Thread: Wife is evil in my dreams...Very Unnerving

First of all, the descriptions of your dream totally freaked me out just reading them. I can see why you're having trouble sleeping.

I personally am not entirely sure how to go about fixing the underlying problem here. Dreams are usually based on fears, desires or odd blends of the two. That would imply that you very much love your wife, but at the same time you're afraid that she might become angry at you, likely because she was persuaded by somebody else (the sort of evil force you said you felt). The children dream would seem to represent the same sort of thing.
The only real way to deal with such a thing is to confront the cause, but I'm honestly clueless as to the cause in this case. The most I can come up with is that there might be somebody who you're afraid might be persuading your wife to dislike you, but that's a total shot in the dark.
But besides treating the cause, you can treat the symptoms, though it won't fix it entirely. If possible, sleep with the door closed. Let it act as a barrier for the dream character. A significant amount of this is sheer willpower-- Like I said earlier, dreams are based on fears and desires. Lucid dreams are no different. If you get the chance, and can become lucid in such a dream, confine the hostile dream characters. This is when it gets to the willpower part. Close yourself off from them. Seal the doors, close the windows, etc. Fear of the dream characters is what makes them so powerful. When you're afraid, your mind believes that your opponent is superior in every way and can outsmart and outperform you, trapping you more each moment. The counterpart is desire. If you desire a way out, a way out will be created. You will have to be forceful here. Convince yourself that you aren't afraid--and remember, you shouldn't be. This is YOUR head they're in. If you can't completely remove your fear, build up your desires to be greater than your fears. It's easier once you get moving in the right direction. First, make a way out. If you want it, it will be there. This will be the most challenging part, but remember that there's ALWAYS a way out in a dream. Once you've found that pathway out, you're in the clear. Your desires have manifested themselves, which will give you a significant boost in morale, increasing your future success rate. After this, go on the offensive. Never go back to running, or hiding, because acting defensively will weaken your resolve.
This all likely seems a bit overwhelming. It doesn't have to be. Just trust that next time you have a dream, there will be a way out. There always is. You don't even need to be lucid, though that is a significantly positive goal. Just trust that next time you have that dream, there will be a way out. A way to win.

Best wishes,
-Tsen

I find it a wonder that more men do not write in complaining of the nightmare of being married. When one thinks of the proud dignity of masculinity being crushed under the oppressive weight of a totally pink domesticity, and assigned all sorts of silly and needless chores, and placed under the obligation of a hundred restrictions, compromises and curtailments. The veritable castration of the Hero's Soul. Well, it is surprising that not every married man dreams of his own personal harpy going at him with a knife.

Thank you for your reply and advice. Much appreciated.

In response to what you said about "the children dream" which I think you were talking about the second dream was not of children rather excluding them whereas adults were attacking me.

Yet only 2 hours later another nightmare tonight. One of those attacking ones where my wife was filled with anger and said very cold things and was unwilling to listen to my plea. My family and friends were involved and were all against me, fighting with me in such a cold manner. I was controlled by all that surrounded me and was told very nasty things by my wife, mother, father, brother, friends, etc. they were all against me and helping my wife with her cold ways. They all hated me and told me to leave and wouldn't give me a chance to defend myself against what was said. Again, I was controlled. The evil noises are ferocious yet again and ring in my head when I awake for hours.

Just to add some personal info, my wife, 3 months ago, suffered from a severe mental breakdown and ended up in the hospital for 6 weeks and is undergoing an 18 week psychiatric day program. She is a very level headed woman, good hearted, and a very loving person and mother. But in her mental breakdown she ended on a destructive path to destroy her dignity and end result, herself by having a physical affair with someone she cared nothing for and attempted suicide. She was diagnosed as borderline by-polar, social anxiety, passive/aggressive, acute depression, and many more. Obviously this has a part to play and I do feel threatened by those who surround me.

Prior to my wife’s breakdown, I was about to suffer one myself as my wife and I was controlled by my business partners (as they are the financial) my parents and family due to my parents involvement in the business I started 2 years ago. These people all betrayed me throughout the last year and I have had my problems with my parents as a child and I am now suffering mentally and seeking help professionally but the doctors are not taking the dreams seriously. This is getting way out of hand and I am only sleeping a couple hours per night and don't think I am getting REM sleep.

I am desperate here as this is leaving me drained to the sole emotionally and physically.

Don't mean to double post here but...

I understand where the dreams are coming from but I am interpreting them in many different ways. I guess what I am looking for here is (as already indicated) how to control the dreams as I have read many ways in doing so unsuccessfully. I also am curious as to the unconscious feelings I may have for my wife, family and friends even business partners now that I have been betrayed by all. My wife and I have resolved many deadening feelings in our relationship and are seeing counseling (although I see it as unproductive as we are a loving couple whereas she had a mental breakdown vs. marriage problems). Are the dreams indicating much professional help is needed (maybe post traumatic stress disorder or something else)? Since the doctors don't understand the trauma I go through every night and are ignoring the nightmare issue do I need to seek other types of counseling or help? I am to the point now that I am afraid of falling asleep as it is getting to the point that the dream is affecting me immediately after I awake (I've even rolled over to pull my wife towards me and check her eyes as in the dream they were black). Does this happen often to people? I've seen this in movies but come on...I never believed people could be so distraught by dreams when they awake.

Again, thank you for your help and advice. Much appreciated

What are you thinking about before you fall asleep at night? Are you laying there hoping not to have those dreams again? You may be setting yourself up for these dreams to manifest if you are dwelling on them. They do sound quite terrifying and I can imagine you are afraid to fall asleep for fear you'll have these dreams again.

Have you tried kind of meditating yourself to sleep? I mean, clear your mind and do some deep breathing exercises as you lay in bed and prepare to drift off. Sometimes I have to clear my mind before I fall alseep, and I use the following exercise:

I lay in bed and close my eyes. I picture a large blackboard in my mind. Written on the board are all the thoughts that are flowing through my mind (work and relationship stuff, etc.). It can be full sentences or just words - and they are constantly moving and changing in relation to what I'm thinking at that moment. Then I take an eraser and wipe away all the thoughts from the board. Once the board is completely clear, I concentrate on keeping my mind (the blackboard) clear and blank. If my thoughts stray back to something, and words start to appear on the blackboard again, I just wipe them away again. Usually the effort of keeping my mind and the board blank drives my brain into sleep. Drifting off without all those stray thoughts usually keeps me from having bad dreams - and I seem to recall the dreams better in the morning.

Some of the members here may recall me giving this advice to someone else before who was having divorce-related nightmares, so please forgive me re-posting it. The guy never posted back about if he tried it or not or how it worked.

Dan, you can tweak it to suit your needs better if you want - just keep the general idea of clearing your mind into peaceful rest.

I'm glad you and your wife are seeking professional counseling since none of use are doctors and can only give generalized advice. But I encourage you to keep sharing your thoughts to the members or Dream Guides (you can PM any Dream Guide or considerate member and I'm sure they will listen). Keeping this kind of thing bottled up isn't healthy - sometimes it helps just writing it down. We are here listen and help if we can.

Good Luck.

Your wife being in two places at the same time means it's as if there are two of her, the affectionate one and the hateful one. The mirror means you are pondering her inner self. The kitchen is the need for emotional/spiritual nourishment, the knife great anger and hate, and the black eyes are a negative window into her soul. Her zooming forward is the approaching condition that's coming to be. Of course the details are based on your actual physical surroundings, so who knows for sure. But no real surprises here.

If EVERYONE is betraying you then what you have is an extreme phenomenon, so you should look for not one reason but several, including whatever you might be doing wrong.

Often what defeats us is not the many thorns of life but the lack of roses.

Fire your doctors, make new friends, eat chocolate, and find your nourishment.

I've often experienced a similar kind of nightmare, where a rushing force came flying at me extremely fast, waking me up and shaking me up quite badly.

It's a small point, but if your wife really does sleep with her head on your chest, or if either you or her tend to rest your hand on your stomach, I often find this induces nightmares, especially of this type. It might be worth paying attention to your sleeping posture. Your body considers your stomach a vulnerable area and to have a hand placed over it makes you think you're under attack, resulting in the rushing effect you described.

What I try and do when I fall asleep is find a spec or star (whatever…might be a focus of light still burnt in my vision). I try and follow it while it moves around and it draws attention away from my thoughts as I am focusing on the spec. I start to find myself drift then I have no idea what’s in my mind from there.

The idea of my wife having two different ‘personalities’ (if you will) in my dreams, the affectionate one and the hateful one, I consider to be a very realistic assessment. The fact that my wife is normally very level headed, loving and understanding person then all of a sudden suffered greatly from a mental breakdown due to withdrawal from medication prior too and outside controlling issues in our family causing her to break down in character and became a very hateful person. She only came to realize her irrational reactions and hatred days after she was in the hospital. Although, every now and then she has a small relapse of hate which may last a few hours until she realizes her actions (totally out of character and she is getting better).

I don’t understand your comment with respect to her zooming forward “the approaching condition that’s coming to be”. Is this directed to me or my wife?

As for everyone betraying me and quote “extreme phenomenon”, this was caused due to the fact that I am the sole technical advisor, architect and developer for the company, responsible to build an entire system from client applications to embedded and host system development, due to failure to gain adequate investment capital. The betrayal became one of control whereas other family members, friends and partners would not take my immediate family into consideration and often threatened my control in the company (I am the original founder of the company). On another note; recently, after 2 years, I finally release and completed a successful product launch at a trade show.

Therefore, with all that was said, I am fighting every night to control my thoughts and keep them clear but yet it still happens. Maybe this is why the doctors are ignoring the issue as they may be thinking I am going to bed with these thoughts. Truthfully, I am not. What can I do next other than fix my outside influences and issue which I am slowly taking care of one step at a time.

Thanks again for your time.

I've never seen such distress as yours. Everyone else around here is just having little conflicts between their ways and their needs. But you are in dire straights. I wish you the best of luck pulling yourself and surviving what you are going through and things getting better.

Although this might not work at all, I have a hunch that it might. Do you always sleep near you wife? Perhaps you should sleep somewhere else, like on a couch. Perhaps a distance between her will cause the subconcious to not show such things. I really wish I could help you more and I hope they go away soon, sounds terrible... Good luck.

Thank you all for your information and support...

As per sleeping on the couch or somewhere else, it doesn't help either. I've left for a few days to gather things and slept at a hotel and still the same problem. I've also slept in another bed and still the same...

It’s been three very long months with little to no sleep due to the dreams. For example, the other night I finally fell asleep at 1:30 AM to awake from a nightmare at 3:00 AM. Half an hour later I fell back asleep to awake at 4:00 AM from yet another nightmare. At 4:30 AM I fell back asleep to awake from the third nightmare at 5:30 AM but this time I was too drained and startled to fall back asleep. This is how it and I must get to the bottom of it…

Finally, I found the medical help to aid in my efforts to rid of these dreams. I was right that I am suffering from post-traumatic experiences but as per my psychologist I should not be suffering as severely as I am. I am a strong character and have had many successes without ever suffering from such mental anguish as I am now and am working with the psychologist to get to the root of why I am suffering as such including the and dreams. My psychologist performs dream analysis along with many other techniques that should help me get to the bottom of this but it has been indicated that it will take many months to resolve.

Again, thank you for your help and posts. I should keep you all posted in case, hopefully not, someone else suffers such post-traumatic experiences.