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    Thread: Broken Heart and sexual assault

    1. #1
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      Broken Heart and sexual assault

      I'm a 30 year old woman 2 months into a long distance relationship where we met in person but unfortunately live in different states. He visited me last month, this month is my turn. It is my first time going to his state. I leave in 3 days. He is a main staple in this dream the other person I know that is included in this dream is a male friend that is like a brother to me. The dream starts with me laying in bed cuddling with my boyfriend in our hotel room. I needed to use the restroom so I got up and went. When I got out of the bathroom, he wasn't there. I started screaming his name and looking everywhere for him. I felt so scared and hopeless and abandoned. I went outside and was screaming his name and I saw this person who was the same body build as my boyfriend. I asked him if it was him. He told me that he was my friend that's like my brother to me. I told him that my boyfriend was missing. He told me that he was about to catch the bus and we could go look for him. I had no shoes on. I didn't put my shoes on either just started walking with him. As we were walking I sent my boyfriend a text saying "where the f are you" he sent me a very long text message telling me that he was with his ex, never left her he's going to marry her and have children with her, he was using me for sex and to pay off his poetry book that he is working on in real life that I am paying off as his Christmas gift. And called me fat ugly and other things that I have real life insecurities with. Also told me I was stupid for believing that this was real between us. I started telling my friend about it and just balling my eyes out as I really love this man (yes I know that it's a little soon I don't care it's how I feel) my friend told me he was sorry to hear that. My feet were really wet and cold as its winter and he lives in a northern state. They were hurting really bad. My friend passed the bus stop and I asked where we were going. He told me to just trust him. He brought me to a group of guys who proceeded to rape me. Before I met my boyfriend I was in a very abusive relationship that included a lot of sexual abuse. This dream is haunting my thoughts and I think if maybe I can understand it maybe it will help me deal with the thoughts associated with it as I'm feeling very lost and scared for this visit now as before this dream I was extremely excited for it. I have spoken to my boyfriend about it and he has reassured me multiple times that he would never do any of the things that happened in the dream.
      LighrkVader likes this.

    2. #2
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      It looks like this upsetting dream could be trying symbolically to give you some clues about how to make sure that you don’t tend to fall into another bad relationship like the one before the current one.

      But just to start off by saying that the language of dreams is based on metaphors and analogies just like poetry, and these range from the simple to the very complex.

      And any given symbol always potentially has two poles, one that’s positive and the other which is negative. For example, a given animal can appear as being friendly or as being angry and dangerous in dreams.

      To make things more complicated, one symbol in a dream can also have multiple layers.

      There are, on the other hand, many dream motifs whose meaning can be tentatively relied on at first in a general way when working at an interpretation because experience shows that their basic gist doesn’t change very much.

      For example, anything that is “behind” the dreamer usually denotes somehow the idea of the dreamer being unaware of something whether inner, outer or both.

      This is based on the simple analogy that, for instance, we can’t see unaided what is behind us and are therefore “unaware” and “unconscious” of it. Because this is such a basic comparison, it doesn’t often change very much.

      Your dream starts off in a hotel bedroom where you’re cuddling with your current boyfriend. Because a hotel is generally a place where anybody at all can stay, its image in a dream is different from, say, a house which is more “individual”. This might suggest that you could at times be caught up in maybe indiscriminately wanting too much “what everybody else has” as defined by what’s on television and in the movies etc. If so, this could potentially lead you into relationships etc. that aren’t suited enough to you personally.

      You then go into the restroom, return to find your boyfriend unexpectedly gone and this lets off a storm of emotion. A restroom of course is where “peeing” occurs, the medical term for which is the “expression of urine”. On analogy, this is linked by analogy to any needed “expression of feelings” in order to remain well. But it looks like things can go well in relationships maybe until a few small doubts and worries appear about whether you’re really accepted as a person, and this can become an uncontrollable flood of emotions which can tend to disrupt a relationship.

      The image related to the confusion between your boyfriend and your male friend (who is like a brother to you) could possibly symbolize the danger of depending on men to give you a sense of worth and well-being. For example, the man who is like a brother to you “betrays” you in the dream by allowing you to be brutally raped. The “rapists” probably symbolize the unfortunately negative thoughts, opinions and insecurities about yourself which maybe can make you vulnerable to accepting men who can let you down in some way. The idea could be that basically, you might have to work at gradually building up feelings of self-worth and confidence from within yourself instead of just relying on the opinions of others which can be unreliable to say the least, depending on the persons involved. That way, you’d instead tend to have better control over the inner negative thoughts and opinions about yourself that apparently come into to your mind too often at this time.

      In this way of looking at your dream, not having any shoes on in cold weather could symbolize that this inner “protection” related to feelings of self-confidence and worth tends to be missing too often, possibly making you vulnerable to being “led around” too much (e.g. the man says you should follow him to the “collective” bus station) by certain fixed opinions about how you should act and what you should do etc. instead of looking for what’s really best for you as an individual. If so, the dream seems to say that this tends to lead to nothing but heartache (e.g. you end up being brutally raped in the dream).

      Maybe you should step back a little and reflect on whether any of these ideas about your dream seem to make any sense in your actual situation so that you could make sure you’re not being taken advantage of in some way by your new boyfriend. For example, if the money you’re giving him to pay off his poetry book could tend to put you under any kind of financial strain, this might point to you not having enough feelings of confidence about yourself so that you might tend to “buy” people’s liking of you in whatever way which of course could be very harmful to your own self-interest over time.

      Anyway, without knowing much about you, this way of looking at your upsetting dream might not fit your personal circumstances very well, but I hope that these ideas can be helpful in some way.

      Please feel free to comment on, or to ask any questions about, this particular way of looking at your dream.

    3. #3
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      It looks like this upsetting dream could be trying symbolically to give you some clues about how to make sure that you don’t tend to fall into another bad relationship like the one before the current one.

      But just to start off by saying that the language of dreams is based on metaphors and analogies just like poetry, and these range from the simple to the very complex.

      And any given symbol always potentially has two poles, one that’s positive and the other which is negative. For example, a given animal can appear as being friendly or as being angry and dangerous in dreams.

      To make things more complicated, one symbol in a dream can also have multiple layers.

      There are, on the other hand, many dream motifs whose meaning can be tentatively relied on at first in a general way when working at an interpretation because experience shows that their basic gist doesn’t change very much.

      For example, anything that is “behind” the dreamer usually denotes somehow the idea of the dreamer being unaware of something whether inner, outer or both.

      This is based on the simple analogy that, for instance, we can’t see unaided what is behind us and are therefore “unaware” and “unconscious” of it. Because this is such a basic comparison, it doesn’t often change very much.

      Your dream starts off in a hotel bedroom where you’re cuddling with your current boyfriend. Because a hotel is generally a place where anybody at all can stay, its image in a dream is different from, say, a house which is more “individual”. This might suggest that you could at times be caught up in maybe indiscriminately wanting too much “what everybody else has” as defined by what’s on television and in the movies etc. If so, this could potentially lead you into relationships etc. that aren’t suited enough to you personally.

      You then go into the restroom, return to find your boyfriend unexpectedly gone and this lets off a storm of emotion. A restroom of course is where “peeing” occurs, the medical term for which is the “expression of urine”. On analogy, this is linked by analogy to any needed “expression of feelings” in order to remain well. But it looks like things can go well in relationships maybe until a few small doubts and worries appear about whether you’re really accepted as a person, and this can become an uncontrollable flood of emotions which can tend to disrupt a relationship.

      The image related to the confusion between your boyfriend and your male friend (who is like a brother to you) could possibly symbolize the danger of depending on men to give you a sense of worth and well-being. For example, the man who is like a brother to you “betrays” you in the dream by allowing you to be brutally raped. The “rapists” probably symbolize the unfortunately negative thoughts, opinions and insecurities about yourself which maybe can make you vulnerable to accepting men who can let you down in some way. The idea could be that basically, you might have to work at gradually building up feelings of self-worth and confidence from within yourself instead of just relying on the opinions of others which can be unreliable to say the least, depending on the persons involved. That way, you’d instead tend to have better control over the inner negative thoughts and opinions about yourself that apparently come into to your mind too often at this time.

      In this way of looking at your dream, not having any shoes on in cold weather could symbolize that this inner “protection” related to feelings of self-confidence and worth tends to be missing too often, possibly making you vulnerable to being “led around” too much (e.g. the man says you should follow him to the “collective” bus station) by certain fixed opinions about how you should act and what you should do etc. instead of looking for what’s really best for you as an individual. If so, the dream seems to say that this tends to lead to nothing but heartache (e.g. you end up being brutally raped in the dream).

      Maybe you should step back a little and reflect on whether any of these ideas about your dream seem to make any sense in your actual situation so that you could make sure you’re not being taken advantage of in some way by your new boyfriend. For example, if the money you’re giving him to pay off his poetry book could tend to put you under any kind of financial strain, this might point to you not having enough feelings of confidence about yourself so that you might tend to “buy” people’s liking of you in whatever way which of course could be very harmful to your own self-interest over time.

      Anyway, without knowing much about you, this way of looking at your upsetting dream might not fit your personal circumstances very well, but I hope that these ideas can be helpful in some way.

      Please feel free to comment on, or to ask any questions about, this particular way of looking at your dream.

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