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    Thread: Friends turns me away

    1. #1
      Join Date
      Oct 2022

      Friend turns me away

      In my dream, I'm in a strange place. I'm traveling. I see a small house, and somehow I recognize that my friend lives there. She is someone that I know in my waking life. I've never actually met her in person, but we've been very close (online) friends for years. I'm male, her female, both straight/cis.

      I decide to go see her. So I approach the house. It's a small house, with a few rooms, and a commons area in the middle, which is visible from outside windows. The house is a cube, if that matters. When I approach the (open) front door - whose placement is biased to the right - I see another door, immediately adjacent to the front door. As I approach, I see it open slightly. I back away, somewhat startled. It closes almost immediately after this. So I knock on the same door. She comes out, in a plush bath robe. She recognizes me. She asks, "what are you doing here?" I don't answer, I just hug her. She says, "please don't". I ask her, "what's wrong? What have I done?" As she is about to start speaking, the dream ends.

      Also... this is the first dream that I remember, where I could feel emotions. Strongly enough that they left some after effects when I woke up. It was a dread feeling. Terrible sadness. It affected me, for reasons that I cannot explain.
      Last edited by Mhan7; 10-09-2022 at 07:21 AM.

    2. #2
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      Oct 2022
      As a friend, she is someone that I care about immensely. But I'm not under the assumption that there is anything else there. Further, it's been a while since we've spoken. (maybe 4 months)

      I don't seek happiness in anything external - whether it be money, love, etc. I'm happy, regardless.

    3. #3
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      My guess would be that you value her friendship dearly and you would like the opportunity to meet her in person but maybe you fear that if you ever did she wouldn’t like the “real” you. This rejection would understandably be deeply saddening like you felt upon awakening. I’ve had dreams where friends and family turn against me or strongly dislike me and they can be quite emotional. It could be down to some insecurities we have about our need to feel liked and valued by others, which we probably all care about to some degree.

      Second opinion:

      Or you could also view it this way. Within the dream you turned up at her house unannounced and without warning. This was innocent behaviour on your part, you just wanted to see your friend but deep down you felt this was slightly odd behaviour given your friendship has always been online and it’s the sort of thing a stalker may do. You may not have registered this on the surface but your mind picked up on the vibe and the dream ran with it. When she answers the door, she’s in her bath robe, further emphasising the inappropriateness of your sudden arrival. She reacts, “what are you doing here?” Perhaps slightly afraid but you are just happy to see your friend and go in for a hug. She pushes you back, again finding your behaviour inappropriate. You still fail to acknowledge the strangeness of your behaviour, as we often do in dreams and seeing your friend react this way left you feeling confused and rejected. I wouldn’t suggest therefore the dream is trying to articulate something important necessarily, it’s just a misunderstanding given how dreams behave and play out. The feeling you felt after was obviously very real though and the takeaway for me would be that you really care about your friendship and you would hate to see it break down in such a way. Why did you have this dream? Who can say. It may be just that your friend popped up in your mind recently and you wanted to “check in” with her since it’s being 4 months and so you did within the dream.
      Last edited by Tiktaalik; 10-10-2022 at 12:56 PM.
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    4. #4
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      Hey. So for starters, I don't judge you for becoming close with someone online. That happens; we are human. Yes, it's not ideal, but at the same time, I think those connections can be genuine. And one thing is true, you can really see into a person's mind when you read what they write - more so, possibly, than having a conversation with them in real life. You're peeking into their inner world. So yeah, it's not ideal, but I get it. I have had many close online friends throughout the years.

      I also don't think there's necessarily anything wrong with seeking a relationship that can add to your happiness - given that you are able to respect the other person at the same time, and take responsibility for your own emotions. It's OK to need people (imo) - it's beautiful even. We're not whole, we're human, and that's OK. Self-love is great, as well. Absolutely work on that, too.

      What an awful dream. I'm sorry you had that experience. I would say that the best course of action, being that it could be related to something in real life, is to talk to her. Tell her about the dream and ask her what she thinks of it (assuming you're close enough to talk about things like that with her).


      As for a dream interpretation - I do think this is likely related to your relationship with her in some way:

      The dream shows her in a bath robe. To me, that says indisposed. In an state of undress. Perhaps she felt that you (unwittingly) violated some boundary based on what she's willing to share or show you. She didn't want you to see her in that state.

      Ok. Here's a stretch, but hear me out. Her house is a cube. I found this online about dream meanings for "cube": "... It may also be a metaphor for "being square" or being too conservative." Being that her door was also "on the right", kind of suggests conservative as well. Does she have values that maybe paint her as old fashioned? Maybe she feels there are proper ways of doing things, and maybe she feels you did not do something in the right way. Perhaps that involves overstepping a boundary.

      I also think how we use language is very important in dreams. So in the dream you say "What's wrong? What have I done?" That says to me that implies a sense of guilt, shame, or rejection. You don't really have a reason to feel that way based on these dream events, because you've done nothing "wrong". Maybe you made a blunder of some sort, but you didn't do anything wrong from the sound of it because it wasn't intentional. You didn't do anything evil. So maybe some self-reflection: Have you been feeling rejected recently? And if that's the case, aside from direct communication, I think the best thing to do is respect her boundaries as best you can, and work on some self-love.


      Quote Originally Posted by Mhan7 View Post
      As a friend, she is someone that I care about immensely. But I'm not under the assumption that there is anything else there. Further, it's been a while since we've spoken. (maybe 4 months)

      I don't seek happiness in anything external - whether it be money, love, etc. I'm happy, regardless.
      Just saw this, so my above post didn't take it into account.

      Knowing that, it's possible she could be a little mad at you for not talking to her for 4 months. Just a possibility. Or it could be related to whatever happened to cause you to stop talking for so long.
      Last edited by Hilary; 10-10-2022 at 01:15 AM.
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    5. #5
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      Probably the fact that you know her online, only??
      Just because you know someone online or even offline doesn't mean that you know them truly. Maybe it is something that you are missing in your waking life, like the true face-to-face physical contact that you miss when you are online.
      How do you feel about yourself? I would advise against looking for Anything that you think is a extension of oneself. happiness when it comes to love/ friendship or any kind of relationship. (IMO) Maybe it is a self-love thing that you may to work on?

      It refers to someone who sees others as a reflection of themselves, of their own needs and feelings. Oops, that is what I mean. Maybe that is what the dream is trying to tell you. Sorry. I hope that clears that up a little.

      Maybe you are missing something within yourself? Internal fulfillment.

      If you are going to try to talk to her, Just remember to respect her boundaries as best you can but, it may a good idea to not chase her. she may want a little space.
      Also, don't forget the best person that can interpret your dreams is Yourself.

      If it is not any of those things, maybe it is just an intense dream that is a mystery that you may never know.

      Last edited by Lang; 10-20-2022 at 11:24 PM.
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