Hi everyone! My first time posting about my dreams, I've had 3 this week about my ex-fiance and his current girlfriend. A bit of background info:
We were in an LDR for 2.5 years and engaged for 1.5 years. Weeks away from getting our visa to get married he spirals, panics and tells me he's not good enough for me and he can't face me moving across the world for him and ruining my life. He suffers from anxiety and depression, rough childhood, constantly feeling guilty and worthless, a big avoidant. We break up Jan 2018. He doesn't want to lose touch with me, throughout the year he tells me he loves me, misses me, can't fathom life without me etc. At the same time he gets involved with a girl he works with, tells me it doesn't mean anything, he doesn't want to hurt her feelings etc. I know him well enough that he is using this poor girl as a painkiller, he struggles to be alone for long and he got involved with her as it was easy, local and she most likely isn't pushing him to do better in his life as that made him uncomfortable (stepping outside of his comfort zone). They've been together for around 6-7 months now, no doubt there are feelings involved but I know how his mind/feelings work.

We haven't spoken to each other since October 2018, the longest its ever been, as I called him out on his rubbish behaviour towards his girlfriend and me and he had a hissy fit. Despite this, I do still love him and care about him. It's been a difficult break-up to process. But recently he hasn't consumed my mind so much during the day. I'm moving forward with my life - new job, new house, new car, new hobbies, healthier mind and lifestyle. But I will always having feelings for him. I haven't seen him for a year and 2 months, haven't had any contact with him for 2 months. I don't know his girlfriend, have never met her. If I'm honest, deep down I do want him back but my head knows its best not to go there.

I used to meditate and do yoga, fell out of the habit and have just started again particularly with meditation as its helping me sleep (I've had a recent bereavement in my family). This week, I've had 3 dreams involving my ex and his girlfriend. I didn't dream about him at all when he was consuming my mind all the time up until a couple of weeks ago, but since meditating I have had these 3 dreams over 4 nights. Any insights into helping me understand them would be great, thank you!

Info about me: 36, female, living near London UK, currently staying with my parents but moving in a few weeks with a friend. I have some anger towards my ex for how he treated me, confusion over his behaviour but a lot of love and care for him still.

Info about him: 38, male, living in the USA. He has a lot of anxiety and depression. He was upset and cried when we broke up (he had never cried before). He got angry with me everytime I tried to break away from him and move on. When I didn't he was happy, calm, sometimes thoughtful. When he had had a drink he would often call or message me and talk to me, tell me how much he missed me and how much he hates himself for not being good enough for me. He has a hard time processing his feelings, wants and thoughts - he never seems to know what he wants and just focuses on doing things for other people. He feels guilty about something all the time. He feels like he's worthless and not good enough for anything, thinks he will always fail. He is a big ball of anxiety and depression, he had recently finally gone to therapy and college after 3 years of me encouraging him but I'm not sure if he is still going. He finds it hard to talk about anything involving emotions or feelings unless he has had a couple of drinks, like it lets down his inhibitions.

1st dream: It's completely dark and quiet, I can't tell if I'm outside or inside. I'm not wearing a jacket but just normal clothes. It doesn't feel cold or warm, it's almost like it's just a black background because suddenly I see my ex walking towards me clearly. There is no light shining down on him or anything, it's like there's black nothingness and he just appears in full colour. He's wearing his usual attire of shorts, tshirt and trainers. He walks towards me smiling. I don't remember feeling anything other than surprise that he's there and walking towards me. Then I hear a cry of pain from somewhere (not from my ex). He glances over his shoulder behind him, keeps walking towards me with his smile fading then goes off to my right slowly walking. I run forwards (not towards him) and I suddenly see his girlfriend sitting on the floor with her knees to one side, her face crumpled up crying and one of her arms out in the air as if wanting someone to pull her up. She isn't in physical pain, for some reason I know she's in emotional pain. I kneel down beside her, she doesn't respond to me being there and cries out again. I try to take her hand then I put my arm around her shoulders, and for some reason I know its my ex who has caused her pain. I look to where my ex has stopped and is looking at me. He puts his hands in his pockets, shrugs his shoulders and has an 'I dunno' look on his face but with no concern. I start saying to his girlfriend 'he's not worth it, he's not worth it'. She continues to cry. I look up, meet my ex's eyes and then I wake up.

2nd dream: I just remember snippets of this one. At the beginning I'm in a huge building, like a fancy hotel, beautiful and bright colours, lots of people walking around happy and smiling. (Before bed I was watching a tv show where lots of people were in a conference at a fancy hotel with a spa). Next thing I know, I'm in the same building but it's derelict and I can't see anyone else. It has random piles of bricks and wood and building supplies laying around in different corridors, dust everywhere. High ceilings and windows. Everything is a shade of grey except for me. There's complete quiet. There is no one else around and as I'm walking down a corridor, I hear footsteps. I turn around and my ex is standing there in a smart tuxedo (I've never seen him wear a tuxedo or a suit). He is in colour with everything around him grey too. He has a smirk on his face. I don't seem to feel anything at seeing him. He stops walking when I stop walking. I carry on walking and he follows, and I don't remember what he says but I do remember that they were comments trying to wind me up, nothing overly cruel or mean but just trying to get a reaction out of me. A few comments about the place being a mess thrown in too. I keep walking slowly, he keeps following making the odd comment here or there. Then the next thing I remember, I'm standing naked in a big white towel (previously I was just wearing normal clothes, I think jeans and trainers). Again everything is still grey. I'm in a different corridor about to go into my hotel room which basically is also a complete mess with the entire front of it (wall and door) missing. And a little along the corridor, my ex is standing there in the same tuxedo, with his hands in his pockets and again a smirk on my face. And I don't remember his exact words but it was basically 'stop trying to get me back, I'm never coming back to you' (until recently when he was on my mind a lot, I was daydreaming about different ways that we might end up back together in the future). Then his ex girlfriend appears by his side like an apparition. He puts his arm around her whilst looking at me. Then he takes her face in his hands and passionately kisses her, when he breaks away he looks at me and he throws his head back and laughs cruelly. His laugh echoes loudly all around the corridor and the entire building, getting louder and louder, it's all I can hear. Then I wake up. The dream timeline is all on one day.

3rd dream: Again I can only remember snippets of this one. I'm in a big house which is really busy with lots of people moving about, doing things, talking to each other. Some of the people there are my family members. Everyone is dressed up. Suddenly a woman appears in front of me but I don't remember looking at her face in the dream. I just know she is my ex's girlfriend. She is holding a cream dress with lots of ruffles of different colours and asking me to help her accessorise. It isn't said but I know it is for her wedding. I tell her I am not the best person to ask to help with this. She keeps telling me everyone said that I will help her and she wants to wear denim accessories?! Then I'm moving through the crowd of people including lots of my family. I see my recently deceased sister but in my dream she is alive and there is no knowledge of her having died. She is busy talking to someone and I keep walking. Then I'm in a large area with makeshift booths set up but instead of chairs and tables, there are just piles of duvets to sit on in each booth area. I'm in a corner one with my teenage nephew who is playing a handheld console. In the middle of the room is a spiral staircase and you can see part of the floor above which is just a black staircase railing, cream walls behind it and a very light green carpet. And then I hear murmurs from the crowd who are all moving around and trying to find a booth that the wedding is off. I am shocked and I ask my nephew and he says 'didn't you hear? She said she doesn't love him'. However when she was asking me earlier to help her, she was excited and gleeful and happy. Then everything goes silent like someone has turned the volume down on the crowd even though they are all still talking and mingling. My eyes are drawn to the top of the staircase, I know that what's happening at the top of the stairs isn't happening in real time, it's sort of like what happened previously that no one saw and it was being replayed for me. My ex is standing there opposite the girl holding both of her hands and saying 'I love you so much, I can't wait for you to be my wife'. She is smiling back at him, then she takes a step back and says 'I don't love you though'. I don't remember seeing her face, but I remember hearing her name as being different to his current girlfriend. I remember feeling emotional pain but it wasn't for him having just been told that she doesn't love him - its pain at seeing him declare his love for someone else and excited to get married to them. In real life he told me he doesn't want to get married anymore but not just to me, he doesn't want to get married to anyone. Then I wake up. The dream timeline is within an hour or two.

The 1st dream was on Wednesday night, the 2nd on Friday night and the 3rd on Saturday night. If there is any other info you guys need, please do let me know. I'm really looking forward to understanding what these dreams might mean. Any insights would be really appreciated.

Thank you so much everyone!