How Mentally damaged am i?

[ShiniTets]

So before i start i want you guys to know i am new here this is my first post and im honestly looking for an answer or more on this but i want to introduce myself a little im 20 im a male and to save alot of time lets just say i have gone through ALOT in my life and all of which alone thats really the only way i know how to deal with things because i have no one else i also find it extremely hard to find a GF so i have no one to go to about these things and that is honestly from my understanding the biggest need i have in my life is to have a true companion, partner, Girlfriend but due to some things i wanna do in life there are a few major roadblocks for me to get there that i just havent been able to over come as of yet so anyways this isnt exactly a dream its more like a cluster of dreams with one thing in common they all involve a girl so here goes DREAM START: (CONTEXT) (a little bit ago i was working out and i must have hurt my left shoulder something bad because it still hurts to this day and i feel like i tore something a bit in my shoulder i think and im REALLY worried i will need surgery and i dont want that i just want it to be fine...) well one night as of recently i remember in the dream i cant remember much from it but i could tell the dream kept fast forwarding to different places but the part i do remember is i was in what seemed to be a lighter colored room maybe like a doctors office but not? and there was a girl right in front of me about less than an inch away from me because my head was against her chest as i was sitting and she was standing and i had my hands on her sides but morso holding the bottoms of her shirt and i was shaking a bit (in real life i have definitely a bit of anxiety and can gain calmness by just grabbing a piece of the girl im with' shirt or maybe her hand generally the sleeve or shirt bottom) and i could tell me and her were together in some way and she said something i could tell we were talking about my shoulder and she said "dont worry, you're not going to need surgery." but the dream is so fragmented i dont want to 100% say it was that because i remember her saying that yet also i wanna say i remember her saying that i do need surgery DREAM 2 (my biggest want or i guess you could call fantasy is just sleeping with a girl no sex or anything like that at all just to cuddle in the coldness of the storm) in this dream i remember i was at my grandparents old place and i knew it was haunted and it was like i was just a little lucid just enough to know i had, had this dream before a few times but not to remember when or realize i was dreaming in the first place and i was trying to tell my grandmother it was haunted and we couldnt stay there part of me feeling like this was gonna be a nightmare but still not that quite lucid and the dream fast forwarded and it was completely dark in the room i was sleeping on the floor and when i got up to look around there were i guess you could say college girls sleeping on the floor around me not with me but around me i didnt know any of them and didnt really see they're faces either but for whatever reason i walked over to one and laid down with her and she was sleeping on her back in a hoodie and pajama pants so i laid down with my blanket and laid my head on her stomach thus falling asleep with her and i remember feeling nothing but warmth from her and it felt like the dream was giving me other emotions of feeling from her and i could tell she was kind and sweet and was accepting kinda like if this was real life i knew for a fact when i woke up she wouldnt beat the hell out of me or something or scream or whatever like she was with me but i didnt get the feeling me and her were together like the previous dream dream 3 night 2 not much to this one the only part i remember is that i was sitting on the ground and everything around me was bright like maybe i had my eyes closed i was sitting against like a park bench i think and there was a girl sitting on it and again i didnt see her face or know who she was but i had the feeling we were together i was laying my head against her leg and i just remember her hand brushing through my hair like when someone plays with your hair or pets you and she did it about 2 but maybe 3 times and i woke up all 3 dreams felt pretty real but that one felt extremely real like i could tell exactly where her hand was on my head and individual fingers you know what did all 3 dreams have in common? they featured a girl whom i have never seen before and 2 out of the 3 dreams i didnt even see her face i felt like we were together in most of them and it was the same continuous feeling of warmth and understanding, acceptance and more like she was a real GF so my questions... what do you guys think? and just how mentally damaged am i?...because i know a bit about lucid dreaming and i know that without being lucid you can change the dream and that dreams are a product of your sub conscious or the dreamer behind the dream or the dream "architect" trying to teach, show, or tell you something and i got into Lucid dreaming even though i have had a few but never really been able to pick it up i got into it originally because i wanted to use it as a type of internal therapy so i can give myself therapeutic experiences like these 3 dreams but every night and as of late because of facing my circumstances and still everything that has happened to me in the last couple years its been pushing me to the brink of insanity...even further than i have been in the past...yet all of a sudden out of know where these dreams come in and made me calm and help me level out a bit this has never happened to me before...so in my experience you can go to bed hoping to dream of something and not getting what you want i always wrote it off as "i guess my sub-conscious didnt think it was important enough" or "he wanted to teach me something else tonight" so just how mentally damaged do you have to be for your subconscious to literally be like "alright you know what maybe i should step in and help this once" ?

[Tavasion]

First off, welcome to DV! Quite a long post you have there. Let me just say, DV has helped a lot of people over the years find answers to a lot of different things. Dreaming is truly a magical facet of humanity, it allows us to process and work out things on our minds, problems, stresses, obsessions, desires, drives, you name it. I got interested in LDing when I was a young teen. I saw it as an escape from the real world, from my problems. However, dreams are just that: and escape. They aren't going to solve problems for you. They can give you insight, or clarity, but if you see a problem in your life, my recommendation would be to be active in trying to solve it, outside of dreams. If you're lonely, find an activity that puts you with people. I'm the same way, super introverted. I love to play games, so to get me more comfortable with people and talking, I play Overwatch and talk to my teammates. It gets me out of my comfort zone, and I have made some real friends now though that. Find something that works for you, but the key is that YOU have to do it, YOU have to start. Another thing I picked up on is you seem very preoccupied with finding a partner. I would bet you are thinking about this constantly, and that is in turn influencing your dreams. One main school of thought in current dream psychology is that dreams are a way for our brain to process the day's events, encode what is deemed important, then encode and store. If you are constantly thinking about something, it will inevitably show up in your dreams. Finally, You say you've been through a lot, you're "mentally damaged, a few other items telling us that you see yourself as having a pretty damaged mental state. Again, I've been there, as well. The best thing I would say to that is to find a therapist, or psychiatrist, to talk to. I speak from mounds of personal experience that speaking with someone, and figuring out proper diagnosis for oneself, and thus the best course of treatment, you will feel mentally better and more stable. Just my two cents on the matter. Anyway, welcome again, and please check out all of the various sub-forums. While it has slowed a bit, DV will always be a valuable resource for learning how to grow as a person, both through dreams, and great communication with the awesome people here! Talk to you soon, Shin!