes in your dream. THEN FOR EACH SCENE I want you to tell me the following:

Location:
I want you to look in your mind, as the observer, in the following directions and tell me what you see:
1. To your left.
2. To your right.
3. In front of you.
4. Behind you.
5. Above you.
6. Below you.

It’s all right if you can’t recall much. Simply tell me what you see and make sure I know what direction it is from you the dreamer. In my interpretation, you’ll see how this is a symbol itself.

When you are describing what you see, tell me in as much detail as you can recall about it. So things I am very interested in is what are walls, doors, windows, stairs, tables, etc. made of, age/style, colour, etc. The same goes for anything outside. You’ll see in my interpretations how all of this tells us lots about ourselves.

Lighting:
1. Tell me what the lighting was like, i.e. bright, dull, black, cloudy etc.
2. Then tell me where the light was coming from.
3. Can you tell the time of day or season?
Lighting is important in a dream because it’s a symbol of vibrational state. I’ll explain this during my interpretation for you.

Objects:
If there are any objects in a dream scene, then tell me about them as follows:
1. Shape, size, colour and what they were made of.
2. Where the object is in the dream relative to you, i.e. left, right, etc.

I’ve found objects in dreams are usually symbols of things we first need to concentrate on spiritually. I’ll explain this in the interpretation if you had any objects in any of the scenes.

People:
For each person in a dream scene I want you to do the following:
1. Describe them to me in as much detail as you can recall. This includes age, gender, clothes, colour of the clothes, what the clothes were made of.
2. Tell me where they were in the dream scene relative to you, i.e. left, right, below, etc.
3. Tell me if they were lying down, sitting, standing, walking, etc.
4. Tell me what they did with you. Don’t skip the details. Simply tell me exactly what happened.
5. If there are any conversations or thoughts between you and the person or others, then tell me EXACTLY WHAT WAS SAID. This is important.
6. If there were others you couldn’t see but felt, then let me know where you felt they were in a scene relative to you the dreamer, i.e. left, right, etc.

Animals. Etc.:
If there were any animals, insects, birds, reptiles, fish or whatever in any of the scenes, then tell me. Describe them in as great as detail as you can recall. Also let me know where they were in the dream scene relative to you, i.e. left, right, etc. Then let me know of any thoughts that passed between you and them.

Thoughts/Feelings:
This is a very important part of every dream scene. Take your time, go back and tell me the following for each scene:
1. What was your first thought/feeling as the dream scene began.
2. Tell me of any thoughts/feeling changes as the dream scene progressed and let me know where in the scene this occurred.
3. Tell me your last thought/feeling as the dream ended.

I realize this is a lot of work. HOWEVER, I think you might be surprised by how much you can learn about yourself from a single scene.

With kind regards,
Guy
:)

---

Location:
I want you to look in your mind, as the observer, in the following directions and tell me what you see:
1. To your left.
2. To your right.
3. In front of you.
4. Behind you.
5. Above you.
6. Below you.

It’s all right if you can’t recall much. Simply tell me what you see and make sure I know what direction it is from you the dreamer. In my interpretation, you’ll see how this is a symbol itself.

(first of all,sorry if this writing is all screwy...I don't really know how to use this forum :p)

1. Well, it started out in the living room, saw the spider coming from my left. I started to follow it into the kitchen.
2. Walking from the living room, we have a window to my right. In the kitchen, we have the spices?
3. Standing in the kitchen, I was facing the pantry area, crouched to the ground at first.
4. Behind me was the living room.
5. Since I was focused in on the spider this whole time, these answers are sort of awkward sounding to me, but I hope they help. (Above me was the ceiling).
6. Still crouched on the floor.

Lighting:
1. Tell me what the lighting was like, i.e. bright, dull, black, cloudy etc.
2. Then tell me where the light was coming from.
3. Can you tell the time of day or season?
Lighting is important in a dream because it’s a symbol of vibrational state. I’ll explain this during my interpretation for you.

1. Inside. Sort of dim in the living room where the dream started. In the kitchen, the kitchen lights were on. The lights are a yellow color. Not harsh, not soft.
2. Living room: the front window. Kitchen: kitchen lights above.
3. Living room: seemed like evening, maybe 5:00 or 6:00pm. Kitchen: Afternoon perhaps.

Objects:
If there are any objects in a dream scene, then tell me about them as follows:
1. Shape, size, colour and what they were made of.
2. Where the object is in the dream relative to you, i.e. left, right, etc.

I’ve found objects in dreams are usually symbols of things we first need to concentrate on spiritually. I’ll explain this in the interpretation if you had any objects in any of the scenes.

1. My son's block holder, which is a giant see-through crayon that stands up, well, it used to (it's about 2 and a half feet tall, 5-7 inches in diameter). It's all beat up from him banging it around on things and dirty. And then the broom and dust pan. Clearly dirty from sweeping up. The dust pan is blue. Along with the handle which is also a dark silver.
2. The crayon was in front of me, to the right, about 10 feet away. I honestly, can't remember where I picked the broom up from. But I know that it is the broom that we own.

People:
For each person in a dream scene I want you to do the following:
1. Describe them to me in as much detail as you can recall. This includes age, gender, clothes, colour of the clothes, what the clothes were made of.
2. Tell me where they were in the dream scene relative to you, i.e. left, right, below, etc.
3. Tell me if they were lying down, sitting, standing, walking, etc.
4. Tell me what they did with you. Don’t skip the details. Simply tell me exactly what happened.
5. If there are any conversations or thoughts between you and the person or others, then tell me EXACTLY WHAT WAS SAID. This is important.
6. If there were others you couldn’t see but felt, then let me know where you felt they were in a scene relative to you the dreamer, i.e. left, right, etc.

1. My son and partner were there with me, standing in the living room doing what they do. My son is only one year and ten months so he was just in his diaper. My partner was wearing his work clothes. It's a button up dress shirt, cuffed at the elbows, and tucked in his work pants. He wore his usual belt. My partner is 37.
2. They were both standing in front of me. I was on the couch.
3. My partner was standing at the front window, smoking a cigarette and blowing the smoke outside. My son was standing about 4 feet from the tv watching netflix.
4. Neither of them interacted with me. But that's also sort of our usual thing when he comes home from work.
5. I exclaimed, 'Holy shit, that's a huge spider!!!" But no one seemed to turn around to look at her.
6. There was no feeling that someone else was with us except for me and the spider at this point.

Animals. Etc.:
If there were any animals, insects, birds, reptiles, fish or whatever in any of the scenes, then tell me. Describe them in as great as detail as you can recall. Also let me know where they were in the dream scene relative to you, i.e. left, right, etc. Then let me know of any thoughts that passed between you and them.

--there were no animals, even though we do have a dog and two cats--

Thoughts/Feelings:
This is a very important part of every dream scene. Take your time, go back and tell me the following for each scene:
1. What was your first thought/feeling as the dream scene began.
2. Tell me of any thoughts/feeling changes as the dream scene progressed and let me know where in the scene this occurred.
3. Tell me your last thought/feeling as the dream ended.

1. Normal. It just felt like our usual evening when my partner comes home from work. He smokes, I watch my son watch his shows on netflix.
2. When the spider entered the scene, I reacted the way I usually do when I see abnormally large spiders: "holy shit!" And sorta freak out a little...which is funny though because even though they freak me out sometimes, I have always had a strange curiosity for them. I like to watch them. I'll feed them ants in the summers to watch them catch their prey. And if there's a new spider in the corner of my room, and it stays there for many months, I'll watch over it and name it.
So I went after the spider, at first I was going to kill her. But decided it would just make a gross mess so I didn't want to do that. I just decided I would capture her and let her outside. That was when I grabbed the crayon to try and capture her. At this point, I was starting to get very frustrated because I was completely unable to capture her under the crayon. There was 2 inches of space between the bottom of the opening of the crayon, and the floor. No matter how hard I pushed the crayon down, it wouldn't touch the floor, almost as if the spider had a weird force field around her that doesn't allow you to enclose her. So, I was frustrated and than confused.
This is when I grabbed the broom and dustpan to sweep her up. I swept her up into the dust pan and was watching her curiously. I thought she was tangled up in the dust and hair, but it turned out she was just starting to make a web. She was going across from the dustpan to the broom brissles and just going back and forth, making the "web-bridge" stronger. Each time she walked back and forth, she would increase in size until she became her "strawberry-bodied self." I was in wonder. And still curious.
That is when I saw her pouches. Full of babies. It wasn't a normal spider sack. It was more like that nasty faux picture of the bot fly holes in peoples skin, but in pouch form that looked like smooth bark material...i know...weird. It grossed me out at first. Until I saw the babies moving inside the holes.
Back to wonder and curiosity, I stood up. I looked more at her strawberry self. The smaller left strawberry was bruised and soft. The right one was just soft. The BIG strawberry body, where the usual body of the spider is, was just soft as well. I got an overwhelming feeling of sadness. I looked into her eyes, which were more like cat eyes than anything else, and saw her deep sadness. Almost as if a her eyes were tearing up. So as I held her in my hand, I stroked her body. Almost petting her. She was as big as my hand. If you can picture an orb spider, but giant, that was the shape she had, just more added on things haha. I also had a short moment where I thought she might snap at me. So I stopped stroking her. I also felt a twinge of guilt for thinking I was going to kill her in the beginning, even though I knew she didn't have those pouches in the beginning.
I placed her back into the dustpan where she crawled into the corner, and I put her in the bottom of the pantry which is mostly empty and dark. I thought it would help her.
3. Last thought and feeling: overwhelming sadness. curiosity. slight hope, but not much.

Sorry, if this is totally not what you're looking for!!!!!

Hi,
Thanks for replying! Below is my interpretation of your dream as if it was mine. Dreams are for each of us to interpret on our own. Therefore, if anything I say doesn’t resonate with you, then simply discard it. So with that said off I go…

When I do my own interpretations or that of others, I always start with the location. I could have located it anywhere, at any time in any reality and…I’ve located it here. I’ve learnt that locations help to “spiritually frame in” a dream.

I will take the first of several sidebars here to help you understand the framework I use when interpreting a dream. This one will cover what I’ve learned about beliefs, belief compartments, people and the age of people. Then I’ll return to myself in the living room.

In my dreams, things that are made by people are symbols of masculine and things of nature are symbols of feminine. I’ve learnt that before we incarnate, we carefully select the times we will live in, our families, life circumstances, challenges and potential exit points. We then carefully select our personality.

I’ve learnt we do this by selecting approximately 200 different “belief filters”. These are energy filters that have two polarities, a feminine one and a masculine one. We select the degree of polarity we are going to hold the belief, i.e. the degree of feminine or masculine. This then determines the belief vibratory level.

Each belief then works with the other beliefs, each with their own vibratory rate. They literally “filter our reality” by blocking out the greater reality vibrations we actually come from. They create the aura around us and create our thoughts/feelings for each moment.

We constantly tell ourselves about this in our dreams. We use symbolism to show ourselves about the beliefs and their limiting effects on us spiritually. We also show ourselves the “dis-ease’ created by some of our beliefs using colours in our dreams.

In my dreams buildings are symbols of what I call ‘belief compartments’. I’ve learnt that each wall is a symbol of a belief. Furniture within them are symbols of yet more beliefs that work with the overall beliefs to produce what I call are ‘belief effects’.

To symbolize to ourselves the many different types of beliefs we use in all our many lives, we often create our dreams in towns, cities or houses.

I’ve often found that in many of my dreams, people appear in the rooms or buildings. When I first began to record my dreams, many years ago, I frequently found myself in large warehouses full of boxes I had to climb over or in rooms in houses full of furniture. Imagine my surprise when I eventually learnt they boxes and furniture were symbols of masculine based beliefs I had to address first before I got to the walls!

As I spiritually listened to myself, over time, the rooms began to empty. Then I was walking through empty rooms. The next step was to see glass walls, windows and open doors, all symbols of how I was beginning to work my way out of the old belief walls. Then the walls began to disappear. In the end, I was usually flying over the old beliefs.

In many of my dreams when I began to keep a record of my dreams,, I would find myself in multi-storied houses. I then realized these are symbols of numerous belief compartments I use in one or more of my lives.

Then I found myself in towns and cities. I then realized that each one is a symbol of various belief compartments I have used in another life.

I will take another sidebar here and describe what I’ve learnt about people in my dreams…

When I first began recording my dreams, I would often find people in my dreams that I didn’t know or ones that I did know but they were doing strange things. When I tried to literally interpret my dreams, it usually didn’t work.

I had a near death experience 12 years ago that changed me. One of the changes was a determination to learn to meditate. I had stopped and started meditation all my life and had in effect gone nowhere in a hurry. So this time I was determined to stick with it.

I slowly learnt how to touch my “higher self”. One day, the thought came to me to use my higher self to assist me in interpreting my dreams. Then the dream gates swung wide open.

I’ve since learnt that people in my dreams may be who they are, symbols of my masculine and feminine, other lives, teachers, guides, oversoul, aspects of myself, people who I frequently incarnate with, etc.

When I first began to record my dreams I frequently began to see an old couple. They might change their appearance but there was almost always an old man and woman in the dream. Then a young girl and by appeared.

They too sometimes changed but they were now in the same dream as the old couple. However, they were “bit players” in my dreams as the old couple was the ones I was interacting with.

At first, I had no idea who these people were. Then, as I learnt to mediate and apply my higher self to my dream interpretations, my dreams gates swung open.

First, I learnt that the old man and women were symbols of my masculine and feminine. Next, I learnt that the young girl and boy were symbols of the feminine and masculine I could become. So I then used the terms “old masculine and feminine” and “young masculine and feminine” to describe these dream symbols to myself.

As I began to address my underlying beliefs, the old couple disappeared from my dreams and the young ones spiritually grew up.

I’ve learnt that people’s age in dreams is important.

When infants are in my dreams as other lives, this is usually a symbol we are just beginning our journey through the beliefs the dream is about.

When teenagers show up I realize I am making steady progress through my dreams.

When mature adults show up, it’s a sign that I am now spiritually maturing in dealing with the beliefs.

When old people show up in my dreams, I let out a sound of joy! It’s a sign that I am now ready to release the old beliefs.

I then learnt that things made out of natural materials are symbols of feminine beliefs that are now no longer working for me. In effect, spiritually speaking, they are now “dead” for me, i.e. dead trees – wood, etc. So, whenever I am in rooms made of wood or standing on wood, etc. I refer to this in my mind as “dead feminine”.

About a year and a half ago, I felt compelled to put together a free website documenting what I have learnt. At first, I didn’t want to because I felt what I had learnt was akin in my mind to a teaspoon of water compared to all the oceans’ water, i.e. not much. However the feeling persisted.

Today if you go to ‘learningfrommydreams’ dot com you’ll see what I created. If you go there, I suggest you look at 3 things. One is the meditation page where I list all sorts of different ways to meditate. Find one that works for you.

Then I recommend you read the dream discussion paper I posted on the website. It describes the symbolism I’ve learnt including people.

Finally, I recommend you look at the resources page where you’ll find an extensive list of things to look at.

So with this said, back to my dream…

My dream begins with me in what is a symbol for beliefs I hold in this life, i.e. my house. I’m standing in a “masculine based belief compartment”, i.e. a room made by people. What I’ve learnt is that each wall, floor and ceiling are symbols of masculine based beliefs.

Further, I’m in the “living room”. A living room is a symbol in my dreams of a set of beliefs some of my other lives and I frequently use in our incarnations, i.e. a “living” room.

I wish I could recall if there was any furniture in the room, Why? These are symbols of yet more masculine based beliefs I will need to address.

I also wish I could recall if there was any colours in the room. I will take a brief side bar here and describe what I’ve learnt about colours in my dreams. I will then return to me in the living room.

I have learnt that colours in my dreams are very important. They are symbols of how the beliefs affect different points on my etheric and physical body. The old Hindi’s of thousand of years ago saw three energies swirling into our bodies at several points they called “chakras”. Then they mapped 70,000 different smaller points they called “Nadis”. This then grew to 100,000 points. It was and is an amazing piece of work.

Since I can only see the first 6 inches or so of an aura around a person and I’m not yet able to see chakras, I use this reference for colours and general body location points “The Chakras” by David Leadbeater. You can find free copies of it online.

I find that this is the best reference I can find to date about colours but the colours in my dreams usually go beyond what I find in David’s reference.

So back to my dream…

Next I turn my attention to lighting. Here’s what I’ve learnt about lighting in my dreams. Then I’ll return to the lighting in the living room.

Lighting in my dreams is very important. It is a way of symbolizing how much en-lightenment I have with respect to the beliefs the dream is about.

Dark in my dreams is a symbol of where I haven’t yet spiritually explored my beliefs. Sunlight is a symbol that my over soul is assisting me.

When I am in rooms with no windows or doors, it’s a symbol that I am “en-lightening” myself on my own.

If there are windows and the sun is shining through, it’s a symbol that some of my belief walls are beginning to be removed and my over soul is now beginning to assist me.

Morning is a symbol I am beginning to make progress on my beliefs. Noon is a symbol I am now able to shed full spiritual enlightenment on beliefs the scene is a symbol of. Evening is a time when I am in a place of spiritual darkness with respect to the beliefs.

If it’s winter, it’s a sign that I need to reflect on my beliefs since they are frozen. If it’s spring, it’s a time that I am beginning to make spiritual progress on the beliefs. If it’s summertime, it’s a symbol that my work is now bearing spiritual fruit. If it’s fall, it indicates I am heading towards a period where I can reap the benefits by releasing old beliefs.

“Sort of dim in the living room where the dream started.” So I am showing myself that I need to “en-lighten” myself since it’s dim. “Living room: seemed like evening, maybe 5:00 or 6:00pm”. It’s starting to get to a time where I am going to enter spiritual darkness if I don’t learn to listen to my dreams!

Instead, I walk out of the room. This is what I call “leaving a spiritual yellow sticky note to myself”. What do I mean by this?

In our dreams, we frequently turn away, walk away or refuse to deal in some manner with a person, room, object, situation, etc. I’ve learnt that this is like waving a bright flag in front of us saying “Hey me! This is something I will need to come back and address when I’m ready!”, i.e. just like a sticky note! So I am showing myself that at some point, when I’m spiritually ready, I need to go back and revisit the beliefs the living room is a symbol of.

There were two people in the room with me; my son and my partner. Are they themselves or, are they symbols? They are themselves. So why are they showing up in this scene?

I’ve learnt that when people show up in the same scene as mine, they share the same underlying beliefs I do. It’s a way of letting me know that they are working spiritually with me on the same beliefs.

“They were both standing in front of me.”” …he was just in his diaper. My partner was wearing his work clothes. It's a button up dress shirt, cuffed at the elbows, and tucked in his work pants. He wore his usual belt.”” My partner was standing at the front window, smoking a cigarette and blowing the smoke outside. My son was standing about 4 feet from the TV watching Netflix.” “Neither of them interacted with me.”

I will talk for a bit here about dream people and people in our “real” lives…

A dream is a language where the dreamer is in total control of everything that is in a dream and goes on in the dream. Nothing is there by accident.

When we create people in our dreams, we do so very carefully. For instance, I could have created a dream where my son was in his play clothes or my partner was dressed up…but I didn’t. I could also have selected any age for the people, i.e., a younger or older son or a different age for my partner…but I didn’t.

Instead I choose my son standing just in his diaper. He’s nearly nude. Recalling what I said earlier about being nude in my dreams, my son is showing me, regarding the beliefs this room is about, that he’s somewhat spiritually ahead of me and my partner in dealing with it, i.e. he only has a masculine based belief symbol he’s wearing covering his genitals.

Further, my partner is showing me that he is wearing several masculine based beliefs protecting himself from himself, if this makes sense or, perhaps a better way of putting it is the masculine based beliefs insulate himself from his real underlying self.

Further, my partner is smoking. Remember this is a dream where I am in total control of everything that goes on AND IT’S A LANGUAGE. My partner is showing my that he has some addictive masculine based beliefs, i.e. what he’s smoking. Further, he’s blowing the smoke “out the window”.

His location and action are important. Why? He’s standing beside a gap in one of my belief walls, i.e. the window. I am not near the belief wall gap. So he’s letting me know that he is a bit more advanced than I am in addressing the belief the wall is a symbol of.

Outside the window is our greater self. If this was my dream, I would let my partner know that him blowing the remnant’s of his addictive beliefs out the window is a sign that, if he wants to, he can use his greater self to assist him in addressing the underlying beliefs that he is addicted to. It’s of course his choice if he will learnt to listen to himself or not.

Next I note that both my son and my partner are standing and I am sitting on a couch. This too is important. I will take a brief sidebar here and describe what I’ve learnt about sitting, standing etc. and then return to the living room.

When I am lying down in dream, it’s a symbol that I don’t have any spiritual ability yet to even see the effects of some of my beliefs.

When I am sitting, it’s a symbol that I need spiritual support to see the effects of some of my beliefs.

When I am standing, it’s a symbol that I now can stand on my own two spiritual feet to see the effects.

When I am walking, it’s a symbol that I am now steadily moving through the beliefs.

When I am running, it’s a symbol I am moving relatively quickly through the beliefs.

Note that I have found that spiritual time and our time are too different things. Usually my dream time is far faster than my physical time. So when I am running etc. I realize that it still will take “some time”.

Back to the dream…

So, the couch is a symbol of a masculine based belief I use to spiritually support me. I can only begin to see some of the belief effects of this belief. My son and my partner are both able to stand on their own two spiritual feet to see the belief effects.

I want to add in here that we use about 200 different beliefs as energy filters to create our personality. Therefore, this room is only a symbol of several of them. So, don’t think that you are “behind” your son or your partner spiritually speaking. You’re only seeing where you are with respect to the beliefs the room is a symbol of.

Finally, I end discussion of my son and partner, by talking about what my son is doing. He’s watching a symbol of a masculine based belief we use to communicate, i.e. the TV.

TV’s, cell phones, computers et al are all symbols of masculine based beliefs that we use to spiritually communicate AND THEY’RE NOT THAT EFFECTIVE. Spiritual communication is a feminine ability. So now I know that my son and also myself, since this dream is about me, are using masculine based beliefs that are hindering our ability to spiritually communicate.

In summary then, I need to get my spiritual butt off the old masculine based belief I am using to spiritually support myself, i.e. the couch. That’s what this dream will show me. There are some other symbols of masculine based beliefs in the room, i.e. the TV, that I will need to come back and visit, i.e. the TV.

Note: See how much one can learn from just one scene about themselves! And we haven’t even gotten to the good stuff yet…the spider!

I then turn to my feelings when the dream began. This is usually the theme of the dream. I felt “Normal. It just felt like our usual evening when my partner comes home from work. He smokes, I watch my son watch his shows on Netflix.”

So, this dream is about what I think/feel is normal. I’m sort of going along on the surface, living my life, with events happening as they should. And then…

The spider enters from my feminine side, i.e. left.

“When the spider entered the scene, I reacted the way I usually do when I see abnormally large spiders: "holy shit!" And sorta freak out a little.” I am not prepared spiritually speaking for this to occur, i.e. it’s shaking me out of my ideas about “normal”.

What do my partner and son do? “But no one seemed to turn around to look at her.” That’s because it’s my dream and about me not them. They are in effect waiting for me to figure out myself spiritually speaking regarding this room. That’s why they are standing and I am sitting. I note that none of us are yet walking through the room, i.e. spiritually addressing the belief the living room is a symbol of.

As described in my earlier response, the spider is my totem.

So what did I do? “So I went after the spider, at first I was going to kill her.” And now we come to the heart of this dream. My masculine based beliefs the room, the couch and the TV are all symbols of don’t like or trust my feminine. They’re what I have come to call “command/control beliefs”.

I’ve learnt that these beliefs don’t like or trust my feminine. As a result, I build spiritual, mental and physical walls around myself to protect me from my feminine.

In my dreams this is usually symbolized by a “Controller” and a “Controlee”.

In this dream, I am the controller. I see my feminine and my first reaction is fear followed by wanting to spiritually kill it. Now I know why I am sitting on the couch.

So, I get up and follow it into the kitchen. Kitchens in my dreams are symbols of a belief compartment I use to spiritually prepare the beliefs I am going to spiritually consume.

In front of me is a symbol of a set of masculine based beliefs where I store some of my beliefs, i.e. the pantry.

I am now crouching on the ground. So, I am beginning to be able to support myself in seeing some of the effects of my beliefs, i.e. crouching.

In the kitchen, the kitchen lights were on. :The lights are a yellow color. Not harsh, not soft.” So I am using a set of masculine based beliefs, i.e. a light. I make a mental note to myself to look up the yellow colours in Leadbeater’s book to see where the effects from this set of my beliefs is affecting my body.

“Kitchen: Afternoon perhaps.” So I am showing myself I still have time to address the underlying beliefs before a spiritual darkness descends.

So what objects are in the belief compartment with me?

“My son's block holder, which is a giant see-through crayon that stands up, well, it used to (it's about 2 and a half feet tall, 5-7 inches in diameter). It's all beat up from him banging it around on things and dirty. And then the broom and dust pan. Clearly dirty from sweeping up. The dust pan is blue. Along with the handle which is also a dark silver.” “The crayon was in front of me, to the right, about 10 feet away. I honestly, can't remember where I picked the broom up from. But I know that it is the broom that we own.”

I am using a giant see through crayon…why? Hmm…play blocks. It’s things a child uses to build things with. A masculine based belief symbol. I am using this to first send myself a message where I am in the kitchen regarding addressing the beliefs…I’m at the child stage, i.e. there’s lots of what I call spiritual heavy lifting ahead if I choose to listen to this dream.

Secondly, it’s a symbol that I have relied upon my masculine based beliefs to create my surface level live. That’s what I use to build my personality with.

There’s also two symbols of yet more masculine based beliefs to address…the dust pan and the broom. Dreams are places where thoughts instantly manifest. That’s why the broom instantly was in my hand because I am sending myself a message that it’s time to spiritually clean these beliefs up.

Blue is a symbol of my throat chakra, i.e. spiritual communication. It’s also a healing colour.

Silver is a symbol of not only my feminine but also surface level beliefs I have pertaining to status, wealth and judging myself by how others judge me.

“I just decided I would capture her and let her outside. That was when I grabbed the crayon to try and capture her. At this point, I was starting to get very frustrated because I was completely unable to capture her under the crayon. There was 2 inches of space between the bottom of the opening of the crayon, and the floor. No matter how hard I pushed the crayon down, it wouldn't touch the floor, almost as if the spider had a weird force field around her that doesn't allow you to enclose her. So, I was frustrated and than confused.”

I am using old masculine based beliefs to try to contain my feminine. I am unsuccessful. I don’t yet get in my dream that I need to release these old beliefs and instead embrace my feminine. That’s why “…I was frustrated and than confused.”

“This is when I grabbed the broom and dustpan to sweep her up. I swept her up into the dust pan and was watching her curiously. I thought she was tangled up in the dust and hair, but it turned out she was just starting to make a web. She was going across from the dustpan to the broom brissles and just going back and forth, making the "web-bridge" stronger. Each time she walked back and forth, she would increase in size until she became her "strawberry-bodied self." I was in wonder. And still curious.”

And so my totem is now beginning to teach me. It’s time for me to spiritually awaken!

My totem is showing me how my feminine can survive despite the old masculine based beliefs that I am using to contain it. As it does, it spiritually grows, weaving a stronger and stronger web!

I am now beginning to awaken, i.e. “I was in wonder. And still curious.”

My totem is choosing a strawberry colour. Red and pink are colours of my two lowest chakras. So my totem is sending me a message that I need to address beliefs that affect me genitals, i.e. my ideas about masculine, feminine, gender, sex, relationships and roles.

“That is when I saw her pouches. Full of babies. It wasn't a normal spider sack. It was more like that nasty faux picture of the bot fly holes in peoples skin, but in pouch form that looked like smooth bark material...i know...weird. It grossed me out at first. Until I saw the babies moving inside the holes.”

I am then seeing how, if I allow my feminine to grow, I will then be able to give spiritual birth to myself and others. The smooth bark like material is a symbol of my feminine nurturing myself and others. Each of the babies are symbols of some of my other lives. I can help them by first learning to help myself.

“Back to wonder and curiosity, I stood up. I looked more at her strawberry self. The smaller left strawberry was bruised and soft. The right one was just soft. The BIG strawberry body, where the usual body of the spider is, was just soft as well. I got an overwhelming feeling of sadness. I looked into her eyes, which were more like cat eyes than anything else, and saw her deep sadness. Almost as if a her eyes were tearing up. So as I held her in my hand, I stroked her body. Almost petting her. She was as big as my hand. If you can picture an orb spider, but giant, that was the shape she had, just more added on things haha. I also had a short moment where I thought she might snap at me. So I stopped stroking her. I also felt a twinge of guilt for thinking I was going to kill her in the beginning, even though I knew she didn't have those pouches in the beginning. I placed her back into the dustpan where she crawled into the corner, and I put her in the bottom of the pantry which is mostly empty and dark. I thought it would help her.”

I am now able to spiritually stand on my own two feet! Hurray!

The smaller strawberry, i.e. fruit of my feminine, on my feminine side, i.e. left, is “bruised and soft.” The masculine one, i.e. right side is simply soft. I need to address my feminine side first, i.e. bruising and small.

“The BIG strawberry body, where the usual body of the spider is, was just soft as well. I got an overwhelming feeling of sadness. I looked into her eyes, which were more like cat eyes than anything else, and saw her deep sadness. Almost as if a her eyes were tearing up.”

This is the heart of this scene. My totem is trying hard to let me know it’s time to spiritually wake up. It’s me who’s projecting out of myself on to my totem sadness. I am spiritually crying out for my feminine.

“I also had a short moment where I thought she might snap at me. So I stopped stroking her. I also felt a twinge of guilt for thinking I was going to kill her in the beginning, even though I knew she didn't have those pouches in the beginning.”

My good old masculine based beliefs are still in action here. I don’t trust my feminine yet, I know that it won’t hurt me.

So what did I do?

“I placed her back into the dustpan where she crawled into the corner, and I put her in the bottom of the pantry which is mostly empty and dark. I thought it would help her.”

I am not yet ready spiritually speaking to face my totem. So I place it back in spiritual darkness.

And what were my feelings at the end? “Curiosity, slight hope, but not much.”

Therein lies the choice of this dream. If I choose to, I can use the yellow spiritual sticky pad route and park my dream in my spiritual darkness. OR, I CAN LEARN TO LISTEN TO MYSELF.

Speaking from personal experience, this path is not always easy since one must learn to face oneself BUT IT IS HIGHLY REWARDING.

If I wanted to learn to listen to myself here are some suggestions I could use:
• Learn to listen to my intuition – it’s my spiritual radar
• Keep a dream journal – each night I get a course on myself
• Learn to meditate – this is a way to connect with the greater me

There are many ways one can get in touch with one self…

Meditation is one way. The old hindi's of 2,500-3,000 years ago wanted to have out of body experiences. They did this by occupying the conscious mind allowing their inner soul to rise. Today, this is called yoga and the OBE portion is mostly an afterthought.

When they were out of their bodies, they saw energy swirling into the body from the sun, from the earth and from the side. They called these main points "chakras". Then they saw that the energy went into small points they called "nadis".

They then did something that amazes me to this day. They mapped 70,000 different nadi points and then it went up to 100,000.

This knowledge crossed over the Himalayas and went down into China. It became adopted as energy meridian lines. Today accupuncture uses this.

Yoga is simply one of many ways. On * Link Removed * I list several different ways to meditate. You can go there and see if any one of these resonates with you. If so, then give it a try.

Another way is to use the hemisync technology that Robert Monroe pioneered to help people get to the theta state and have out of body experiences. You can go to the Monroe Institute to learn more https://www.monroeinstitute.org/. Books Bob wrote can be found here * Link Removed *

Another way is to go to a hypnotist trained by the Newton Institute. This was created by a psychologist Michael Newton. About 30 or so years ago, he had a woman under hypnosis who went to a place she called her "live between lives". He then found out that many of his other patients went to a very similar place. He then write three books and began to train psychologists how to do this. The Newton Institute can be found here The Newton Institute for Life Between Lives Hypnotherapy. His books can be found here * Link Removed * On this website is a link to find a local therapist.

The choice is yours to make. I hope that some of what I’ve said above deeply resonates within you.

With kind regards,
Guy:):)

Quote:

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Originally Posted by ghuntington

Hi,
Thanks for replying! Below is my interpretation of your dream as if it was mine. Dreams are for each of us to interpret on our own. Therefore, if anything I say doesn’t resonate with you, then simply discard it. So with that said off I go…

When I do my own interpretations or that of others, I always start with the location. I could have located it anywhere, at any time in any reality and…I’ve located it here. I’ve learnt that locations help to “spiritually frame in” a dream.

I will take the first of several sidebars here to help you understand the framework I use when interpreting a dream. This one will cover what I’ve learned about beliefs, belief compartments, people and the age of people. Then I’ll return to myself in the living room.

In my dreams, things that are made by people are symbols of masculine and things of nature are symbols of feminine. I’ve learnt that before we incarnate, we carefully select the times we will live in, our families, life circumstances, challenges and potential exit points. We then carefully select our personality.

I’ve learnt we do this by selecting approximately 200 different “belief filters”. These are energy filters that have two polarities, a feminine one and a masculine one. We select the degree of polarity we are going to hold the belief, i.e. the degree of feminine or masculine. This then determines the belief vibratory level.

Each belief then works with the other beliefs, each with their own vibratory rate. They literally “filter our reality” by blocking out the greater reality vibrations we actually come from. They create the aura around us and create our thoughts/feelings for each moment.

We constantly tell ourselves about this in our dreams. We use symbolism to show ourselves about the beliefs and their limiting effects on us spiritually. We also show ourselves the “dis-ease’ created by some of our beliefs using colours in our dreams.

In my dreams buildings are symbols of what I call ‘belief compartments’. I’ve learnt that each wall is a symbol of a belief. Furniture within them are symbols of yet more beliefs that work with the overall beliefs to produce what I call are ‘belief effects’.

To symbolize to ourselves the many different types of beliefs we use in all our many lives, we often create our dreams in towns, cities or houses.

I’ve often found that in many of my dreams, people appear in the rooms or buildings. When I first began to record my dreams, many years ago, I frequently found myself in large warehouses full of boxes I had to climb over or in rooms in houses full of furniture. Imagine my surprise when I eventually learnt they boxes and furniture were symbols of masculine based beliefs I had to address first before I got to the walls!

As I spiritually listened to myself, over time, the rooms began to empty. Then I was walking through empty rooms. The next step was to see glass walls, windows and open doors, all symbols of how I was beginning to work my way out of the old belief walls. Then the walls began to disappear. In the end, I was usually flying over the old beliefs.

In many of my dreams when I began to keep a record of my dreams,, I would find myself in multi-storied houses. I then realized these are symbols of numerous belief compartments I use in one or more of my lives.

Then I found myself in towns and cities. I then realized that each one is a symbol of various belief compartments I have used in another life.

I will take another sidebar here and describe what I’ve learnt about people in my dreams…

When I first began recording my dreams, I would often find people in my dreams that I didn’t know or ones that I did know but they were doing strange things. When I tried to literally interpret my dreams, it usually didn’t work.

I had a near death experience 12 years ago that changed me. One of the changes was a determination to learn to meditate. I had stopped and started meditation all my life and had in effect gone nowhere in a hurry. So this time I was determined to stick with it.

I slowly learnt how to touch my “higher self”. One day, the thought came to me to use my higher self to assist me in interpreting my dreams. Then the dream gates swung wide open.

I’ve since learnt that people in my dreams may be who they are, symbols of my masculine and feminine, other lives, teachers, guides, oversoul, aspects of myself, people who I frequently incarnate with, etc.

When I first began to record my dreams I frequently began to see an old couple. They might change their appearance but there was almost always an old man and woman in the dream. Then a young girl and by appeared.

They too sometimes changed but they were now in the same dream as the old couple. However, they were “bit players” in my dreams as the old couple was the ones I was interacting with.

At first, I had no idea who these people were. Then, as I learnt to mediate and apply my higher self to my dream interpretations, my dreams gates swung open.

First, I learnt that the old man and women were symbols of my masculine and feminine. Next, I learnt that the young girl and boy were symbols of the feminine and masculine I could become. So I then used the terms “old masculine and feminine” and “young masculine and feminine” to describe these dream symbols to myself.

As I began to address my underlying beliefs, the old couple disappeared from my dreams and the young ones spiritually grew up.

I’ve learnt that people’s age in dreams is important.

When infants are in my dreams as other lives, this is usually a symbol we are just beginning our journey through the beliefs the dream is about.

When teenagers show up I realize I am making steady progress through my dreams.

When mature adults show up, it’s a sign that I am now spiritually maturing in dealing with the beliefs.

When old people show up in my dreams, I let out a sound of joy! It’s a sign that I am now ready to release the old beliefs.

I then learnt that things made out of natural materials are symbols of feminine beliefs that are now no longer working for me. In effect, spiritually speaking, they are now “dead” for me, i.e. dead trees – wood, etc. So, whenever I am in rooms made of wood or standing on wood, etc. I refer to this in my mind as “dead feminine”.

About a year and a half ago, I felt compelled to put together a free website documenting what I have learnt. At first, I didn’t want to because I felt what I had learnt was akin in my mind to a teaspoon of water compared to all the oceans’ water, i.e. not much. However the feeling persisted.

Today if you go to ‘learningfrommydreams’ dot com you’ll see what I created. If you go there, I suggest you look at 3 things. One is the meditation page where I list all sorts of different ways to meditate. Find one that works for you.

Then I recommend you read the dream discussion paper I posted on the website. It describes the symbolism I’ve learnt including people.

Finally, I recommend you look at the resources page where you’ll find an extensive list of things to look at.

So with this said, back to my dream…

My dream begins with me in what is a symbol for beliefs I hold in this life, i.e. my house. I’m standing in a “masculine based belief compartment”, i.e. a room made by people. What I’ve learnt is that each wall, floor and ceiling are symbols of masculine based beliefs.

Further, I’m in the “living room”. A living room is a symbol in my dreams of a set of beliefs some of my other lives and I frequently use in our incarnations, i.e. a “living” room.

I wish I could recall if there was any furniture in the room, Why? These are symbols of yet more masculine based beliefs I will need to address.

I also wish I could recall if there was any colours in the room. I will take a brief side bar here and describe what I’ve learnt about colours in my dreams. I will then return to me in the living room.

I have learnt that colours in my dreams are very important. They are symbols of how the beliefs affect different points on my etheric and physical body. The old Hindi’s of thousand of years ago saw three energies swirling into our bodies at several points they called “chakras”. Then they mapped 70,000 different smaller points they called “Nadis”. This then grew to 100,000 points. It was and is an amazing piece of work.

Since I can only see the first 6 inches or so of an aura around a person and I’m not yet able to see chakras, I use this reference for colours and general body location points “The Chakras” by David Leadbeater. You can find free copies of it online.

I find that this is the best reference I can find to date about colours but the colours in my dreams usually go beyond what I find in David’s reference.

So back to my dream…

Next I turn my attention to lighting. Here’s what I’ve learnt about lighting in my dreams. Then I’ll return to the lighting in the living room.

Lighting in my dreams is very important. It is a way of symbolizing how much en-lightenment I have with respect to the beliefs the dream is about.

Dark in my dreams is a symbol of where I haven’t yet spiritually explored my beliefs. Sunlight is a symbol that my over soul is assisting me.

When I am in rooms with no windows or doors, it’s a symbol that I am “en-lightening” myself on my own.

If there are windows and the sun is shining through, it’s a symbol that some of my belief walls are beginning to be removed and my over soul is now beginning to assist me.

Morning is a symbol I am beginning to make progress on my beliefs. Noon is a symbol I am now able to shed full spiritual enlightenment on beliefs the scene is a symbol of. Evening is a time when I am in a place of spiritual darkness with respect to the beliefs.

If it’s winter, it’s a sign that I need to reflect on my beliefs since they are frozen. If it’s spring, it’s a time that I am beginning to make spiritual progress on the beliefs. If it’s summertime, it’s a symbol that my work is now bearing spiritual fruit. If it’s fall, it indicates I am heading towards a period where I can reap the benefits by releasing old beliefs.

“Sort of dim in the living room where the dream started.” So I am showing myself that I need to “en-lighten” myself since it’s dim. “Living room: seemed like evening, maybe 5:00 or 6:00pm”. It’s starting to get to a time where I am going to enter spiritual darkness if I don’t learn to listen to my dreams!

Instead, I walk out of the room. This is what I call “leaving a spiritual yellow sticky note to myself”. What do I mean by this?

In our dreams, we frequently turn away, walk away or refuse to deal in some manner with a person, room, object, situation, etc. I’ve learnt that this is like waving a bright flag in front of us saying “Hey me! This is something I will need to come back and address when I’m ready!”, i.e. just like a sticky note! So I am showing myself that at some point, when I’m spiritually ready, I need to go back and revisit the beliefs the living room is a symbol of.

There were two people in the room with me; my son and my partner. Are they themselves or, are they symbols? They are themselves. So why are they showing up in this scene?

I’ve learnt that when people show up in the same scene as mine, they share the same underlying beliefs I do. It’s a way of letting me know that they are working spiritually with me on the same beliefs.

“They were both standing in front of me.”” …he was just in his diaper. My partner was wearing his work clothes. It's a button up dress shirt, cuffed at the elbows, and tucked in his work pants. He wore his usual belt.”” My partner was standing at the front window, smoking a cigarette and blowing the smoke outside. My son was standing about 4 feet from the TV watching Netflix.” “Neither of them interacted with me.”

I will talk for a bit here about dream people and people in our “real” lives…

A dream is a language where the dreamer is in total control of everything that is in a dream and goes on in the dream. Nothing is there by accident.

When we create people in our dreams, we do so very carefully. For instance, I could have created a dream where my son was in his play clothes or my partner was dressed up…but I didn’t. I could also have selected any age for the people, i.e., a younger or older son or a different age for my partner…but I didn’t.

Instead I choose my son standing just in his diaper. He’s nearly nude. Recalling what I said earlier about being nude in my dreams, my son is showing me, regarding the beliefs this room is about, that he’s somewhat spiritually ahead of me and my partner in dealing with it, i.e. he only has a masculine based belief symbol he’s wearing covering his genitals.

Further, my partner is showing me that he is wearing several masculine based beliefs protecting himself from himself, if this makes sense or, perhaps a better way of putting it is the masculine based beliefs insulate himself from his real underlying self.

Further, my partner is smoking. Remember this is a dream where I am in total control of everything that goes on AND IT’S A LANGUAGE. My partner is showing my that he has some addictive masculine based beliefs, i.e. what he’s smoking. Further, he’s blowing the smoke “out the window”.

His location and action are important. Why? He’s standing beside a gap in one of my belief walls, i.e. the window. I am not near the belief wall gap. So he’s letting me know that he is a bit more advanced than I am in addressing the belief the wall is a symbol of.

Outside the window is our greater self. If this was my dream, I would let my partner know that him blowing the remnant’s of his addictive beliefs out the window is a sign that, if he wants to, he can use his greater self to assist him in addressing the underlying beliefs that he is addicted to. It’s of course his choice if he will learnt to listen to himself or not.

Next I note that both my son and my partner are standing and I am sitting on a couch. This too is important. I will take a brief sidebar here and describe what I’ve learnt about sitting, standing etc. and then return to the living room.

When I am lying down in dream, it’s a symbol that I don’t have any spiritual ability yet to even see the effects of some of my beliefs.

When I am sitting, it’s a symbol that I need spiritual support to see the effects of some of my beliefs.

When I am standing, it’s a symbol that I now can stand on my own two spiritual feet to see the effects.

When I am walking, it’s a symbol that I am now steadily moving through the beliefs.

When I am running, it’s a symbol I am moving relatively quickly through the beliefs.

Note that I have found that spiritual time and our time are too different things. Usually my dream time is far faster than my physical time. So when I am running etc. I realize that it still will take “some time”.

Back to the dream…

So, the couch is a symbol of a masculine based belief I use to spiritually support me. I can only begin to see some of the belief effects of this belief. My son and my partner are both able to stand on their own two spiritual feet to see the belief effects.

I want to add in here that we use about 200 different beliefs as energy filters to create our personality. Therefore, this room is only a symbol of several of them. So, don’t think that you are “behind” your son or your partner spiritually speaking. You’re only seeing where you are with respect to the beliefs the room is a symbol of.

Finally, I end discussion of my son and partner, by talking about what my son is doing. He’s watching a symbol of a masculine based belief we use to communicate, i.e. the TV.

TV’s, cell phones, computers et al are all symbols of masculine based beliefs that we use to spiritually communicate AND THEY’RE NOT THAT EFFECTIVE. Spiritual communication is a feminine ability. So now I know that my son and also myself, since this dream is about me, are using masculine based beliefs that are hindering our ability to spiritually communicate.

In summary then, I need to get my spiritual butt off the old masculine based belief I am using to spiritually support myself, i.e. the couch. That’s what this dream will show me. There are some other symbols of masculine based beliefs in the room, i.e. the TV, that I will need to come back and visit, i.e. the TV.

Note: See how much one can learn from just one scene about themselves! And we haven’t even gotten to the good stuff yet…the spider!

I then turn to my feelings when the dream began. This is usually the theme of the dream. I felt “Normal. It just felt like our usual evening when my partner comes home from work. He smokes, I watch my son watch his shows on Netflix.”

So, this dream is about what I think/feel is normal. I’m sort of going along on the surface, living my life, with events happening as they should. And then…

The spider enters from my feminine side, i.e. left.

“When the spider entered the scene, I reacted the way I usually do when I see abnormally large spiders: "holy shit!" And sorta freak out a little.” I am not prepared spiritually speaking for this to occur, i.e. it’s shaking me out of my ideas about “normal”.

What do my partner and son do? “But no one seemed to turn around to look at her.” That’s because it’s my dream and about me not them. They are in effect waiting for me to figure out myself spiritually speaking regarding this room. That’s why they are standing and I am sitting. I note that none of us are yet walking through the room, i.e. spiritually addressing the belief the living room is a symbol of.

As described in my earlier response, the spider is my totem.

So what did I do? “So I went after the spider, at first I was going to kill her.” And now we come to the heart of this dream. My masculine based beliefs the room, the couch and the TV are all symbols of don’t like or trust my feminine. They’re what I have come to call “command/control beliefs”.

I’ve learnt that these beliefs don’t like or trust my feminine. As a result, I build spiritual, mental and physical walls around myself to protect me from my feminine.

In my dreams this is usually symbolized by a “Controller” and a “Controlee”.

In this dream, I am the controller. I see my feminine and my first reaction is fear followed by wanting to spiritually kill it. Now I know why I am sitting on the couch.

So, I get up and follow it into the kitchen. Kitchens in my dreams are symbols of a belief compartment I use to spiritually prepare the beliefs I am going to spiritually consume.

In front of me is a symbol of a set of masculine based beliefs where I store some of my beliefs, i.e. the pantry.

I am now crouching on the ground. So, I am beginning to be able to support myself in seeing some of the effects of my beliefs, i.e. crouching.

In the kitchen, the kitchen lights were on. :The lights are a yellow color. Not harsh, not soft.” So I am using a set of masculine based beliefs, i.e. a light. I make a mental note to myself to look up the yellow colours in Leadbeater’s book to see where the effects from this set of my beliefs is affecting my body.

“Kitchen: Afternoon perhaps.” So I am showing myself I still have time to address the underlying beliefs before a spiritual darkness descends.

So what objects are in the belief compartment with me?

“My son's block holder, which is a giant see-through crayon that stands up, well, it used to (it's about 2 and a half feet tall, 5-7 inches in diameter). It's all beat up from him banging it around on things and dirty. And then the broom and dust pan. Clearly dirty from sweeping up. The dust pan is blue. Along with the handle which is also a dark silver.” “The crayon was in front of me, to the right, about 10 feet away. I honestly, can't remember where I picked the broom up from. But I know that it is the broom that we own.”

I am using a giant see through crayon…why? Hmm…play blocks. It’s things a child uses to build things with. A masculine based belief symbol. I am using this to first send myself a message where I am in the kitchen regarding addressing the beliefs…I’m at the child stage, i.e. there’s lots of what I call spiritual heavy lifting ahead if I choose to listen to this dream.

Secondly, it’s a symbol that I have relied upon my masculine based beliefs to create my surface level live. That’s what I use to build my personality with.

There’s also two symbols of yet more masculine based beliefs to address…the dust pan and the broom. Dreams are places where thoughts instantly manifest. That’s why the broom instantly was in my hand because I am sending myself a message that it’s time to spiritually clean these beliefs up.

Blue is a symbol of my throat chakra, i.e. spiritual communication. It’s also a healing colour.

Silver is a symbol of not only my feminine but also surface level beliefs I have pertaining to status, wealth and judging myself by how others judge me.

“I just decided I would capture her and let her outside. That was when I grabbed the crayon to try and capture her. At this point, I was starting to get very frustrated because I was completely unable to capture her under the crayon. There was 2 inches of space between the bottom of the opening of the crayon, and the floor. No matter how hard I pushed the crayon down, it wouldn't touch the floor, almost as if the spider had a weird force field around her that doesn't allow you to enclose her. So, I was frustrated and than confused.”

I am using old masculine based beliefs to try to contain my feminine. I am unsuccessful. I don’t yet get in my dream that I need to release these old beliefs and instead embrace my feminine. That’s why “…I was frustrated and than confused.”

“This is when I grabbed the broom and dustpan to sweep her up. I swept her up into the dust pan and was watching her curiously. I thought she was tangled up in the dust and hair, but it turned out she was just starting to make a web. She was going across from the dustpan to the broom brissles and just going back and forth, making the "web-bridge" stronger. Each time she walked back and forth, she would increase in size until she became her "strawberry-bodied self." I was in wonder. And still curious.”

And so my totem is now beginning to teach me. It’s time for me to spiritually awaken!

My totem is showing me how my feminine can survive despite the old masculine based beliefs that I am using to contain it. As it does, it spiritually grows, weaving a stronger and stronger web!

I am now beginning to awaken, i.e. “I was in wonder. And still curious.”

My totem is choosing a strawberry colour. Red and pink are colours of my two lowest chakras. So my totem is sending me a message that I need to address beliefs that affect me genitals, i.e. my ideas about masculine, feminine, gender, sex, relationships and roles.

“That is when I saw her pouches. Full of babies. It wasn't a normal spider sack. It was more like that nasty faux picture of the bot fly holes in peoples skin, but in pouch form that looked like smooth bark material...i know...weird. It grossed me out at first. Until I saw the babies moving inside the holes.”

I am then seeing how, if I allow my feminine to grow, I will then be able to give spiritual birth to myself and others. The smooth bark like material is a symbol of my feminine nurturing myself and others. Each of the babies are symbols of some of my other lives. I can help them by first learning to help myself.

“Back to wonder and curiosity, I stood up. I looked more at her strawberry self. The smaller left strawberry was bruised and soft. The right one was just soft. The BIG strawberry body, where the usual body of the spider is, was just soft as well. I got an overwhelming feeling of sadness. I looked into her eyes, which were more like cat eyes than anything else, and saw her deep sadness. Almost as if a her eyes were tearing up. So as I held her in my hand, I stroked her body. Almost petting her. She was as big as my hand. If you can picture an orb spider, but giant, that was the shape she had, just more added on things haha. I also had a short moment where I thought she might snap at me. So I stopped stroking her. I also felt a twinge of guilt for thinking I was going to kill her in the beginning, even though I knew she didn't have those pouches in the beginning. I placed her back into the dustpan where she crawled into the corner, and I put her in the bottom of the pantry which is mostly empty and dark. I thought it would help her.”

I am now able to spiritually stand on my own two feet! Hurray!

The smaller strawberry, i.e. fruit of my feminine, on my feminine side, i.e. left, is “bruised and soft.” The masculine one, i.e. right side is simply soft. I need to address my feminine side first, i.e. bruising and small.

“The BIG strawberry body, where the usual body of the spider is, was just soft as well. I got an overwhelming feeling of sadness. I looked into her eyes, which were more like cat eyes than anything else, and saw her deep sadness. Almost as if a her eyes were tearing up.”

This is the heart of this scene. My totem is trying hard to let me know it’s time to spiritually wake up. It’s me who’s projecting out of myself on to my totem sadness. I am spiritually crying out for my feminine.

“I also had a short moment where I thought she might snap at me. So I stopped stroking her. I also felt a twinge of guilt for thinking I was going to kill her in the beginning, even though I knew she didn't have those pouches in the beginning.”

My good old masculine based beliefs are still in action here. I don’t trust my feminine yet, I know that it won’t hurt me.

So what did I do?

“I placed her back into the dustpan where she crawled into the corner, and I put her in the bottom of the pantry which is mostly empty and dark. I thought it would help her.”

I am not yet ready spiritually speaking to face my totem. So I place it back in spiritual darkness.

And what were my feelings at the end? “Curiosity, slight hope, but not much.”

Therein lies the choice of this dream. If I choose to, I can use the yellow spiritual sticky pad route and park my dream in my spiritual darkness. OR, I CAN LEARN TO LISTEN TO MYSELF.

Speaking from personal experience, this path is not always easy since one must learn to face oneself BUT IT IS HIGHLY REWARDING.

If I wanted to learn to listen to myself here are some suggestions I could use:
• Learn to listen to my intuition – it’s my spiritual radar
• Keep a dream journal – each night I get a course on myself
• Learn to meditate – this is a way to connect with the greater me

There are many ways one can get in touch with one self…

Meditation is one way. The old hindi's of 2,500-3,000 years ago wanted to have out of body experiences. They did this by occupying the conscious mind allowing their inner soul to rise. Today, this is called yoga and the OBE portion is mostly an afterthought.

When they were out of their bodies, they saw energy swirling into the body from the sun, from the earth and from the side. They called these main points "chakras". Then they saw that the energy went into small points they called "nadis".

They then did something that amazes me to this day. They mapped 70,000 different nadi points and then it went up to 100,000.

This knowledge crossed over the Himalayas and went down into China. It became adopted as energy meridian lines. Today accupuncture uses this.

Yoga is simply one of many ways. On Meditation – Learning From My Dreams | Dream Interpretation I list several different ways to meditate. You can go there and see if any one of these resonates with you. If so, then give it a try.

Another way is to use the hemisync technology that Robert Monroe pioneered to help people get to the theta state and have out of body experiences. You can go to the Monroe Institute to learn more https://www.monroeinstitute.org/. Books Bob wrote can be found here https://www.amazon.com/s/ref=la_B00N...qid=1477584351

Another way is to go to a hypnotist trained by the Newton Institute. This was created by a psychologist Michael Newton. About 30 or so years ago, he had a woman under hypnosis who went to a place she called her "live between lives". He then found out that many of his other patients went to a very similar place. He then write three books and began to train psychologists how to do this. The Newton Institute can be found here The Newton Institute for Life Between Lives Hypnotherapy. His books can be found here https://www.amazon.com/Michael-Newto...7584245&sr=1-1 On this website is a link to find a local therapist.

The choice is yours to make. I hope that some of what I’ve said above deeply resonates within you.

With kind regards,
Guy:):)

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There is SO much information here, it's incredible. I can't thank you enough. There is a lot here to consider and think about. It has been tremendously helpful. I will definitely check out your website, (bookmark it), and read more into Leadbeater's book! Sorry it took so long for me to respond! It was a lot to take in...
I definitely know what my next step to take is. Thank you with all my heart.

With Love,
-anything is possible.

Hi,
No thanks required.
Enjoy your spiritual journey.
Guy
PS Get writing!!!!!!:)