I keep seeing a man in my dreams since September. He's in his 30's, he's got burns on most of his body, lacks both his ears, his irises used to be white until recently, and first time I saw him he lacked the tip of his nose. The dreams he's in always feel real, and at first I used to brush them off as simple dreams, but now I'm starting to worry about all this.
First time I saw him I was running from something or some people that wanted to harm me (I've had dreams of being chased since I was a kid), and he helped me get away. He took me to his house that seemed large and everything was in white,black and dark burgundy. I couldn't stand looking at him and I didn't trust him although he was very kind and quiet. He offered me different kinds of food,sweets and drinks, but I denied all of them (in my country, being offered food, drink or gifts in a dream is a bad omen). He insisted that I at least drank some water because I looked pale, and he almost forced me into drinking it. Then I started feeling really tired me he took me to a guest bedroom to sleep, and I locked the door because as I said before I didn't trust him. I woke up to find the door open, and once I exited the room I realisted all doors and windows were open, and the man's burns now looked older/shallower,he had all of his nose, and he seemed more energetic andless introverted than before. He told me we had to go. From that point on he kept trying to confess that was in love with me but always paused and changed topic in the end, or stopped talking at all. I don't remember what happened after that. The dream ended with me somehow getting stabbed from behind by another man while I was naked.
And since then I began seeing him in my dreams from time to time, or seeing signs of him. At first he'd only appear for a momment, look at me and then disappear again, or I'd hear his voice but then I'd forget what he said. Then the dreams began turning sexual. First time I dreamt about him raping me, it felt real and a few hours later I had a very high fever in real life. During the dream I was numb, scared and I couldn't move, but a part of me wanted it (I have no idea why).
Sometimes he'd appear and rape me, sometimes he'd appear and comfort me if I were sad in real life, sometimes he'd just stand and stare at me from a distance. And the more often I saw him, the less he looked like a walking corpse. His skin went from pale to normal, his irises went from white to dark green, and he began making expressions (he could barely make expressions at first), but his burns remained.
There was a time when I dreamt he actually called me on my phone, I was in a half-awake state and when I woke up I was holding my phone but of course nobody had called. Sometimes his apparition scares me or makes me angry and sometimes it comforts me.
Lately I keep seeing him almost every night. Sometimes I get dizzy all of a sudden while I'm laying in bed, and I enter a half-asleep state almost immediatly and start being afraid that he's around. Sometimes I wake up because I feel my limbs being tossed to the side of the bed or twitching. That never happened until recently.
Three nights ago I saw in my dream that he had written three or four books: The first book gave advice to burn victims that are trying to recover from physical and (mostly) mental injury. The title was "Reborn form your ashes" and there was a phoenix on the cover. The second book was about me. The author's name on the book was Aizel. Inside he noted things about me such as traits, fears, dislikes, things I enjoy, but also wrote about the people around me, and even my daily schedule and other creepy details like those. There were also sexual sketches of me, some of them were scenes from past dreams I've had of him raping me, and one sketch I remember clearly was him ejaculating on my breasts and face. He didn't draw himself on any of the sketches and instead focused only on me and what he did to me.I didn't get to read the two other books because he then showed up, in a black formal suit, his burns were fresh and bleeding, and he once again lacked his nose for the first time in months. He looked sad and tried to give me a bouquet of flowers, saying "I know you want to leave me, but I'll keep trying to win you back."
Last night I felt dizzy and numb again and fell asleep, and this time I saw him standing over me and masturbating and he said something that I forgot once I woke up. This time his burns were even more severe but in an early healing state, and had formed a thin layer of white skin on most of the burns, while others were still open and fresh. This time he had a nose, but the fresh scar tissue on his face looked like he was wearing a mask with most of his features looking flat or melted. His face this time scared me so bad that I felt my heart skipping a beat and I woke up thinking my heart almost stopped. This time he felt completely real and I haven't slept since 5 am when I woke up.
If I lived alone I'd think there's a real person entering my house, drugging me and raping me. Sometimes I hear the elevator opening outside my front door after 3 am, and my family and dogs also hear it. Then we hear the elevator door close again, and the elevator goes back down. But there's no way that is connected to the man I keep seeing, and the front door has 3 safety locks.
I'd talk to a psychologist about all this if I weren't afraid of what they'd think of me or what treatment they'd suggest. I don't have any mental disease as far as I know. There are many details I skipped because I wanted to focus on the most important parts. I hope someone will have the time to read my post and give me some advice or an explanation as to why I might be seeing those dreams or what they could mean. Thank you.