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    1. #1
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      A disturbing dream

      I had a disturbing dream last night and I can't get it out of my mind.

      My real situation: My best friend was diagnosed with quite advanced breast cancer last week. We have known each other for more than a decade, but grew very close over the last 2 years. We're like sisters, even though she's 12 years my senior (she's 44, I'm 32). After a rough divorce, I moved to an apartment around her corner 2 years ago and we see each other almost every day for coffee, dinners, secret cigarettes on the balcony, catching up,... We share everything and went through a lot of heartache and mental ups and downs together. So the news of her illness was obviously very upsetting, especially because it came as a total surprise. But at the moment, I am mostly worried about her day-to-day well being: dealing with the anxiety while waiting for more test results, empathizing with her for the hard months full of aggressive treatments she is now facing in the prime of her life,... I haven't really thought consciously about the outcome yet. I guess I am just convinced that she will pull through and get better. I can't imagine any other scenario at the moment.

      My dream: a bunch of people I know were meeting at the hospital to accompany my friend to her chemo session. I got lost in the hallways and ended up in the wrong waiting room. When I finally found my friends back, they all looked really worried. It appeared that I was diagnosed with cancer too. I thought it was the same diagnosis: breast cancer, which is still one of the more curable kinds of the disease. But I met my best friend and she looked really worried about me too. And then my dad told me the news: my cancer was far more severe and advanced. It had already spread out all over my body and it was clear I wasn't going to survive. It was very weird and unreal to have to face the fact that I was more sick than my friend, but at the same time for some reason I was at peace with it, like all the pieces of the puzzle suddenly fitting together, giving you a deeper understanding of everything (even though I have no idea what that understanding would have been).

      I've been feeling unsettled by this dream all morning. What would it mean? I felt kind of guilty too, after I woke up. Could anyone help me analyse this dream? Thanks!

    2. #2
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      I think the dream is to put you in the place of your friend to an extent, to help you accept the possibility that she might die from this as a worst case scenario, and to help you deal with the possibility. The subconscious mind (where dreams come from) is much better at handling these kinds of situations than the conscious is, which is so prone to worrying and obsessing. And in times of great stress it can extend a comforting hand and help you deal with the situation. I think it's helping you deal with the possibility of losing her, and also with the things that are happening to her.

      If you're concerned it might mean you really have cancer yourself, I wouldn't worry about that - I've been dealing with dreams and the subconscious for a log time, and this is the way it functions. It does have a tendency at times to put the dreamer 'in the shoes' of somebody else, someone they're concerned for, or if they need to see things from that person's perspective. In this case it could be both - maybe it's also telling you that your friend is able to get help from her own subconscious as well, it's reaching out and helping her the same way yours did for you through this dream, and she's able to also deal with the possibilities with a new calm and acceptance.

      I know someone who suddenly was facing death who was always riddled with endless anxieties, but when her diagnosis came in she changed and became able to handle it better than anybody could have expected. Of course this doesn't mean your friend is going to die, I think it's more about the sudden intrusion of this worst-case possibility - the idea that it could happen, and of course possibility of whatever lesser consequences might also happen.
      Last edited by Darkmatters; 02-12-2019 at 01:16 PM.

    3. #3
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      Thank you Darkmatters! This feels like an analysis that makes sense (and also made me worry a little less).

    4. #4
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      You're welcome. I'm glad if it can be helpful in some way.

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