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I was on the top floor of a tower. My dad was coming up the stairs. I through some of my stuff down the stares and made it magically magnetic to him. He tries to shoot me with a gun next. I put up an energy barrier. My mom ask him why he is trying to kill me. He does give an answer but I don't remember it. He literally comes through the barrier and I think I kill him. This room is my apartment apparently. He haunts the place and rips me apart outside the window of the towers apartment.
Is your father an angry sexist? You're resisting his influence on you, and the tower is your sense of superiority. I assume you're a girl.
Whether this is the case or not for the dreamer depends on a few things, no less so because of the complexity of a person's upbringing and other such factors, so I wouldn't jump into meanings straight away. I can think of plenty of reasons for a dream character (fictional or not) wanting to kill me, without that reason necessarily being akin to senseless violence or baseless.Quote:
Originally Posted by Inspirer
So, I think a pertinent question to you, Luckykuni, is your dad's waking life personality one that would make sense with the dreamt behaviour?
We can dream of characters that relate to our waking life but that then don't behave in a way that conforms to that, and as such a dream character's appearance is only one superficial aspect of what it could signify.
My dad while he was still living was kind of a mixed blessing into this world. He was generally a good person. He did a lot of advocacy for truck drivers. The thing was he did a lot of advocacy for the wrong points as well. Not that he was antilgbt but he didn't want to admit certain truths. I spent most of my life under his rules and he most def didn't believe in transgendeness itself. I am mtf trans and pan. It was simultaneously a relief and a great sorrow to see him go. I am glad he died when he did. Our relationship was kind of falling apart.
Thank you for adding some context.
In that sense, do you think that your dream connects with this in some way, maybe as a part of processing his death, or maybe inversely, perhaps as a part of the fact that you remain alive and effectively survived in some way?
You said before that in the dream, after you kill him (or he dies), he haunts the place; if I'm not mistaken, you've mentioned before that you're an atheist, how would you make sense of a haunting in connection to that aspect of yourself?
his memory is still strong.. thts probably what is haunting.. I stil eed to process his dying.. at the same time I get the having survived long enough to get my dream of a sex change vibe. he wasn't abusive. just an asshole when it comes done t those things. I am most def still angry about it.
When I hear of a tall tower, and that being your apartment where you live, I think of living in the ego. Not living in your heart, but in your head. Also note - attics are often said to represent the intellect (living in your head).Quote:
Originally Posted by Luckykuni
How does that relate? Well, I think this dream is all about your relationship with your father. It sounds like you have a lot of unresolved anger toward him. It's a very strong statement to say that you are happy he died (even though you also say it's sad). A statement that seems fueled by strong emotion. It sounds like you felt that he did not accept you, or that he did not approve/agree with your choices. Maybe you did not feel truly loved the way you wanted him to love you. That is very painful.
Even though he is dead (you kill him in the dream), you can't escape him. He still haunts you. Now this is just my opinion here: no matter how "dead" he is to your heart, he will always "haunt you" until you can process the pain, find forgiveness, and rediscover the love that you have for him. I say that as someone who has routinely not gotten along well with my own Mom.
Still. If I am completely honest? I do love her. Way too much. And that's the problem. When you love someone and they don't accept you, or they disappoint you, that love can go to hate. But notice - it's not indifference. Love and hate are two sides of the same coin. We can suppress and bury that love. We suppress and bury the deep hurt that the anger is covering up. Then we have a fracture of our Self when we deny the truth of the pain and the love we do have. But because it's there, and no amount of suppression can get rid of it, it will continue to pop up in dreams, just like Whac-a-mole, until it is finally recognized (and felt) as truth.
The solution? I think as I get older and learn to love my own Mom more, the secret lies in both processing the unresolved pain, and loving yourself the way you wanted your parent to love you (unconditionally). When you can do that, and not just in words, but in true feeling, the anger felt toward the disappointing parent dissipates. You aren't reliant upon their acceptance because you accept yourself. And because of that, you can learn to appreciate them, and love them regardless of their conditional love toward you. Or at least, that's where I'm heading with my own unfinished journey.
This is just my opinion as an outsider. I can only go off of your posts here, but I hope you find it useful. Good luck. I hope you find peace. :)
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